Dwayne Johnson was murdered in a hotel room he was staying at. Police were called as soon as the body was discovered, and they did some investigating.
An officer knocked on the door of someone living one floor down. He asked the man who answered if he heard anything unusual above him, but he ...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
If you could take your spouse's brain and put it in the body of any any celebrity,
you would probably get arrested for double homicide, you fucking psychopath.
Which celebrity is known as the fastest house-flipper?
The Incredible Hulk
An employee buys his boss a bottle of liquor to celebrity his anniversary.
The boss goes, “I haven’t bought alcohol in 15 years. I’m 15 years *free.*”
The employee quickly apologizes and says, “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to break your sobriety!”
The boss responds, “Sobriety? No I just have been stealing alcohol for 15 years and drinking it for free.”
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my constant celebrity name dropping...
David Beckham warned me that this might happen.
I had five hundred Hershey Bars in my fridge and my friend had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person.
That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work.
A celebrity, assassin, and activist walk into a bar.
They stand beside each other and have a friendly conversation.
Suddenly, the assassin takes the knife out and flat out murders the celebrity. He then dumps her in a nearby trash can.
The activist turns red and screamed, “You bloody monster! You didn’t put her in the plastic section!”
Mr. T was asked for his comments before his celebrity boxing match with Dave Grohl, he responded with
"I pity the Foo"
There is a beaver in our local zoo who is quite the celebrity. His name is Clint.
What do you get when you cross the Twitter community with a controversial celebrity?
Nothing. They cancel each other out.
Today I met my favorite celebrity at work.
It sucks working in a morgue
Johnson & Johnson have hired Eminem as a celebrity spokesperson for their COVID vaccine.
Because you only get one shot.
Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus.
In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy. He presented with vomit on his sweater already. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti.
Which celebrity is always ready for cereal?
Reese. With her spoon.
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Ask Reddit be like "If you could have sex with any celebrity, dead or alive, who would it be?"
I'd choose alive. Weirdo.
The lastest celebrity to ditch plastic is....
At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.
Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.
"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."
Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they p...
Your momma so old...
Her first celebrity crush was Hercules.
Dad: Did you hear about the celebrity that killed her husband?
Dad: Her name was Reese...
Dad: No, with her knife.
I think I banged a Chinese celebrity
She kept screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" like I was supposed to know the name.
Who's the celebrity with the most weapons?
Ana de Armas.
Frank Sinatra was dining out one night when a young high school lad came up to his table.
“Mr. Sinatra," said the teen-age boy, “my name is Bernie Rosenberg. Would you please do me a favor?” “What kind of favor?” Sinatra asked. Well, I’m here with my girl and I want to make a good impression on her. I certainly would appreciate it if you would drop by my table and say ‘Hi, Be...
The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it.
So wake me up when it’s all over
Omg it took an hour for my friend and I to realize that our Uber driver was a celebrity!!
He’s even ranked top ten in the list of most desired people in the world by the FBI!
What celebrity billionaire should have a cologne named after them?