Bush Jr., Obama, and Trump are standing before God...

God begins by asking Bush: "George, in what do you believe?"

Bush: "I believe in free trade and the USA as a strong nation".

God, seemingly impressed: "You may sit to my right".

Then God looks at Obama and asks "Barack, in what do you believe?".

Obama: "I believe in democ...

What's the difference between salmon and the American democracy?

Salmon can be cured.

What’s the difference between terrorism and democracy?

Whether the United States is attacking or being attacked.

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.

They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state.

What’s the difference between democracy and feudalism?

With democracy, it’s your vote that counts. With feudalism, it’s your count that votes.

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There was once a really smart bee.

Ever since he was little, he had always wanted more than the simple, boring lives led by his fellow bees. After a few years, he left his job, his hive, and his family behind, in search of a better life.
He flew for hours until he came to a small Virginia town, on the edge of a forest. He landed, ...

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two old men are arguing about history and the spendors of athens and rome.

the Greek man says "Look, all I'm saying is that the Greeks invented everything the Romans get credit for!"

The Italian says "Yes, may be, but the Romans improved it and made it useful!"

The Greek man says "We invented the Democracy!"

The Italian says "We realized the challenge ...

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Boris Johnson walks into a pub...

Boris Johnson walks into a pub and asks for a pint. The barman draws it & throws it into his face. 'Why did you do that?' 'You asked for a pint, but you didn't say how you wanted it delivered.' Boris: ‘I'll have a pint in a pint glass.' 'No. You can't ask again.' 'Why not?' 'Democracy.'

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy...

But won't cross the street to vote.

Democracy in Russia

I bet you were expecting more.

US democracy is the envy of the world...

It is the greatest that money can buy.

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They voted on pizza.

Then I took all their pocket money, spent it all on booze and blamed my ex-wife for their predicament.

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Richard's new job

Richard just got a new job on a small shipping vessel. He shows up for his first day and the first mate puts him to work loading crates onto the ship. He finishes a few hours later and they get underway. Richard is put to work and is kept busy all day. After dinner, he approaches the first mate and ...

I have an idea

I vote we get rid of democracy

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democracy EL5

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom spends the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of you, the people and your b...

Democracy obviously doesn't work.

I mean, I was voted "most likely to succeed" at High School.

What do you call a nomadic democracy?

A Roman Republic

We sent prince harry to Afghanistan. Because when you want to teach them about democracy, you send them a prince.

...to shoot at them from a helicopter.

The great thing about democracy...

....is that it gives every voter a chance to do something stupid

Teacher: Today's topic is DEMOCRACY Teacher: What is Democracy?

Students: Today's topic.

What are the two best arguments against democracy?

Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton

A wise alien elder told the younglings around it: "Democracy seems great..."

...until you have been to the Planet of Walls.

God and it's Presidents

God recently was looking for humble person, who in an unselfish way with great self-knowledge could help God on Earth make America great again.

Bush, Obama and Trump was invited and went for the job interview with God

God asks Bush: “What do you believe in?” Bush answers: “I believe in...

Why isn't China a democracy?

Because then they'd have to hold erections.

Why is it a bad idea for China to become a democracy?

Do you know how hard it would be to orchestrate a national erection

The Chinese have the best Democracy in the World

They have tiny elections every few hours.
;) if you know what I mean

Trump's first day at the Oval Office after being elected President

First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.

CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.

Trump: The Democrats created them.

CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you w...

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Japan is not a Democracy. It's a Constitutional Monarchy.

They don't have big erections.

US Presidents remake the US in their image

DDE: Pave the country so all people can drive to see Nature.

JFK: Lofty sounding speeches, but nasty family history, and conspiracies abound; unusual relationship with Hollywood. Violent gun-related death that is not the fault of guns.

LBJ: Very proud of his wounds, will show them to ...

Politics in terms of cows

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The state takes a high portion of the milk they produce to be redistributed.

COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The State takes both of them and you have to get into a bread line for food instead.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The State will kill you if you don't...

In Soviet Russia, they don’t play The Floor is Lava...

They play The Floor is Democracy

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The Two Cow Philosophy

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neigh...

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Two Cows

**Edit: Just to make it clear, I am not taking credit for the joke(s). I just merely found it/them whilst browsing around and thought you guys would appreciate it/them.**



SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour



COMMUNISM

You have 2...

American's won't stand for Russian interference..

"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"

Burger King: Have It Your Way!

Burger Dictatorship: Have it My Way!

Burger Communism: Have it Everyone's Way!

Burger Capitalism: Have it Your Way For a Steep Price Hike!

Burger Oligarchy: 1% Have it Their Way!

Burger Democracy: Have Something Your Way!

Burger Anarchy: Don't Have It!

Bibi Netanyahu is traveling

The clerk asks him "name?"

he answers, "Benjamin Netanyahu."

the clerk asks "occupation?"

"WE WON IT IN A DEFENSIVE WAR AND ISRAEL IS THE ONLY DEMOCRACY IN THE MIDDLE EAST!!!!"

The leaders of the Big Three after the conference in Yalta

After WW2 in 1945 the leaders of the Big Three(USA, UK and the Soviet Union) respectively Roosevelt, Churchill and Stalin met in Yalta for a conference to decide the fate of the world.

After the conference they wanted to have some fun. They decided to try and make the Persian cat in the resid...

Kids' thoughts.

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? --Age 15



Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a gr...

What is enjoyed if it is wanted and hated if its not?

Democracy

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