Come Over Jokes

Guy: "I'm coming over"

Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner. The girl tells her boyfriend that she would like to "do it" for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic but he has never done it before so he goes to the pharmacist to get some protection. The pharmacist helps the boy for over a... read more

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.”

Her boyfriend asked, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?”

The blonde said, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.”

Her boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle. She... read more

I told her No. I can't stand high maintenance women.

I don’t think it’s the best but it’s up there.

Nobody was home.

So i went over...
And no one's home

Hamlet: "I can't. I'm hiding a body."

Ophelia: "My dad's not home."

Hamlet: "I know."

Guy: Can’t

Girl: No one’s home

Guy: *goes there*


No one’s home.

A guy and a girl had been flirting for sometime.

One day the girl says “come over there’s no one at home”

So the guys quickly goes to the girls house and starts ringing the doorbell. He knocks and rings the doorbell again several times but... nobody answered

I told them I might be bi later.

As she walked over he turned to his friend and said, see I can make a woman come with just one finger.

He said he can’t wait to eat, drink and be Mary

Her: Sure. But I’m still on mg period until Tuesday...

Me: So?? I’m really offended that you think it’s all that I’m looking for!

Her: You’re right. Sorry about that.

Me: Never mind just give me some time to cool off.

Her: Ok

Me: I‘ll just talk to you on Tuesday.

I told him my door is always open.

"You're getting it all over your bedsheets."

Being a polite host, he offered Bond a drink when he arrived. "What'll ya have?" he asked.

"I'll have a Martini," Bond replied.

"How do you want it?" Michael J. Fox asked.

"Shaken, not stirred."

"Oh, thank God."

St. Peter looks at him confused:" Who are you? I don't know you." The Pope says" I'm the Pope, the holy father". Peter scrolls through his holy book " Pope, Pope, holy father..... nope, not in here". Now the Pope is confused "But I'm God's representative on earth." Peter says " Pease wait a minute" ... read more

We have Pi.

And had just sat down when a voice in the next stall over said “Hi! How are
You??”. Embarrased, I said “I’m fine?”. The voice continued “So what are you up to??” I said “Just sitting here like you!” Then the voice says “Can I come over??” Thoroughly annoyed and somewhat alarmed at this point I sa... read more

No matter how many times you come over, she keeps Putin out.

And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."

I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."

I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand job"

A m... read more

He gave me a terminal diagnosis.

Unfortunately, After every time we ∫e^x I am left with an e^x

The doctors save his life, but he loses one eye. Before a nice glass one can be fitted, he is temporarily given a wooden eye.

The man becomes very depressed because of his eye loss and sits at home, moping around. Eventually his friends come over and drag him out to a bar to try and cheer him... read more

He was a professional tuna.

A $50 Lesson

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?' ... read more

The general asks me for target coordinates for a missile launch so I do a search.

Using satellite imaging, I find the perfect spot and fire straight away.

Me: "General, we've launched a nuclear strike at these coordinates."

He looks at me in extreme confusion.

General: "W... read more

I watched the video from "The Ring" and the creepy chick called seven days later and said something came up and she couldn't make it.