How do viking ships communicate with each other?

Norse code

I'm gonna keep making these jokes until one blows up

How do pigs communicate?

Swine language

How did Vikings communicate over telegraph?

Norse Code

How do two stars communicate?

They make light conversation...

I’ll see myself out...er space.

(If it’s been done before, sorry; I literally just thought of it, lol.)

How does Mario communicate with his recently deceased sibling?

Luigi Board.

My grandfather could communicate with ghosts, who would often ask him about his clothes sizing.

He was a medium.

How do sad people communicate?

Morose code.

I feel so bad for the deaf people who need to read lips to communicate, because of all of the face masks right now.

Let's give them all a moment of silence.

What's used to communicate between Hades and Olympus?

A Persephone.

Did you hear about the woman who went down on the dude with a painted face who only used his hands and facial expressions to communicate?

It was mime-blowing

How do Knights communicate ?

Chain mail

How does a deaf gynecologist communicate with his patients?

He reads lips

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I have a rare medical condition where I can only communicate after I orgasm.

I just came to tell you that.

A woman says to her lawyer "I want to divorce my husband."

‟On what grounds?”

‟Grounds? We have two acres at the edge of town with a big lawn and some fruit trees.”

‟No, that's not what I meant. Do you have a grudge?”

‟Yes, we've a two car garage but only one car so we use the rest for storage.”

^(getting exasperated) ‟Does he be...

My friend Jack claims that he can communicate with legumes.

Jack and the beans talk.

Today I learned Italians have more than 250 specific hand gestures to communicate non-verbally, I asked my German friend if they had anything like it in Germany..

He said they have one but they are not allowed to use it

When Trump communicates with the American people, he follows the primary rule of mushroom farming . . .

# "Keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em horsesh*t".

What do you call a serious of dots and dashes that Vikings used to communicate with?

Norse Code

Two spies got caught using a book code to communicate

Clearly they weren't on the same page.

Why do vegans only communicate with each other online?

Because they never meat

How do priests with a lisp communicate?

They use faithtime.

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A deaf couple are struggling to initiate sex...

A deaf couple is struggling to initiate sex in the dark of night, so they decide to sit down and communicate a work around.

The wife starts writing on a notepad, “If you want to have sex with with me, squeeze my left breast once, and if you don’t want to have sex with me squeeze my right bre...

How do the two billboards communicate?

Sign language

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A man asks a farmer if he can work for a night's lodging and a meal.

Farmer gets a knock on his door, it's a man in his mid-thirties who looks like he's been traveling a while. The man asks if he could earn a meal and a place to stay for the night.

"Do you have any skills?" The farmer asks.

"Well, I do have a rare gift -- I can communicate with animals....

How do elephants communicate over long distances?

By elephone.

Student: Can I borrow a pencil?

**Teacher:** I don't know, can you borrow a pencil?

**Student:** Aha, but I clearly meant to ask for permission. Since you and the rest of the class understood my intent perfectly well, and the word "may" to show permission is rapidly falling out of fashion, there is nothing wrong with asking...

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Your life pursuit

Long ago in a distant land an explorer and his large team of bearers, trackers, hunters, cooks, handymen, translators and so on came upon a village of people never before known to the outside world.

Luckily the translators were able to communicate with the people and soon the explorer was tal...

My wife complained that my life revolves around Facebook and it has destroyed the way we communicate.

So I've blocked her.

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Two deaf people get married and are confused on how to communicate about sex.

The wife says with sign language,"Now that we're married, we need a quick way to communicate whether we want to have sex or don't want to have sex." She thinks for a moment,"Okay when you want to have sex, pinch my right nipple. When you don't want to have sex, pinch my left nipple."

The hu...

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A Russian lady married an English gentleman and they lived in London .

She was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy chicken legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, so, in desperation, clucked l...

How to communicate effectively with your teenage son as an anti-vaxxer:

1. Ouija Board

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My girlfriend has been ignoring my attempts to communicate with her. I think she has been ghosting me for several weeks now all because I asked her to send nudes.

So I said screw it, I’m done trying to communicate and threw out my Ouija board.

Back in the 60s,my little brother thought he could communicate with the trees and i used to think he had some mental issues...

That is until i was drafted to Vietnam

Why couldn't the fighter jet pilot communicate with his co-pilot?

He hadn't broken the sound barrier yet.

In honor of Sir Sean Connery (2 of 2)

James Bond is sitting at the bar doing a vodka martini, shaken not schtirred, when he notices a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar.

He glances at his watch, looks up and gives her a knowing wink.

Intrigued, she walks over, smiles and says, "What was that all about? Why did y...

You know, people are always telling me how I dont communicate right or dont understand emotions.

You know what i say to that?

Kiss my ASPERGERS!

(Joke curtousy of my Autistic coworker and good friend)

How to communicate with God

A poster is found in all French churches. The translation is:

"By entering this church it may be possible that you hear "the call of God". However, it is less probable that He will call you on your mobile. Thank you for turning off your phones. If you want to talk to God, enter, choose a qui...

Using a Ouija board, I tried to communicate with the dead. It spelled out "Ah ah ah yeah, stayin' alive, stayin' alive"...

Must have bought a Bee Gee board by mistake...

How do people in Wisconsin communicate with each other?

Using a Milwaukee talkie.

An astronaut was trying to communicate with the control room but the connection kept breaking up.

Annoyed, he yelled out "What on Earth are you talking about?".

How do trees communicate?

They bark.

How does Thanos communicate?

Snapchat

Murphy does it again.

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.

After arriving in Paris, he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new...

How did pirates communicate before the internet?

Pier to Pier Networking

What did Canadians use to communicate during the various wars they fought?

Moose Code.

Long distance relationship

A woman and a man met on Tinder and began a long distance relationship. They would communicate everyday but their distance was always 1548km apart. Eventually, the woman could no longer bear the distance apart and asked for a break up. The man said nothing. The next day, the woman noticed the distan...

Why did the medium cross the road?

To communicate with those on the other side.

I gave my mute classmate a blackboard to communicate...

But he still won't chalk to me.

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It’s World War II, just before dusk. And a Native American Code Talker named Grey Beaver was running for his life...

Author's note - Wrote this from memory. When you tell this joke in person, act out the stuff in brackets.

\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_

It’s World War II, just before dusk. And a Native American Code Talker named Grey Beaver was running for his life from a German patrol. One of the benefi...

How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?

With a Nor-Ouija board.

Which app does Thanos use to communicate with half of the universe? (Infinity War Spoilers)

Snapchat

How did the inmates communicate to their families after visiting hours?

Cell phones.

What did the Hershey’s bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate?

S’mores Code

How do you communicate with a fish?

Drop him a line.

What device did God use to communicate with millennials?

A tablet.

But not from Apple.

What language does a Southerner use to communicate with a Mexican?

Espan-*ya'll*.

Divers

How do divers communicate? They use speech bubbles

You mean WHAT?

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending
divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?"
She replied, “About four acres and a nice little home in the
middle of the property with a stream running by.”
"No," he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this...

How to blackboards communicate?

They chalk to each other

How do prisoners communicate?

CELL-phones

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My friend is a therapist. Last night we were going to play video games and he said he was having trouble getting one of the game controllers to communicate with the receiving node.

I told him they should use "I" statements.

If your mom could communicate with the dead

she would be an extra large.

What device does Mario use to communicate with the dead?

A Lou-ouija board.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hammer time

John the ranch hand is told to team up with Annie the young college girl helping out over the summer. They have been meanding fences in the foothills for a few days so they've got a donkey with them with a tool pack and supplies strapped on its back since the terrain is too rough to get a vehicle ...

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