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Bunny Jokes

The Test

This joke was told to me 20 years ago by a friend of my Dad’s.

The President of the USA decides to run an exercise to test the effectiveness of the CIA, the FBI and the LAPD with a simple task - a bunny rabbit will be let loose in a designated forest and he will send in one agency at a time ...

The Little Research Lab Bunny Rabbit

One morning at the research lab, an assistant accidentally left a cage open while cleaning and a little bunny rabbit escaped when he wasn't looking. The little bunny rabbit followed the assistant out of the room, down the hallway, and right out the door.

The little bunny rabbit looked around...

Energizer Bunny

Why did the Energizer Bunny get arrested?

Battery....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear that the energizer bunny died of a sexual malfunction?

Someone put the battery in backwards and it just kept cumming and cumming.

Know why Mrs. Bunny likes Mr. Bunny?

Because he always Easter out.

Lady brings a bunny into a vet's waiting room.

A woman walks into a vet's waiting room. She's dragging a wet rabbit on a leash. The rabbit does not want to be there. "Sit, Fluffy," she says.

Fluffy glares at her, and sopping wet, jumps up on another customer's lap, getting water all over him.

"I said sit, now there's a good Fl...

I remember being a kid and my parents filling my head with nonsense, like Santa, the Easter bunny and the Tooth Fairy.

Well now that I’m older I don’t fall for that rubbish anymore, thank God.

They took the duracell bunny into custody

He was charged with battery.

Elmer Fudd and Bugs bunny are planning to rob a distillery.

Bugs asks Elmer “if it is whiskey”? Elmer replies, “yes, but not as whiskey as robbing a bank”!

Bugs Bunny meets a chiropractor

For the first time ever, somebody called the chiropractor "doc."

Bugs Bunny goes to a medical convention

He meets a cardiologist, and says "what's up, doc?"

He meets a dentist, and says "what's up, doc?"

He meets a chiropractor, and says "what's up?"

I saw a little boy at the bus stop eating a giant chocolate Easter bunny. I said, "Hey kid, eating that much chocolate at one time is bad for you." He looked me in the eye and said, "Well, my grandpa lived to 103."

"Oh, really? Did *he* eat a lot of chocolate?"

"No, he minded his own damn business."

**Edit:** Credit where due -- [/u/samvet21 informs me](/r/Jokes/comments/8cnjvk/i_saw_a_little_boy_at_the_bus_stop_eating_a_giant/dxhf9ku/) that the original joke was by Philadelphia comedian [Todd Gl...

A bear opens up a grocery store in the woods

A bunny walks in the store and goes to the bear.

“Mr. Bear, mr. bear do you have strawberries?”

“No I don’t” responded the bear.

A few minutes pass and the bunny asks again.

“Mr. Bear, mr. bear do you have strawberries?”

The bear confused responds.

“You just...

What do you call a bunny that steals?

A Grabbit

The bunny jogging

A bunny is running through the forest and he meets a hedgehog, who's smoking a joint, so the bunny says:

"Hedgehog noo, don't do it, drugs are dangerous, come to run with me in the forest!"

The hedgehog convinced by the bunny runs with him.
They run and they meet a bluetit w...

What's a good place to find a wild bunny?

Its Natural Rabbitat

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Two bunnies are walking in the woods......

Two bunnies are walking in the woods. They're approached by a large bear. The bear says, "Do you guys have any problems with crap sticking to your fur?" Bunny #1 says to bunny #2, "Back away very slowly...... I know how this joke ends!"

Elton John got his pet rabbit a treadmill for Xmas.

It's a little fit bunny.

What's a bunny joke without bunnies?

Not a very bunny one.

What happens if you put the Energizer bunny's batteries backwards?

He keeps on coming, and coming, and coming...

The little bunny.

A little bunny hops into town, hops into the bakery, hops up to the baker and asks, "Do you have any cookies with fish in them?" "No," said the baker, "but I have some wonderful oatmeal and chocolate chip cookies." "No thanks!" said the bunny, and he hops out of town.

The next day the little ...

The Easter Bunny joined the Olympics

He heard first place gets 24 carrots.

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The parents want to get rid of the family's pet bunny.

A family has a pet rabbit, but their son and daughter fail to do their part when it comes to cleaning its cage etc. and so the parents decide to quietly kill off the bunny and tell the kids that it ran away. So that's what they do, and since it's a well-fed bunny and they don't want to let all that ...

What does the Easter Bunny listen to while hiding eggs?

Hip hop.

Why does Bugs Bunny like Lola Bunny so much?

She's a friend with bunny feets.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why does the Easter Bunny hide its eggs?

It doesn't want anyone to know it's fucking a chicken.

A bunny walks into the bakery.

There he asks the baker if he has any carrot cake.

The bakers says: ‘no, I don’t sell carrot cake.’

So the bunny leaves, but returns the next day. He once again if the baker has any carrot cake.

Once more the baker answers: ‘no, I don’t sell carrot cake.’

Once the bunny...

The Easter Bunny walks into a bar. The Bartender says, "I suppose you want a White Rabbit." The Easter Bunny says,

"I don't care, just give me something hoppy."

Our top story tonight, The Energizer Bunny Has Died..

It appears that someone installed his batteries backwards and he kept coming and coming and coming and ..

Bunny

A little girl walks into a pet shop. She asks the owner for a bunny, to which he responds "what kind of bunny would you like? A cute black one, an adorable brown one or perhaps a sweet little white one?"

The girl looks at the owner and answers: "I don't think my python really cares..."

What's the Easter Bunny's favorite beer?

A double IPA because of it's high alcohol content he can get drunk quick, after dealing with those kids all day.
Oh... the the fact that it's extra hoppy is just a bonus!

What does Bugs Bunny put on his intergalactic PB&J sandwich?

Space jam.

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?

They lived hoppily ever after.

Why did the bunny work in the brewery?

he knew a lot about hops

What's the difference between a healthy rabbit and a sick joke?

One is a fit bunny, the other is a bit funny.

Apparently, Elton John owns a pygmy rabbit that is super hyper and runs all the time.

It's a little, fit bunny.

A Bunny Story..

Once upon a time there was a man who was peacefully driving down a windy road. Suddenly, a bunny skipped across the road and the man couldn't stop. He hit the bunny head on. The man quickly jumped out of his car to check the scene. There, lying lifeless in the middle of the road, was the Easter Bunn...

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An elephant and a bunny are sitting in the forest, taking a dump

"Say bunny", asks the elephant. "Dosen't it bother you when shit gets on your fur?".
"No, not at all" the bunny answers.
So the elephant grabs the bunny and wipes his ass with it.

I got a baby bunny today.

I had to swerve pretty hard to do it, but I got him!

What crime was the Energiser Bunny guilty of?

Battery

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am sad to announce that the Duracell bunny has died...

...from sexual exhaustion. Someone put his batteries in backwards, and instead of going and going and going he kept on coming and coming and coming...

What did Bugs Bunny say after beaming aboard the Enterprise?

What's up Spock?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Magic bunny!

A young texan cowboy is riding along his property when he spots an injured rabbit struggling to free itself from some wire mesh it's stuck in. He's about to put the furball out of its misery when the rabbit says:

"Wait!! I'm a magic bunny! If you free me and let me go, I'll grant you one wish...

Why did the white bunny get accused of cultural appropriation?

Because he was into hip-hop.

Who is the Easter bunny’s favorite philosopher?

Heidegger

What happened when the Energizer bunny's dad went out for cigarettes?

He just kept going and going and going.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A little girl goes into a pet shop and says 'One wabbit pwease'

"Aww" says the shopkeeper "would you like the little brown bunny, the fuzzy white bunny, or this cute spotted fella here?"

"I don't fink my pwython gives a fuck" the girl replies.

What do you call someone who isn't sure if the Easter Bunny is real?

An Eggnostic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bear and Bunny

One day, a bear and a bunny are fighting. A genie appeared before them and said I will offer you each three wishes if you stop fighting. They both agreed.
For the first wish, the bear wanted all of the bears in his forest except for him to be female. The bunny asked for a motorcycle.
For the s...

As kids, we were gullible enough to believe in fictional characters we never see like Santa and the Easter Bunny. As adults, we know better...

Thank God.

What kind of whisky does a bunny drink?

Hop Scotch.

What do you call a molecule with the structure bunny-O-bunny?

An Ether Bunny!

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A bear and a bunny are taking a shit in the forest.

The bear asks the bunny if it ever has issues with shit sticking to its fur.
The bunny haughtily replied that it "most certainly did not."
The bear says "Lucky.", then picks up the bunny and wipes its ass with it.

The adopted bunny

An infant rabbit was orphaned. Fortunately though, a family of squirrels took it in and raised it as one of their own. This adoption led to some peculiar behaviors on the part of the rabbit. It had a tendency to scurry up trees like its step-siblings instead of hopping along the ground. And it ate a...

How did Bugs Bunny find out his girlfriend was cheating on him?

She coughed up a hare ball.

Did you hear they arrested the Energizer bunny?

Yeah, assault with a battery.

Apparently he just kept going on the guy.

I hear they're charging him.

Bugs Bunny walks into a hospital

He asks his doctor “What’s up, doc?”

The doctor replies “Your blood pressure, Bugs.”

“And if I don’t get it sorted out?”

The doctor, visually distraught, answers: “That’s all, folks.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road

He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.
The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see
what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is the Easter Bunny, and he is DEAD.
The driver ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Bunny Wabbits

A little girl steps into a pet shop, walks up to a sales associate, and says, "I would wike to buy a wabbit, pwease.."

The woman takes one look at the little girl, and her heart melts. The child had big, bright eyes, a little button nose, pig tails - she's cuter than Shirley Temple. She scru...

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A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a beach

A man with no arms and no legs is sat on a beach when he spots three playboy bunnies walking by him. They all spot him and feel bad for him so they try to cheer him up.
The first playboy bunny walks up to him and says; "Have you ever been hugged?" The man shakes his head so she gives him a hug.<...

The Energizer bunny got arrested today!

He was arrested for battery.

This was a joke I posted on Facebook 7 years ago.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?

Fucks Funny

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Deep into the woods there was bunny rabbit, hopping and prancing,

when he saw a monkey about to drop acid, so he yelled

"STOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP, THAT'S BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH COME JOIN ME HOP THRU THE FOREST".

So the monkey said fuck it, let's do it rabbit.

So the monkey and the bunny where prancing through the woods when all of a sudden, saw a giraff...

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Jungle Bunny

There's a rabbit walking through the jungle, and he comes upon a monkey and the monkey's rolling a joint.
The rabbit says, "Hey, monkey, I love you, man, don't smoke that stuff. Enjoy life with me and come through the woods."
So the monkey follows. They're walking through the woods and they se...

Why does the Easter Bunny drink IPAs?

He loves the hops.

Gotye had a bunny, but it ran off one day.

Now he's just some bunny that he used to know.

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