EVOLUTION VS. CREATIONISM

A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?"

The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.."

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question..

The father answered, "Many years ago there were mon...

Who has two thumbs and is pro-evolution?

Not horses

Thankfully evolution gave us ears a million years ago...

Now we finally get to use them to wear masks.

I can prove evolution wrong..

Humming birds have existed for thousands of years and they haven't learned the words yet.

The history of human evolution is confusing...

There’s so many *Homos*, it’s hard to keep them all straight.

The evolution of tide pods

In 2017 tids pods cleaned clothes but in 2018 it cleans the gene pool

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.

As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to see a seven-foot tall grizzly bear charging right at him! He ran back up the path, with the bear close behind. His heart was pumping frantically as he tried to run faster. he looked over his shoulder as the ...

Evolution has its hand in

Everyone’s genes

What do you call people who don't believe in evolution?

Primate change deniers

The history of boy bands proves the theory of evolution

They all descended from The Monkees.

A lot of people think humans having opposable thumbs contributed greatly to our evolution, but I don’t know...

...I think we just have a better grasp on things.

Did you guys see Eevee's new flying-type evolution in Sword and Shield?

It's called Pigeon.

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The theory of evolution states that all species are related to a common ancestor

So no officer I dont think its "disgusting" that I'm dating a raccoon

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Evolution of bowel issues

The evolution of communication about stomach issues with your significant other:

Dating: Sorry, I can’t go out. I don’t feel so well tonight.

Engaged: I need to stay home honey. My tummy hurts.

Newlyweds: Ohhh. I don’t think that food agreed with me. I’m not feeling so well. Ta...

Evolution tells us we’ve evolved from apes.

I’m pretty sure we’ve evolved from crabs. You know why? Have you ever held a pair of tongs and NOT clicked them together? I rest my case.

Polar bears used to be brown but through evolution, they turned white

because Police were shooting them



\-Mark Normand

Eevee's Evolutions

If you hit Eevee with a Fire stone, it becomes a fire type. If you hit it with a water stone, it becomes a water type. If you hit it with a leaf stone, it becomes a Grass type. But if you hit Eevee with a normal stone, it becomes a Ghost type.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went to rescue people from the flood yesterday and has not come home ...

Sergeant at Police Station:
What is her height?

Husband:
Gee, I'm not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant:
Weight?

Husband:
Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant:
Color of eyes?

Husband:
Sort of brown I think. Never really ...

A father and son are watching a documentary about evolution...

...the boy had already watched this episode and was viewing it again carefully as he found it a bit confusing as to what the different prehistoric animals were evolving into. He recalled this episode ended with an ant-like insect becoming a crustacean-like animal. By the end he said 'Ep seen, did an...

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

Creationist have often made me question evolution

But probably not in the way they think

Why was God hesitant to implement his evolution idea?

He worried it would defeet the porpoise.

How is evolution and a Union construction job similar?

They take so long that some people don't believe they don't work.

I'm reading a book on evolution...

The beginning wasn't great, but it's getting better over time.

What’s the difference between a politician and a dog?

About 85 million years of evolution.

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The New New Math....

I purchased a burger at Burger King for $1.58. The counter girl took my $2 and I was digging for my change when I pulled 8 cents from my pocket and gave it to her. She stood there, holding the nickel and 3 pennies, while looking at the screen on her register. I sensed her discomfort and tried to tel...

Watching dragonball evolution is like having a watch on your belt

its a waist of time..

Some people just don't understand evolution.

I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin!

All credit to Milton Jones for that one.

DE-EVOLUTION

At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.

A joke I will always love

In the distant future when interstellar space travel is common place, scientists are traveling through galaxies to find life on other planets. On one planter many light years away, they find a giant granite statue statue of a man in a squatting position. Upon close inspection they find this statue i...

Meanwhile, at the Zoo...

... a gorilla is reading. He's holding a Bible in one hand and a book on evolution in the other.



**What are you doing, gorilla?**



"I'm trying to decide if I am my brother's keeper, or my keeper's brother".

Creation vs. Evolution

After a sermon on creation, a curious young boy asked, "Dad? How did we get here?"
"Remember God created EVERYTHING in six days. On the sixth day, he scooped up some dust and made Adam. He took one of Adam's ribs and made Eve. They had kids and their kids had kids and so on, so that's how we'...

There's a secret evolution of Eevee I found today.

If you pay your Eevee every day for at least a month, it evolves into Patreon.

A country singers truck

With the evolution of self driving cars it’s not gonna take long before a country singers truck leaves him as well as his wife.

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Luke cage

In marvels luke cage everyone thinks that luke has super powers because he's bullet proof.

But bullet proof black people isn't a super power it's straight up evolution.

An illiterate Father went camping with his highly educated Son...

As they walk through the wildness the son boasts about how being educated makes him appreciate nature, evolution, etc. To which the father just shrugs and continues along.

When they reach their camping site, they set-up their tent and fell asleep.

Unable to sleep properly, the father w...

I heard that dolphins have vestigial legs...

It would seem evolution defeeted the porpoise.

Dinner with Girlfriends parents..

Ambitious boyfriend visits a chemist store to buy some condoms for the evening..

The store owner recommends him some new flavoured and textured codoms and the guy talks at length with him on the evolution of condoms and finally buys a pack of six..

Upon reaching his girlfriends place i...

I had this phone conversation the other day.

Me: “Consider this: like, right now, as we speak, there are human beings, like you and me, living in outer space. How crazy it is that we, as the human race, have collectively gathered the resources and technology required to haul dozens of tons of materials, entire habitats, up 350 thousand kilomet...

Daddy where do people come from?

Young boy is curious and asked his father where people come from
dad says "well son it goes way back to Adam and eve and they were mother and father to everyone"
Young boy still confused asks his mother
"Mommy where do people come from?"
She responds with "well after years of evolution w...

A little boy asked his father :" where did human kind came from ?"

The father answer :" at the begining, the god created eve and adam, and they start to give birth slowly till we become that many".
The kid didn't get convenced.. he went right to his mother and asked her the same question ..
The mother answer :" at the begining, there was small animals live...

A little girl goes to her father... (long)

"Dad, where do we come from?"


The father replies, "Well, a long time ago, God decided that he would create Adam, and then a wife for him Eve, to live here on earth. He allowed them to live here and have children and we come from them."


The girl, seemingly perplexed, then g...

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Netflix's new show is Marvel's Luke Cage, whose "Superpower is unbreakable skin.

Bullet proof skin on a black man isn't a super power its straight up evolution!

-Danish Anwar

Why do creationists prefer FIFA to PES?

Because PES is Pro Evolution Soccer.

[Punchline wanted] Charles Darwin, Jean-Baptiste Lamarck, and Jerry Lewis walk into a bar. To their surprise, the bartender is a monkey.

Lamarck notes that the monkey's arms have become long from reaching for bottles on the high shelves. Darwin disagrees, saying that the monkey got the job because it was born with long arms. Jerry Lewis looks at the both of them, and says…

Sorry, SimLife couldn't get a needed punch line.
...

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Sherlock and Watson go camping... (reposted from the intelligent jokes thread)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping in the woods one night during an investigation. As they lay out under the stars, Holmes asks Dr. Watson a question...

"Watson!" Holmes said imperiously. "Look at the stars and tell me what you can deduce." Watson sighed, recognizing one of Holmes' fr...

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What is a creationist's favorite button in pokemon?

B to cancel evolution

What's the best way to fix a horse race?

Evolution.

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