Today I learned Italians have more than 250 specific hand gestures to communicate non-verbally, I asked my German friend if they had anything like it in Germany..

He said they have one but they are not allowed to use it

How do the two billboards communicate?

Sign language

My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with legumes.

Jack and the beans talk.

How do sea animals communicate?

With shellphones

Why do vegans only communicate with each other online?

Because they never meat

How do elephants communicate over long distances?

By elephone.

My wife complained that my life revolves around Facebook and it has destroyed the way we communicate.

So I've blocked her.

What do you call a set of wires that like to communicate moral based children’s stories?

Aesop’s Cables

How to communicate effectively with your teenage son as an anti-vaxxer:

1. Ouija Board

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two deaf people get married and are confused on how to communicate about sex.

The wife says with sign language,"Now that we're married, we need a quick way to communicate whether we want to have sex or don't want to have sex." She thinks for a moment,"Okay when you want to have sex, pinch my right nipple. When you don't want to have sex, pinch my left nipple."

The hu...

Why couldn't the fighter jet pilot communicate with his co-pilot?

He hadn't broken the sound barrier yet.

My girlfriend has been ignoring my attempts to communicate with her. I think she has been ghosting me for several weeks now all because I asked her to send nudes.

So I said screw it, I’m done trying to communicate and threw out my Ouija board.

Back in the 60s,my little brother thought he could communicate with the trees and i used to think he had some mental issues...

That is until i was drafted to Vietnam

You know, people are always telling me how I dont communicate right or dont understand emotions.

You know what i say to that?

Kiss my ASPERGERS!

(Joke curtousy of my Autistic coworker and good friend)

An astronaut was trying to communicate with the control room but the connection kept breaking up.

Annoyed, he yelled out "What on Earth are you talking about?".

Using a Ouija board, I tried to communicate with the dead. It spelled out "Ah ah ah yeah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"...

Must have bought a Bee Gee board by mistake...

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A recently married deaf couple were discussing how they were going to communicate in the bedroom with the lights off.

The husband said "if you want to have sex pull my dick once if you don't want to have sex pull it 358 times".

How do an American and Russian communicate without a translator?

Using Korean.

What did Canadians use to communicate during the various wars they fought?

Moose Code.

How does Thanos communicate?

Snapchat

How do people in Wisconsin communicate with each other?

Using a Milwaukee talkie.

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

How do trees communicate?

They bark.

So, as everyone knows, two different species (flavors) of cheerios cannot mate, right?

That is, if one is honey-nut and another is blueberry, they cannot mate. Anyway, there is this one normal cheerio that is in love with a blueberry cheerio. Unfortunately, he cannot mate with her. He can't even communicate with her because they are of different species. So, he invents a machine that ...

How to communicate with God

A poster is found in all French churches. The translation is:

"By entering this church it may be possible that you hear "the call of God". However, it is less probable that He will call you on your mobile. Thank you for turning off your phones. If you want to talk to God, enter, choose a qui...

An old woman was being interviewed regarding her pending divorce...

An old woman was being interviewed regarding her pending divorce. The judge asked, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About a four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with a stream running by."

"No," he said. "I mean what is the foundation o...

The first time I went to an English speaking country I was told "Never say the N-Word or people gonna kick your ass"

It's been hard to communicate since nobody told me what is the N-Word.

I gave my mute classmate a blackboard to communicate...

But he still won't chalk to me.

Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

How did the inmates communicate to their families after visiting hours?

Cell phones.

How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?

With a Nor-Ouija board.

What did the Hershey’s bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate?

S’mores Code

What language does a Southerner use to communicate with a Mexican?

Espan-*ya'll*.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A deaf couple just got married

The wife signs to her husband "we need a way to communicate in the dark. When you want are in the mood, touch my left breast, if not, touch my right breast."

The man responded by signing back "ok sounds simple. I have something similar. If you are feeling frisky pull my penis one time, if not...

What device did God use to communicate with millennials?

A tablet.

But not from Apple.

How do you communicate with a fish?

You drop him a line

How do prisoners communicate?

CELL-phones

How to blackboards communicate?

They chalk to each other

How did the Scandinavian countries communicate during WW2?

Norse code

What language did the Viking secret service use to communicate in secret?

Norse code.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend is a therapist. Last night we were going to play video games and he said he was having trouble getting one of the game controllers to communicate with the receiving node.

I told him they should use "I" statements.

How does Mario communicate with Boos?

He uses a Luigi board.

If your mom could communicate with the dead

she would be an extra large.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The King of all the gorillas was having a yard sale

The king of all the gorillas, mister Kong, was having a yard sale. He decided to sell his items collected over the years of roaming in the forests. He had been lowering his sale prices over the course of the day as fewer and fewer people were coming by.

Finally, one passer by came to buy his...

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

Mahatma Ghandi walked bare foot most of his life...

...which left his feet very rough and calloused over. He also believed in living within ones means, so he ate only what was necessary to survive. This left him very skinny and frail. People also believed Ghandi to have magical abilities, considering him to have the abilities of a seer or even commun...

How do skeletons communicate?

A cell bone.

*just got it off a popsicle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mail order bride and the butcher . . .

A rich, American man had bad luck with women and finally decided to find a mail order bride from Russia. She arrived a few weeks after his order was made, and they got married and lived happily in a rich Connecticut suburb.

Though the poor lady was not very proficient in English, she did mana...

That’s one amazing chimpanzee..

A widow walks into a pet store and approaches one of the sales reps, “My husband died recently and I’ve been feeling really lonely. Do you have any recommendations for a pet to keep me company?”

The sales rep says “What about a dog?”

“No no no, I’ve already had a dog and they’re a lot ...

A Mafia Leader Is Robbed By One of His Foreign Non-English Speaking Associate

The leader figures out who stole the money and hires a translator in order to properly communicate.

Leader: So you're the one who had the guts to steal my money?

Translator (proceeds): He said he didn't do it.

Leader: Tell him to cut the bulls*** and tell me how much he stole....

My parents are both mimes, but they’ve recently filed for divorce.

They just don’t communicate.

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