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Competed Jokes

I just competed in the suntanning olympics

but I only got bronze.

Why hasn't India ever competed in the football World Cup?

Because every time they get a corner they try to build a shop on it.

So a mesothelioma patient competed in the Olympics last year

She didn't win anything, but she did asbestos she could.

If plants competed in American Idol, which one would win?

I think coriander would.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The existence of casual sex infers the existence of competitive sex, and since none of you have competed

You're all fucking casuals

Last week I competed in the World Tanning Championships..

I came out with a Bronze..

George W. Bush, Clarence Thomas, Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, and Brett Kavanaugh all competed in a spelling bee...

Surprisingly, George W. Bush won.



He was the only contestant to spell "harass" as one word.

Once Upon A Time there was a International Poets Contest. All the poets from across the lands came to compete bringing there best original work to compete against their peers. For 40 days and nights they competed eliminating Poet after Poet.

On the 40th day they had narrowed it down to only 2 poets. Both poets read poems back to back for 12 hours, each poem as good as the last. After the 12th hour the judge’s became exhausted and realized that this may never end as both poets were equally amazing. They had to decide a winner and they ha...

Having only ever competed in the 100m dash, what did the professional sprinter say after his first 200m race?

I've finally turned a corner in my career.

I apologize in advance

There was this guy named Barley Chown who produced knockoffs of famous designer brands, and was always trying to sell them in major retail stores. The head of purchasing at one store was named Sue Lee, and her policy was to never buy knockoffs as they competed with the more profitable designer bran...

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition

Three men, exhausted from selling colored automobile wheels all day, decided to enter in a competition: who could render a knot out of a multi-colored suit-tie the fastest. They went on, waited in line, and eventually competed against each other, however in the end they all had the same time.
...

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