Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn’t valid anymore.

There’s free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.

What do you call the opposite of a monopoly?

A polypoly

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My brother didn't cope well with going to jail.

He refused to eat or drink anything. He swore at everyone and covered his room with his own poop.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

The artist named “Feat” has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.

Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breakin...

My girlfriend uses the same strategy in monopoly as she does in our relationship

She just keeps cheating

I hate monopoly! My dad always beats me!

Its probably because I always win.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Having anorgasmia feels like playing Monopoly

You never finish.

My wife caught me cheating while we were playing monopoly

She dropped the dice and saw me fingering her sister

I went to an Old McDonald's the other day, and they aren't promoting Monopoly anymore.

Now it's B.I.N.G.O.

There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly

[Removed]

I've decided to make a Sharia version of Monopoly.

It's the same basic board, except if you're a woman you're not allowed to own property.

And if any of the other players accuse you of cheating, you're out of the game, no questions asked.

Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely?

Welcome to the shutdown...

What is Mark Zuckerberg's favorite VR game?

Monopoly

If I had a dollar for everytime some one complained about monopoly addiction

I could put a hotel on all my properties.

I just found a monopoly set without instructions.

What are the chances?

I was investing in Monopoly games

Until I realized that there is no real money in them

Why did ABBA play monopoly empire?

So that they could take a Chance on ME.

Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly?

It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.

I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board...

I thought, I'll give it a Go.

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and smeared the walls with his own feces.

After that, we never played Monopoly again.

So Hasbro made a Fortnite Monopoly...

But ironically it's for ages 13+.

If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world.

No, they'd be *way* higher.

I’ve been playing Bonopoly this evening.

It’s like Monopoly, but the streets have no name.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redneck walks into a stripclub with Monopoly money.

When asked to leave he said "They got fake boobs, so I'ma use fake cash!"

I’ve been in jail for 5 minutes and I’ve already been beaten twice

I hate playing monopoly with my dad

I caught my wife cheating. This isn’t the first time. I have asked her to leave the family home. I have filled for divorce and will ask for full custody of the kids and the dog. I thought 2020 couldn’t get much worse.

Hopefully this is the last time she steals monopoly money, when playing as the banker.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sam got thrown out a Strip club for using monopoly money.

Sam's logic - Why I should pay real money to see fake boobs.

What does Monopoly and this sub have in common?

Both keep reusing the same ideas and people still buy it.

I can't find a nice girl who wants to play Double Entendre Monopoly with me.

They all leave after collecting $200.

The weird thing about the game Monopoly

Is that only one company can make it.

I played Monopoly with my family, and I won easily, but it wasn't that fun

I like being mentally challenged

My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his feces on the wall.

I don't think we'll play Monopoly with him again.

Scrabble, monopoly and cluedo were sitting around the bedroom feeling sorry for themselves

They hadn’t been played with in a long time and were feeling particularly frustrated and listless. They wanted something to do but just didn’t know what to do and so sat there with a mood on, not feeling happy at all.

Human 1 and human 2 came into the room and human 1 picked up monopoly and ...

I played monopoly once and landed on every spot on the board except for one...

I never stood a chance.

I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said...

M'nopoly.

My husband is a cheater, he beats me, and whenever I touch his property, he says, "I'm going to make you pay."

I don't want to play monopoly with him anymore.

Why did the synagogue ban Monopoly?

Because the fights over who got to be the banker were getting bloody

I have no title

If you ever feel useless, just think about the mortgage feature on Monopoly deeds.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After landing myself in jail I spent the first 4 hours getting ass fucked senseless…

I think my uncle takes playing monopoly far too seriously!!!

When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board.

It was a little gamey.

When playing a game against a less skilled player, it’s considered fair to give them a handicap.

That’s why I always break my opponent’s kneecaps before a game of Monopoly

why is soviet game night so bad?

no one wins at monopoly

My neighbours have been married 20 years

Unfortunately, I've heard them have the same argument a lot lately


Him: You're cheating! Don't deny it, I can see through your behaviour!


Her: Well you beat me all the time, and I've had enough!


Maybe they should play something other than Monopoly...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wife caught me cheating.

My wife ran out the room last night, she turned and screamed at me, 'And you know what? You've gone too far this time.....we're finished!! You're bankrupt and the way you wander round the streets so aimlessly, it's a suprise you don't one day end up in prison!'' But babe...' I said, taking a step ...

I just witnessed my brother getting stabbed in jail...

Yeah, my family takes Monopoly pretty seriously.

I beat my wife and she immediately divorced me.

Some people take Monopoly way too seriously.

My wife keeps cheating

At monopoly, her boyfriend is pretty good though

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was invited to a party full of vegans, but I wasn't there for very long.

We all sat down on the floor. Somebody brought out Monopoly, Frustration, Scrabble, Chess, Risk, Uno, Checkers, Yahtzee, Trivial Pursuit and Connect Four.

Everybody in the room suddenly turned to me. The guy that had brought in all these games said, "So, which one shall we play?"

"Erm,...

What’s katerino’s favorite board game

Monopoly Cheaters Edition

I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for...

She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW. My cousin took jail really hard.

The moment he got in he started swearing and fighting with everyone and even smeared his own shit all over the walls.

That's the last time we ever played monopoly with him.

I've been in jail 3 times and filed for bankruptcy

I hate playing Monopoly

I play many board games with my girlfriend. But she always wins the board games.

she has monopoly

My husband cheated

I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.

Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.

What is the equivalent of being a model at Instagram?

Being a millionaire in Monopoly.

My wife caught me cheating With her cousin. She totally overreacted and left the house.

She saw the extra Monopoly money I was passing her under the table.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A buddy of mine got sent to jail

A buddy of mine got sent to jail and completely lost his shit as soon as he got there. 30-seconds in, he punched another guy, that guy went down, and a huge fight broke out. There was a lot of blood, a lot of swearing, and the whole time my buddy was just swinging wildly and shouting absolute nonsen...

A guy walks into a Bar

And asks for a beer.


The bartender: 'do you want a normal beer or a no-alcohol?'


'It depends. Do you want normal money or Monopoly's?'

Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."

The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of feces on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invite...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I cheated on my girlfriend once.

I cheated on my girlfriend once, we were playing monopoly and I took money from the bank when she wasn't looking.



Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sent to Jail.

After getting sent to jail, I spent the next hour being held face down over a table and getting violently fucked up the arse.

Sometimes I think my uncle Brian takes Monopoly a bit too seriously...

When it comes to board games about buying real estate...

Hasbro really has the Monopoly.

A man stopped his car opposite a hotel and immediately knew he was bankrupt.

He was playing Monopoly

A group of Nuns opened a Flower Shop.

The Nuns started selling small bouquets, and after some success moved on to larger arrangements. Their business grew enough that they were eventually the only place in a ten kilometer radius to sell flowers; and gathered a monopoly on the market.
One day, a couple of Friars opened another green...

My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out...

Best game of Monopoly ever!

My brother got sent to jail

He wasn't taking it very well, and got quite angry. He started destroying houses in my street and finally stopped when he got to the hotel.

That's the last time I play monopoly with him.

Never in my life have I seen so much corruption, bribery, bIackmail, jealousy, theft, fraud, deception, and outright bloodshed.

And honestly I'm wondering why I even play Monopoly with my family in the first place.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My wife always cheats when we play board games

Just last night, we were all playing Monopoly in the den and she was next-door fucking the neighbor.

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...

Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny resp...

My brother took being sent to prison really badly.

He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.

That was the last time we played monopoly.

I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.

It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing feces on the walls...

I'll never play Monopoly with him again.

Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble...

And every day, I tell him we're sold out.

Can't he buy Monopoly instead?

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.