Did you hear about the celebrity gunman?

He was a real shooting star

Which celebrity gets the most speeding tickets?

Kim Kar-dash-ian

At a celebrity party, Stevie Wonder meets golf champ Tiger Woods and mentions that he, too, is an excellent golfer.

Tiger is a bit skeptical that the blind musician can play golf well, but he's too polite to say anything.

"When I tee off, " the singer explains, "I have a guy call to me from the green. My sharp sense of hearing lets me aim."

Tiger is impressed, and Stevie suggests that they play a ...

Seeing the flash in the distance, Elton John knew he only had moments to live. He turned to the nearest celebrity at the party for one last human embrace.

"Hold me closer, Tony Danza."

The perfect celebrity candidate for the job of being santa is...

John Cena of course.









Because NO ONE CAN SEE HIM !!!

When you want a picture taken with a celebrity at a concert or event

just make sure you shave your head and wear a hospital gown, works for me every time.

Did you hear about that celebrity who got caught stealing a whole bunch of cheese?

True story, it was Brie Larson.

The worst thing about celebrity deaths is the inevitable torrent of jokes referencing them from people trying to be witty when really it should be a time of mourning and respect. I won’t take any part in it.

So wake me up when it’s all over

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you could have sex with any dead celebrity, who would it be?

I'd choose Brittany Murphy because she'd still be relatively fresh.

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawking.

I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.

Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,

there is a stairway to heaven.

I ran into a celebrity while walking down Hollywood Boulevard. He had a mullet, tons of jewelry, and was yelling, “I piy the fool!”

I said, “Hey, you missed a t.”

What do celebrity horses eat?

Matthew McConaughay

Have you tried out the new celebrity voice feature for Google Maps?

I chose Matthew McConaughey, but now I can't turn left...

A celebrity from the capital of Taiwan

would be a Type-A Personality

The Mitsubishi ASX is like any 60s/70s/80s celebrity.

It's old, attracts older people, has received many plastic surgeries, and just won't die already.

I went on a date with this girl...

and for some reason we got to the topic of celebrity crushs
I told her that mine was Cardi B

She told me that her crush was Paul Walker, I immediately replied with 'so we have similar tastes'. She gave me a confused look so I elaborated by saying 'well both of them used to be wrapped arou...

What type of car does a washed up celebrity drive?

A Mercedes Has-Benz

After falling on hard times, Mike Tyson decided to set up a "get punched by a celebrity" booth at the state fair, but sadly there was little interest.

Yeah he was hoping for a punch line too.

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity

She kept screaming "I'm Wei Tu Yung" like I was supposed to know the name.

I see the local baker was enjoying his mild celebrity status in the town paper after saving a drowning man..

He was acting really flan buoyant .

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Some celebrity’s have their own theme songs

Like Ellen with I’m coming out, or Bill Cosby with I wanna be sedated

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