The history of human evolution is confusing...

There’s so many *Homos*, it’s hard to keep them all straight.

What do you call people who don't believe in evolution?

Primate change deniers

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

Watching dragonball evolution is like having a watch on your belt

its a waist of time..

Creationist have often made me question evolution

But probably not in the way they think

Evolution tells us we’ve evolved from apes.

I’m pretty sure we’ve evolved from crabs. You know why? Have you ever held a pair of tongs and NOT clicked them together? I rest my case.

Why was God hesitant to implement his evolution idea?

He worried it would defeet the porpoise.

What was Zelda looking for in the evolution?

The missing Link

EVOLUTION VS. CREATIONISM

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..

The father answered, "Many years ago there were mon...

There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today.

If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon.

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

Creation vs. Evolution

After a sermon on creation, a curious young boy asked, "Dad? How did we get here?"
"Remember God created EVERYTHING in six days. On the sixth day, he scooped up some dust and made Adam. He took one of Adam's ribs and made Eve. They had kids and their kids had kids and so on, so that's how we'...

I'm reading a book on evolution...

The beginning wasn't great, but it's getting better over time.

Some people just don't understand evolution.

I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin!

All credit to Milton Jones for that one.

DE-EVOLUTION

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

Meanwhile, at the Zoo...

... a gorilla is reading. He's holding a Bible in one hand and a book on evolution in the other.

​

**What are you doing, gorilla?**

​

"I'm trying to decide if I am my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother".

Wife is missing

Husband:
My wife is missing.
She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know...

Bless us, oh Lord...

An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What a powerful river! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The New New Math....

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tel...

I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs...

It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.

I had this phone conversation the other day.

Me: “Consider this: like, right now, as we speak, there are human beings, like you and me, living in outer space. How crazy it is that we, as the human race, have collectively gathered the resources and technology required to haul dozens of tons of materials, entire habitats, up 350 thousand kilomet...

A little girl goes to her father... (long)

"Dad, where do we come from?"


The father replies, "Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."


The girl, seemingly perplexed, then g...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Luke cage

In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof.

But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

A creationist puts his glases on and says:

"Evolution can't be real, just look at the human eye!! It's too perfect to be just chance!"

An illiterate Father went camping with his highly educated Son...

As they walk through the wildness the son boasts about how being educated makes him appreciate nature, evolution, etc. To which the father just shrugs and continues along.

When they reach their camping site, they set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Unable to sleep properly, the father w...

Why do creationists prefer FIFA to PES?

Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin.

Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

Dinner with Girlfriends parents..

Ambitious boyfriend visits a chemist store to buy some condoms for the evening..

The store owner recommends him some new flavoured and textured codoms and the guy talks at length with him on the evolution of condoms and finally buys a pack of six..

Upon reaching his girlfriends place i...

Daddy where do people come from?

Young boy is curious and asked his father where people come from
dad says "well son it goes way back to Adam and eve and they were mother and father to everyone"
Young boy still confused asks his mother
"Mommy where do people come from?"
She responds with "well after years of evolution w...

True Chuck Norris Encounters

A priest, a rabbi, and a potato farmer walk into a bar. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks them all in the face because he already knows this joke won't be funny enough.

A reporter once asked Chuck Norris why he decided to shave his beard. He responded, "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you...

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is a creationist's favorite button in pokemon?

B to cancel evolution

A fish lies on the ground outside of his tank, dead.

The two remaining fish in the tank talk to each other:

"What happened?!"

"I don't really know... He just yelled 'EVOLUTION!' and jumped out."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Sherlock and Watson go camping... (reposted from the intelligent jokes thread)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping in the woods one night during an investigation. As they lay out under the stars, Holmes asks Dr. Watson a question...

"Watson!" Holmes said imperiously. "Look at the stars and tell me what you can deduce." Watson sighed, recognizing one of Holmes' fr...

What's the best way to fix a horse race?

Evolution.