What’s a Mexicans favorite sport?

Cross country

Why are Canadians so good at sports?

They always bring their eh game

What is Jesus’s least favorite sport?

Basketball

Because he hates being crossed up

Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't move at all...

After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her.

The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.

So he turns to the blonde and asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are usin...

What was George Bush’s favorite sports team?

The New York Jets

Person A: hey, does your dad like sports?

Person b: no, my dad hates sports

Dad: hey sport

Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.

Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"

Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed...

Americans always get sports wrong.

Why would the Super Bowl have no bowling?

If laziness was an Olympic sport,

I would come fourth to save walking up to the Podium.

What do you call a man who's spent all night drinking at a sports bar?

A cab.

TIL that Sir Paul McCartney once turned down nearly $64 million to appear on an American talk show because he wanted to stay home and watch his favorite sport on TV.

It was *Ellen* or rugby.

French person: Do you do sports?

Me: Wii

Someone at a sports event says “In all of my years as a spud, I have never seen a play as amazing as that one”. Who was that someone?

The common tater

What sport is a Mexican best at?

Cross-country.

There should be a Olympic sport just for women

Name it “500m jump to conclusions”

What's the Chinese minister for bowling sport's name?

Bo Ling

What's the Korean minister for bowling sport's name?

Bo Ling-Pin.

My son's favourite nursery rhyme taught me what strategy mice use to win sports games.

They like to run down the clock.

Want to know Mexico's favourite sport ?

Cross Country

A bunch of stoners were tasked with the job of inventing a new sport...

The result was just a bunch of misshapen llamas playing football.
When they asked the group of stoners why they decided this to be the new sport, they replied "we were just sitting there in silence for a long time and then someone said "alpaca bowl""

What's an anti-vaxxer's favourite sport?

Water polio

Losing my virginity was like school sports day...

I was bruised and bloody, but at least my father came.

A blonde rear-ended a sports car...

A blonde was driving and accidentally rear-ended a sports car. It wasn't much damage but it was enough to give the sports car a dent and scratched paint.

A large man got out of the sports car and was red with rage. He yelled at the blonde to get out of her car. She did, and the man drew a cir...

We discussed concussions in Sports Medicine today

Talk about a headache

What do you call Christmas night when your favorite sports team finally wins?

The First No L

Why does Gordon Ramsey never bet on any sports events?

Because he never likes the steakes.

As an intolerant dyslexic sports enthusiast...

I really hate all transrefs coming between seasons in college football.

Is clubbing a sport?

Depends how hard you’re hitting them

What's the difference between women, and an exotic sports car?

I've been inside exotic sports cars...... :(

How can you tell if someone is about to criticize a sports team or criticize you?

By how they pronounce "No offense"

What professional sport would be more fun to watch if the athletes drank alcohol during?

NASCAR

If having low confidence and low self-esteem was an Olympic sport...

I would probably get bronze.

My uncle decided to get involved in a sport as his health was failing.

But he took up bobsleigh and went downhill rapidly

I used to play sports. Then I realized you can buy trophies.

Now I am good at everything.

A young man was showing off his sports car to his girlfriend.

She was thrilled at the speed.
"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked. "Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend. And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over.

The naked gir...

I think docking would make for a great spectator sport.

It’s really end to end.

A question asked to the Olympic boxing team regarding the dangers of their sport.

10% responded that boxing is dangerous to health, the remaining 90% did not understand the question.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Yeah, saying the same thing as the sports commentator is good, but...

Have you tried sex?

What is Sean Connery's favourite sport and at what time does he like to play it?

Tennish...

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

What do you call someone who thinks NASCAR is superior to any other racing sport?

A racist.

Weightlifting is a tough sport

Others set the bar very high

Three guys die...

and Saint Peter stops them at the Golden Gates. He tells them, "Depending how faithful you were to your wife, depends what kind of car you drive across the Golden Bridge to heaven."

​

First guy says, "I was married 10 years and only cheated three times."

&#x200B;<...

Golf is a dangerous sport

My wife returned home from a round of golf and said she’d been injured. She told me she’d be hit between the first and second holes.

To which I replied: “That doesn’t leave much room for a bandaid!”

For hundreds of years they were forced to work for us across our nation, tirelessly and without monetary compensation. They were whipped, and tied to wooden posts. Even today, they are exploited for sports and entertainment.

Man, horses must really hate us.

Why is it so windy inside a sports arena?

All those fans

What is an extreme sport?

Doing your homework while your teacher is collecting it.

It’s a good thing the popular sports drink was invented at Florida instead of Florida State...

Because “Gatorade” is a much better name than “Seminole Fluid”.

If getting ordinary words confused with types of mushrooms was an Olympic sport...

I'd be world champignon.

What’s the most popular sport in Tamriel?

Molagball

What sports channel does Lando Calrissian watch?

BESPN

What is the best sport to play before brunch?

Tenish

What’s Mark Zuckerberg’s favourite recreational sport?

Fishing

Why were the geometry students so bad at sports?

Because they were really out of shape.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Three sports fans leave a bar...

(Insert teams A, B and C as you like. This is how I know it.)

Three baseball fans walk out of a bar. They turn a corner and see a pair of legs sticking out from behind a bush. They push the bush aside and find a woman dead and completely naked. They call the police and as they wait, they deci...

At a medical check-up: Do you do dangerous sports?

Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.

Which famous astrophysicist used to play sports?

Neil Lacrosse Tyson

My boss showed up to work in a brand new sports car

“Wow, that is a really amazing car” I said to him

“Thanks” he replied, “If you work hard, strive for excellence, and always put in your hours, I’ll buy another one next year”

There was once a 10 year old little boy

Riding his blue bicycle in his mountain town. He hears a strange, unfamiliar bell coming from the top of the nearby mountain. He decides to investigate the next day. He wakes up extra early at 7am and begins his summit to find the bell. He arrives at the top of the mountain after a long 12 hour bike...

Soccer is the only sport that's not a game of inches.

It's a game of feet.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My favorite winter Olympic sport is women’s curling...

Because it’s the one time every four years I can yell, “sweep harder” at a woman, and no one thinks it’s because I’m a sexist pig.

A man gets in a fight with his wife

A man gets in an argument with his wife during dinner. After the meal, the husband furiously runs down to their wine cellar and opens a bottle of vintage wine. Magically, a genie comes out of the bottle and says "You have freed me. You now have three wishes. But you should know, whatever you wish fo...

Most Precious Element

In school one day, the teacher decided that for science class she would teach about raw materials. She stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw material in the world, what would it be?"


Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, becau...

Some people say that baseball is a boring sport, I just tell them that with a good pitcher...

Things can get out of hand pretty quickly.

‘Olympic throwing sports aren’t what they used to be.’

Discus.

An American man walks into a British sports store.

"How much do those weights cost?"

"Ten pounds"

"I know how much they weigh, I want to know how much they cost."

A dying Scottish man is meeting his lawyer at a local tavern to talk about his will.

After a few rounds of whiskey, the Scot admits that he doesn't want to leave his hard-earned fortune to his good-for-nothing, lazy son. But he feels like he had no other choice. He has no other family and no friends.


The lawyer says he could write a clause that would force the son to do...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I never participated in sports...

But I still got atrophy

They call the Kentucky Derby the fastest two minutes in sports...

But they clearly haven't seen me start, then quit, a 5K.

What noise does a sports car from Pittsburgh make?

YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS
YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS
YIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS

There is a sport greater than Javelin

Discus.

Can throwing a round heavy object as far as you can be classed as a sport??

Discus

Sports injuries

An ice hockey player, a rodeo clown and a beautiful figure skater walk into a bar. After a couple of drinks they start to compare their injuries.

“None of my teeth are my own, I once lost seven teeth during one game.”, started the hockey player.

“Well, that’s nothing - during my care...

EA Sports™ - It's in the game.

jk its in the dlc

A man scuttled out to his garage and began pulling the lawn furniture out onto the driveway.

Shortly after he did the same with the lawnmower, a few gardening tools and a bicycle.

A curious neighbour wandered over and asked if he was going to have a garage sale.

“No,” replied the man. “My son just bought his first car and right now he’s getting ready for a big date.”

“S...

Enemies of Russia enjoy which track and field sport the most?

Shot Putin.

It's Judgment Day and three married men are sent to heaven

Three friends are standing in line waiting to be judged: Jim, Billy and Kevin.

&#x200B;

Forward comes Jim and God tells him: "Jim, you've been loyal to your wife and never cheated". God gives Jim a brand new sports car and tells him to drive to heaven and off goes Jim.

&...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do extreme sports and sex have in common?

Both have the very real chance of changing the world's population.

What’s EA’s favourite E-sport?

Lootboxing.