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Girl: "Come over"

Guy: "I'm coming over"

Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over for dinner

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to "do it" for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic but he has never done it before so he goes to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for over a...

A blonde called her boyfriend and said, Please come over here and help me

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She...

A janitor at my work asked me to come over and smoke weed with her!!

I told her No. I can't stand high maintenance women.

When people come over to my house they always tell me I have a nice ceiling

I don’t think it’s the best but it’s up there.

My girlfriend called me and said "come over, nobody's home." So I went over.

Nobody was home.

A hot girl texted me "Come over, no one's home"

So i went over...
And no one's home

Ophelia: "Babe, come over."

Hamlet: "I can't. I'm hiding a body."

Ophelia: "My dad's not home."

Hamlet: "I know."

Girl: Come over

Guy: Can’t

Girl: No one’s home

Guy: *goes there*


No one’s home.

Come over

A guy and a girl had been flirting for sometime.

One day the girl says “come over there’s no one at home”

So the guys quickly goes to the girls house and starts ringing the doorbell. He knocks and rings the doorbell again several times but... nobody answered

My neighbours want me to come over for a threesome

I told them I might be bi later.

He motioned her to come over with a wiggle of his finger.

As she walked over he turned to his friend and said, see I can make a woman come with just one finger.

We had a trans friend come over for Christmas this year

He said he can’t wait to eat, drink and be Mary

Me: you want to come over tonight?

Her: Sure. But I’m still on mg period until Tuesday...

Me: So?? I’m really offended that you think it’s all that I’m looking for!

Her: You’re right. Sorry about that.

Me: Never mind just give me some time to cool off.

Her: Ok

Me: I‘ll just talk to you on Tuesday.

My landlord yelled at me today because my heating bill is through the roof and that he's going to have to come over soon to discuss a solution.

I told him my door is always open.

"Hey son, come over here!"

"You're getting it all over your bedsheets."

Michael J. Fox asked James Bond to come over for dinner one night.

Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. "What'll ya have?" he asked.

"I'll have a Martini," Bond replied.

"How do you want it?" Michael J. Fox asked.

"Shaken, not stirred."

"Oh, thank God."

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I had a problem with my computer yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"

He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."


I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fi...

The Pope dies and stands in front of the gates of heaven.

St. Peter looks at him confused:" Who are you? I don't know you." The Pope says" I'm the Pope, the holy father". Peter scrolls through his holy book " Pope, Pope, holy father..... nope, not in here". Now the Pope is confused "But I'm God's representative on earth." Peter says " Pease wait a minute" ...

Come over to the Nerd side...

We have Pi.

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Two little boys had a redneck cousin come over to spend the night.

While they were playing in their fort one of the boys accidentally stepped in the redneck cousin's finger. The redneck cousin said OW MOTHERFUCKER GET OFF MY FINGER!

The two boys had never heard that word before and asked about it. Redneck cousin explained that was the cool adult word that ev...

OMG!!! I was sitting in the Nordstrom bathroom stall

And had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said “Hi! How are
You??”. Embarrased, I said “I’m fine?”. The voice continued “So what are you up to??” I said “Just sitting here like you!” Then the voice says “Can I come over??” Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I sa...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Wanna come over to my place and watch a porno?

On my flat screen mirror.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If EA was a female prostitute, she would charge you $80 to come over

Then show up wearing 50 dresses and charge you for each one that you take off

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I asked a few of my mates to come over to my place to see the big match.

When they arrived they were all really confused. You should have seen how scared they got when I lit the bastard.

Why are Ukrainian women the best women to date?

No matter how many times you come over, she keeps Putin out.

My wife texted "I'm leaving you"

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."

I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."

I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand job"

A m...

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A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in downtown Dublin, when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

"Hey, show us yer tits, ya bloody penguins !" shouts one of the drunks.
Quite shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculata and says, "I don't think they know who we are. Show them your cross."

Sister Mary Immaculata rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off, ya fookin' little...

I got really sick at the gate to my plane and a nearby doctor had to come over and check me out

He gave me a terminal diagnosis.

[Math] Hey girl, want to come over and integrate?

Unfortunately, After every time we ∫e^x I am left with an e^x

A very handsome man gets into a terrible car accident....

The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.

The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him...

I paid a fish to come over to re-key my guitar, piano and drums.

He was a professional tuna.

A $50 Lesson

A $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?' ...

So I'm at the nuclear missile facility and my boyfriend texts me "Hey Anna, wanna come over? ;)"

The general asks me for target coordinates for a missile launch so I do a search.

Using satellite imaging, I find the perfect spot and fire straight away.

Me: "General, we've launched a nuclear strike at these coordinates."

He looks at me in extreme confusion.

General: "W...

I have such bad luck getting a girl to come over...

I watched the video from "The Ring" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A psychology professor starts his lecture by telling the students:

"Today we'll learn about the three stages of human emotion: surprise, irritation, and rage."

With that, he takes his phone out of his pocket, puts it on speaker, and dials a random number.

"Hello, may I please speak to Dave?" says the professor when the other person answers.

"No...

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