I went to the cannibal restaurant the other night and the waitress gave me the cold shoulder.

It came with rice and a salad.

After days of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, Larry finally confronted her.

"Admit it," he said. "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me a million dollars."

"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left the money with you."

What did the cannibal’s wife do when her husband came home late for dinner?

She gave him the cold shoulder

I found my ex girlfriend’s dead body at the morgue I work at

She’s still giving me the cold shoulder.

You know the worst part about taking a corpse out on a date?

They're quiet they always give you the cold shoulder and always seem pretty stiff when it comes to paying the bill.

I was in Gotham the other day and had dinner with Mr Freeze...

...hes not much of a conversationalist though, all he did was give me the cold shoulder

[Long] They were twins, a guy, Ving, and a girl, Ling. Both very good friends of mine.

One day, Ving asks if I would do him a favour. I said, “Sure”. He asks me to drive him to the city hall after work. He says he wants to change his name to something more American.

I agreed. So after work I'm driving Ling and Ving to the city hall, and I see Ling is giving Ving the cold should...

Why was the Pirate sad when his parrot left him?.

It gave him the cold shoulder.

You might be a necropheliac if...

Shout out to Jeff Foxworthy for the inspiration. Here we go.

You might be a necropheliac if...

Your version of tinder is the local obituaries.

You have detailed knowledge of the security setup of every funeral home and cemetery in your city.

The contents of your trunk i...

Three cannibals were invited to a party

One was an hour late and all he got was the cold shoulder. The other two each had a ball.

I tried to make some slow cooked pork today

But I forgot to plug in the crock pot before I left for work.


It really sucked coming home to my wife giving me the cold shoulder.

Why was the necrophiliac depressed?

His lovers were always giving him the cold shoulder.

I don't think my cannibal friend likes me...

I asked him for some baked thigh meat, but he just gave me the cold shoulder

I don’t understand how in the movie Frozen, Anna didn’t know that Elsa had magical powers, even though she was locked in her room for years and refused to come out

After all, she was clearly giving Anna the cold shoulder

I got invited to a cannibal's luncheon last week, but I showed up about 30 minutes late.

They gave me the cold shoulder.

I was freezing out in the middle of the woods when I stumbled upon a mean-looking hunter sat by a campfire...

He was roasting his fresh kill feet first and the smell had me salivating for a bit of that tasty grub.

He gave me a dirty look and made it clear he didn't want to share any.

I begged him for a bite to help me warm up but he just gave me the cold shoulder.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Dave and a group of cannibals were going to have a meal...

They brought him to a room where a cooked body was. It had been sitting there for a while. One of the cannibals immediately took both hands, as he liked the taste of them. Two cannibals took a leg each. Another one took the head and so on...

Finally there was only one body part left. Dave eye...

What did the Cannibals Anonymous group say to Dave when he showed up an hour late to their weekly meeting?

Nothing. They just gave him the cold shoulder.

Snowman puns to celebrate the snowstorm in my area

What do vampires get when they bite snowmen?
"Frostbite"

What is a snowman's favorite cereal?
"Snowflakes"

Why didn't the snowman answer the question?
"He didn't snow the answer"

What does a snowman like to ride?
"An icicle"

How can you tell a snowman is angry...

Recent fashion trends...

certainly have given women the cold shoulder, haven't they?

A young man decides to get dressed up and go to the local bar

He gets a nice new suit, a haircut, a good shave, and walks into the bar feeling pretty confident. Unfortunately, all the women at the bar are giving him the cold shoulder treatment.

He looks across the bar and sees an old guy who's really fat, balding, wearing some cruddy jeans and white t-...

What do you get when an ice-cream truck breaks down on the side of the road?

A cold shoulder.

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