Chicks Jokes

The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny.

The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barny... read more

Bartender: "Yes, that's been our policy for years! Here's your check."

Two chicks walk into a bar. One says to the other,"Have you ever heard of the Bechdel test?" The other says,"Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day."

Sweeping generalizations.

While at his favorite bar, he manages to attract one rather attractive looking blonde. So they’re back at his place, and sure enough, they go at it. After a long while, he climaxes loudly.

Then he rolls over, lights up a cigarette and asks her, “So…. you finish?”

After a slight pause... read more

He got the money for nothing, and the chicks for free.

Because he had a small pecker

...They were walking when they noticed two girls getting naked in a nearby pond. One kid bolted the other way and the other one chased after him. "Why did you leave man! That was the prime opportunity for us to see naked chicks!" Then the other kid said "well, my mom said if I ever see a naked girl... read more

At least I know I'm sane.

One day, she is resting in her nest with the youngest of her two chicks when her son says to her, “Mom, why does my brother’s beak look so much different than mine?”

“I was always worried you’d ask about that eventually,” replied the mother. “I might as well settle this now. What I’m about to... read more

A scrawy guy has a hard time attracting women on the beach....so he goes to the life guard and asks for advice and the lifeguard tells him "Next time...wear a speedo 2 sizes small and drop a potato inside" the guy decides to follow the advice

The next day...the scrawny guy comes back and all... read more

Because his number couldn't fit in their phones

Apparently this is pretty common. My wife had the same thing. She said her doctor couldn’t figure it out.

I get bullied at school.

Oh well.
No harm, no fowl.

You can drop them off anywhere.

The mother hen said to them “If your father knew how bad you were he’d turn over on his rotisserie.”

One day a horse and a hen are playing in a field. The horse gets stuck in a puddle of mud, and starts to sink. The hen is frantically searching for anything to help her friend, so she decides to go back to the barn. There, she grabs the keys to the farmer’s Mercedes and drives to where the horse is ... read more

All of a sudden chicks in my area are no longer interested in me.

Last night I was having some wings and beer with a coworker after work. There were these two pretty, but kinda fat girls drinking at the bar and being loud. They had what I could have sworn was a Scottish accent.
I'm a big fan of girls from the UK, so I struck up a conversation. I asked them, "So... read more

Both don't work out.

They're Really Fun To Ride Until Your Friends Find Out

A chick's a little cheeper

Down with the Thiccness

With a broom.

A horse and a chick go for a walk. The horse gets stuck in the mud and yells to the chick to help me I’m stuck. The chick runs back to the farm to get the farmer but the farmer has gone to town with the tractor. So the chick sees the new BWM and grabs a rope and jumps into the BMW and drives to the ... read more

He notices that there is another little guy sitting by himself who is doing much better. Every hour or so a different girl walks up to the little guy, starts talking and they soon leave together.

The first guy turns to the bartender and asks "Why does he have all the luck. There is nothing s... read more

I'm calling it chicks with dixies

To keep the flies off the food

They usually shower after three periods.

...when he sees one wearing a Kansas City Chiefs jersey.

He walks up to her and says, "Hi. My name is 21 Point Lead."

The woman laughs and replies, "That's not your name!"

The guy says, "You're right, but I figured anyone wearing a Chiefs jersey would blow a 21 point lead."

A tractor

(Maybe you'll have to say it out loud)

You know what they say, it's always cheaper to buy in bulk.

He asked, "What about your wife?"

I replied "Nah, she's married"

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, “My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to the market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road. The basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke.” The moral of the... read more

Hard to get, and when you do they are not anywhere near as good as you thought they would be