This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My husband and son getting competitive while playing games.

Husband said “I fucked your mom”

To which the son replied “I have been deeper inside her than you’ll ever be”

Where do people injured playing competitive peek-a-boo go when they're hurt?

The ICU

My wife and I often laugh about how competitive we are..

..but I laugh more.

Competitive

A guy walks up to me and asks if I do recreational drugs. I told him "no I only do competitive ones".

The crematorium industry is super competitive

You gotta urn your keep

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Americans and The Japanese

The Americans and the Japanese decided to engage in a competitive boat race. Both teams practiced rowing hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day the Japanese won by a mile.

The American team was discouraged by the loss. Morale sagged. Corporate management decided that th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Due to the pandemic casual sex among young adults has been in decline

But ranked competitive sex has risen

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three old men, 70, 80, and 90 years young, sat on a park bench for a chat.

During their conversation, the topic of sleep schedules and bodily functions comes up. Of course, being a competitive group, each one feels the need to have the most significant problems.

The 70 year old says, "I wake up at 5 AM every morning and need to pee urgently, but I have to stand th...

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

Why do Narcissists quit competitive High Jumping just when they get good at it?

They can never get over themselves.

Competitive lumberjacking will never be a sport as it isn't a matter of skill

It just comes down to whoever has logged the most hours

Being on lockdown together has made my wife and me really conscious of how competitive we are. We've been having a good laugh about it!

(I laugh more than she does, though.)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The existence of casual sex infers the existence of competitive sex, and since none of you have competed

You're all fucking casuals

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I never thought I'd be in the competitive world of long-distance ejaculation

And now look how far I've come.

I took a job with a "competitive salary".

In the end, the salary beat me to the ground.

My friend just became the World Champion in competitive origami.

He’s great at folding under pressure.

Sometimes my wife laughs at how competitive I am

But I just laugh back. More. And louder.

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I've had 3 years of casual sex

I guess I'm finally prepared for competitive sex.

My dad was so Competitive that on his death bed, as he breathed his last

He said, "Staring contest... GO."

What do you call a competitive athlete thats not very good

A try athlete

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