A dog became a successful lawyer, but has a rivalry with an attorney. One day, the attorney won and the judge threw out the case.
The dog said, "Don't worry, I brought it back to him."
A tribal chief down on his luck decided to marry off his three daughters
For in those days suitors paid a bridal price, and the chief thought he could live off what his daughters would fetch him, and at the same time ensure that his children would be secure and provided for.
Now, it was a point of rivalry between the girls to see who would fetch the best price amo...
Dave and Colin had a friendly rivalry spanning many years. They played a drinking game where they would catch a mosquito each, knock it out and put it in their left ear. The first mosquito to wake up designated the winner. As I watched one night Dave jumped up, pointed at his friends glass and said
Fill Colins! I can feel it humming in my ear tonight
What is the one thing Norway have better than Denmark?
*(Norwegians and Danish have a long running friendly rivalry, one of my Danish friends told me this joke today)*
So farmer Bob had a rivalry with farmer Jim.
They were both cattle farmers but Jim's herd was much larger and fatter, and his meat went for much more money. So bob started looking for a way to bulk up his cows. He started experimenting. Eventually he discovered that feeding them marijuana made them grow exponentially, while also making them mo...
Two fill in the blank jokes for your particular rivalry.
1. What's the difference between a girl from _______ and a parrot?
You can teach a parrot to say no.
2. Did you hear that _________ school library burnt down?
They lost both books. One of them hadn't even been colored in yet.
The Brazilian the Argentine and the Genius
(To understand the joke you need to know that there is a lot of rivalry between Brazilians and Argentines) An Argentine and a Brazilian when walking through the desert found a magic lamp. A genie came out of it and began to speak: "You are my masters and each of you will be granted a wish." The Ar...
My wife and I fight a lot
But sibling rivalry is normal
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So a lawyer walks on a plane and sits in the aisle seat beside two doctors...
He takes his shoes off and gets comfy in his seat. A little while after takeoff one of the doctors says “excuse me, would you mind if I get up to get a coke?” The lawyer responds “oh, no problem. In fact, I’ll just go and get it for you!” While he’s at the front of the plane, the doctor spits in hi...
In New York, when a married couple gets into a fight, it’s called domestic violence.
In Alabama, it’s known as sibling rivalry.
Forever mortal frenemies
Britain and France. Forever mortal frenemies. The rivalry goes back over 1000 years. One of the biggest sticking point has always been the channel. Is it the British channel or the French? In order to show how one country was superior in the rivalry every 100 years the 2 countries would hold a cross...
I submit to you, the only joke I have ever heard my father tell.
There are two trees in the forest; one a birch, one a beech. They have grown up together from saplings to fully grown trees. They always had a healthy rivalry going, arguing about everything from the weather to the composition of the soil. In their older years a little sapling started to sprout betw...
In a suburb of Boston, there was a Catholic church across the street from a Jewish synagogue.
Over the years, a friendly rivalry had grown between the two congregations. One weekend, the members of the synagogue gave their long-time rabbi a brand new Cadillac. By sheer coincidence, the parishioners gave their pastor a new Cadillac on the same day.
Everyone laughed at the coincidence...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
So there's these two friends named Bill and Jim.
Jim has Chihuahua and Bill has a German Shepherd. These two guys go for a walk with their dogs every Saturday evening. One Saturday, as they were passing a popular bar, Bill asked Jim if he wanted to go get a drink.
Jim replied, "Um Bill we have dogs lol we can't go in there fam."
A Dutchman is driving in Belgium when he hits a Belgian car.
The Belgian whose car he hit was upset, as it was severely dented and the Dutchman was clearly at fault. But the Dutchman, unwilling to pay for the damages, managed to calm him down by explaining to him how to remove the dents: "Just blow into the exhaust, and the dents will pop out in no time". So ...
There have been few historical examples of wars with three opposing sides.
One such example occurred in the 11th century, with the three belligerents being the French, the English (Anglos) and the Vikings. The rivalry between each group was quite intense, and unlike other situations, the two weaker groups at the time did not join together to fight the strongest. Instead, t...