Mr. T was asked for his comments before his celebrity boxing match with Dave Grohl, he responded with

"I pity the Foo"

What do you get when you cross the Twitter community with a controversial celebrity?

Nothing. They cancel each other out.

Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.

“Mr. Sinatra," said the teen-age boy, “my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favor?”
“What kind of favor?” Sinatra asked.
Well, I’m here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say ‘Hi, Be...

Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine.

Because you only get one shot.

Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.

Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?

Reese. With her spoon.

The lastest celebrity to ditch plastic is....

Kanye West

Dave and the barber

So this guy Dave is in getting a haircut. He tells the barber, “I’m going on a three week vacation to Europe.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yes, I am.”

“You’re going to hate it. Everything is so comp...

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board

I wanted to see if I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet.

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and how come he had not gone to the after life yet?"

Turns ...

Everybody Knows Somebody Called DAVE.

Dave is an advertising executive in L.A., who is always boasting that he knows EVERYONE on the planet, & they all know him.

His colleagues love hearing his stories about this celebrity, or that politician. However, his boss doesn't believe a word & challenges him to prove his boasts....

Joining two words together is called a portmanteau. If one of the words is a celebrity's name, however...

it's a Natalie Portmanteau.

This year in Heaven the Christmas celebration was also a costume party. Everyone dressed up.

Many people came as movie characters, from Gandalf the Grey (and White) to Jason Bourne to Black Widow to Harry Potter. Alan Rickman went as Hans Gruber, which made St. Peter exclaim "See, Die Hard IS a Christmas movie!" St. Peter was dressed as the "Fragile" lamp from A Christmas Story. Moses showe...

Dad: Did you hear about the celebrity that killed her husband?

Dad: Her name was Reese...


Son: Witherspoon?


Dad: No, with her knife.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Ask Reddit be like "If you could have sex with any celebrity, dead or alive, who would it be?"

I'd choose alive. Weirdo.

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.



Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they p...

Omg it took an hour for my friend and I to realize that our Uber driver was a celebrity!!

He’s even ranked top ten in the list of most desired people in the world by the FBI!

1. What do you call a fight between celebrity actors? ( more)

1. **What do you call a fight between celebrity actors?**

**Star Wars!**



**2. What do you call a man with two pieces of wood on his head?**

**Edward Woodwood!**



3. **What do you call a pig that knows karate?**
**Pork chop!**


4....

Who's the celebrity with the most weapons?

Ana de Armas.

What celebrity billionaire should have a cologne named after them?

Elon Musk

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity

She kept screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" like I was supposed to know the name.

The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it.

So wake me up when it’s all over

Never thought I'd meet a celebrity.

I met 50 CENT living in the same neighborhood i lived in. He lived in the G unit.

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