Leadership Jokes

Donald Trump asks Emmanuel Macron how he's able to make such great decisions all the time.

Macron says "I make sure to communicate with intelligent people and ask their advice."

Trump: "Well how do you know they're smart?"

Macron: "I ask them riddles. Observe."

He calls ... read more

They razz Putin.

But then again, he was in the SS.

General Lee speaking.

One day Vladimir Putin arrived at an elementary school, where he gave a lecture on all the reasons why Russia, under his leadership, is the best country in the world. After the lecture, he invited the children to ask him questions, and almost everyone raised their hand enthusiastically - after all, ... read more

He does a wonderful job, but there's only one problem: he always shows up late.

So his boss takes him aside and asks him, "Weren't you in the military? What would your leadership say if you were late?"

The veteran replies, "They'd say, 'Good morning, Sergeant Major. Your coffee's on yo... read more

A young First Nations chief in Canada has just taken over leadership of his tribe, and wants to do the very best for his people. Since it is autumn, he tells them they should gather firewood for the coming winter, so they start to do that. But the young chief still has doubts - what if they don't ... read more

While posted to Germany in 1987 I was a Cpl in the Canadian Army. I had been selected to attend a Combat Leadership Course.
One of the first things we were required to do was stand in front of our peers in a classroom and give a brief blurb on ourselves.
The course Warrant Officer said “Righ... read more

"I'm a mod on reddit."

The man asked me to show him an example of leadership skills.

"OK," I replied. "I'm hired."

Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Redskins, has announced that the team is dropping "Washington" from the team name, and it will henceforth be simply known as, "The Redskins." It was reported that he finds the word "Washington" imparts a negative image of poor leadership, mismanagement, corruption, cheat... read more

Even *he* knows not to compare Apples and oranges.

Suddenly, on the horizon, there loomed a ship with a skull and crossbones raised on the mast.

The crew was frantic, seeking refuge and asking the captain what to do.

Brave Captain Smith looked at the approaching ship for a moment and said: “Bring me my red shirt”.

The call was t... read more

A scowling man said to himself as he walked: No hamburgers, no coffee, not even toiletries...

At this time, police in plainclothes came over and whispered to him: I warn you, if you slander great Russia under Putin's leadership like this, I will hit you with a pistol on the head!

The... read more

A company decides to enlist a few people to help with the running of their factory, A Swiss for the time, a German for leadership, a French for the food and a Chinese for the supplies. On the first day the German walks around the factory looking at everyone and everyone is doing their jobs, he sees ... read more

...but tell that to Kim Jong Un, he's a dictator with a failing Korea

Under the last administration, America really was an Obama-nation.

The new soviet leader has just taken power.

The former leaders says to him ‘I have left you two letters. When you get into problems open the first letter. If you still have problems open the second letter”.

About 1 year into his leadership things are going badly for the new guy. He t... read more

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked "intellectual leadership." He received a $26 million severance package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence...

In the fallout at the termination of the nuclear deal, the US declares war on Iran. There is a specific strategically located base that has stumped the US military leadership. They decide to call up their Israeli allies in Mossad, hoping they had stolen plans for the base.

The Mossad guys tel... read more

The pope dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates with the gates being shut and St. Peter nowhere to be found. He starts loudly calling for him and finally after a couple of minutes of desperate yelling a white dove flies over to him.

"What do you want, human?" asks the dove in a human voice
<... read more

A manager comes back from a Leadership Seminar, full of bright ideas and cheerfulness. He calls a meeting of all of his employees and announces that his office door will be open, and he will be easily accessible for the rest of the week, and if there is ANYTHING an employee needs, now is the time t... read more

During the Cold War, the Soviets and the Americans decided that nuclear brinkmanship was not sustainable. So they agreed to settle the question of world hegemony once and for all with a good old-fashioned dog fight - the parties had one year to prepare.

The top scientist of both nations worke... read more

Everybody knows that the lion is the king of the jungle. Always has been, and for generations it seemed like he always would be. One afternoon, however, after a particularly poorly received watering hole decision, the elephant had had enough.

“Lion,” he said, “I’ve been your major domo for a... read more