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Sam got thrown out a Strip club for using monopoly money.

Sam's logic - Why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

My girlfriend uses the same strategy in monopoly as she does in our relationship

She just keeps cheating

You can tell Monopoly is an old game...

...because there’s a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

My brother went to jail.

He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his feces on the wall.

I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.

If I had a dollar for everytime some one complained about monopoly addiction

I could put a hotel on all my properties.

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

Scrabble, monopoly and cluedo were sitting around the bedroom feeling sorry for themselves

They hadn’t been played with in a long time and were feeling particularly frustrated and listless. They wanted something to do but just didn’t know what to do and so sat there with a mood on, not feeling happy at all.

Human 1 and human 2 came into the room and human 1 picked up monopoly and ...

Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely?

Welcome to the shutdown...

Did you hear about the guy who has monopoly on the chicken industry?

He's a real chick magnate

I hate monopoly! My dad always beats me!

Its probably because I always win.

So Hasbro made a Fortnite Monopoly...

But ironically it's for ages 13+.

My nickname in bed is monopoly

Because I take two hours to finish

Why can't two women play monopoly together?

There's only one iron.

Why did ABBA play monopoly empire?

So that they could take a Chance on ME.

I beat my wife and she immediately divorced me.

Some people take Monopoly way too seriously.

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly

[Removed]

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

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My son didn't cope well with going to jail...

He refused to eat or drink anything.

He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own poop.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

I played monopoly once and landed on every spot on the board except for one...

I never stood a chance.

I just found a monopoly set without instructions.

What are the chances?

The weird thing about the game Monopoly

Is that only one company can make it.

What does Monopoly and this sub have in common?

Both keep reusing the same ideas and people still buy it.

If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.

No, they'd be *way* higher.

I played Monopoly with my family, and I won easily, but it wasn't that fun

I like being mentally challenged

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A Redneck walks into a stripclub with Monopoly money.

When asked to leave he said "They got fake boobs, so I'ma use fake cash!"

I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said...

M'nopoly.

Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly?

It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.

I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board...

I thought, I'll give it a Go.

Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly?

Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody

My brother got sent to jail

He wasn't taking it very well, and got quite angry. He started destroying houses in my street and finally stopped when he got to the hotel.

That's the last time I play monopoly with him.

There is Deadpool Monopoly, Sea World Monopoly, Simpson’s Monopoly....

It’s like they monopolized the board games industry

I’ve been in jail for 5 minutes and I’ve already been beaten twice

I hate playing monopoly with my dad

When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board.

It was a little gamey.

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny resp...

My wife keeps cheating

At monopoly, her boyfriend is pretty good though

Never in my life have I seen so much corruption, bribery, bIackmail, jealousy, theft, fraud, deception, and outright bloodshed.

And honestly I'm wondering why I even play Monopoly with my family in the first place.

I've been in jail 3 times and filed for bankruptcy

I hate playing Monopoly

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NSFW. My cousin took jail really hard.

The moment he got in he started swearing and fighting with everyone and even smeared his own shit all over the walls.

That's the last time we ever played monopoly with him.

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I was invited to a party full of vegans, but I wasn't there for very long.

We all sat down on the floor. Somebody brought out Monopoly, Frustration, Scrabble, Chess, Risk, Uno, Checkers, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit and Connect Four.

Everybody in the room suddenly turned to me. The guy that had brought in all these games said, "So, which one shall we play?"

"Erm,...

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Wife caught me cheating.

My wife ran out the room last night, she turned and screamed at me, 'And you know what? You've gone too far this time.....we're finished!! You're bankrupt and the way you wander round the streets so aimlessly, it's a suprise you don't one day end up in prison!'' But babe...' I said, taking a step ...

When it comes to board games about buying real estate...

Hasbro really has the Monopoly.

My wife caught me cheating with her cousin. She totally overreacted and left the house

She caught me passing extra monopoly money to her.

I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for...

She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.

My wife found out I was cheating with her sister.

She’s never playing Monopoly with us again.

Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."

The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of feces on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invite...

What’s the EU’s least favourite game?

Monopoly

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I cheated on my girlfriend once.

I cheated on my girlfriend once, we were playing monopoly and I took money from the bank when she wasn't looking.



Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister.

A group of Nuns opened a Flower Shop.

The Nuns started selling small bouquets, and after some success moved on to larger arrangements. Their business grew enough that they were eventually the only place in a ten kilometer radius to sell flowers; and gathered a monopoly on the market.
One day, a couple of Friars opened another green...

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A buddy of mine got sent to jail

A buddy of mine got sent to jail and completely lost his shit as soon as he got there. 30-seconds in, he punched another guy, that guy went down, and a huge fight broke out. There was a lot of blood, a lot of swearing, and the whole time my buddy was just swinging wildly and shouting absolute nonsen...

A guy walks into a Bar

And asks for a beer.


The bartender: 'do you want a normal beer or a no-alcohol?'


'It depends. Do you want normal money or Monopoly's?'

My husband cheated

I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.

Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.

My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out...

Best game of Monopoly ever!

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Sent to Jail.

After getting sent to jail, I spent the next hour being held face down over a table and getting violently fucked up the arse.

Sometimes I think my uncle Brian takes Monopoly a bit too seriously...

I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.

It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls...

I'll never play Monopoly with him again.

Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble...

And every day, I tell him we're sold out.

Can't he buy Monopoly instead?

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My wife always cheats when we play board games

Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor.

A man pushes a car to a hotel and suddenly loses all his fortune....

He stopped at the enemy’s hotel in Monopoly.

My brother took being sent to prison really badly.

He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.

That was the last time we played monopoly.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating...

... so I admitted, that yes, I had in fact been cheating on her and was instead sleeping with her sister. We broke up the next day.

It's a shame really we were only playing Monopoly.

I caught my wife cheating with the neighbor last night

They are both banned from being the banker during monopoly game night now.



That will teach them to sleep together.

Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse.

Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy.

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An American and an Irishman order a beer at a bar.

The Irishman pulls out his money to pay and the American notices that the bills are all different colours.
"Who the fuck makes your money, Monopoly?" he asks sarcastically.
The Irishman looks over and responds "Who the fuck makes your beer, Kool Aid?"

My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret.

She's never going to play monopoly with me again!

Idea for a board game

BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having two wives

An Economist beautifully explained two reasons for having two wives:
A - Monopoly should be broken
B- Competition improves the quality of service..
If you have one wife she fights with you, if you have two wives they will fight for you
Feel the difference lol

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Saw someone post this on Facebook. Got a kick out of it.

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity
generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water
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