MY FAVORITE FILM IS THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME.

I love a protagonist with a twisted back story.

Also I've heard that Notre Dame is lit af...

It has been a year since Notre Dame burned down and they still do not know how it started,

but Quasimodo has a hunch...

Apparently they’re going to erect a statue in memory of Dame Vera Lynn ...

Don’t know where, don’t know when

As I'm sure you're all aware, the Notre Dame Cathedral is on fire.

They don't know who did it, but they have a hunch.

What do you call the device that controls the bells in Norte Dame?

Quasi-modem

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moe’s Saloon in the Old West was seeing a lot of customers lately...

It was getting busier and busier by the day, so much so that there was barely a seat left in the whole joint. The hotshots were playing poker, the 49-ers were drinking and cat-calling the dames. The piano was playing, the whiskey was flowing, everyone was having the time of their lives. Suddenly, th...

April 15, 2019 is the date the Notre Dame cathedral....

Ex-spired.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is organizing a marathon to raise money for the rebuild of Norte Dame...

... It's slogan is ...

'Run with me if you want to give'

In honor of the Notre Dame fire, here is the only Notre Dame joke I know...

Notre Dame is looking for a new bell ringer, so they put out a help wanted ad in the local paper.

After a few days a man with no arms shows up and inquires about the job.

At first the priest tries to let him down politely when the man insists that they bring him up to the tower s...

The police don’t know who started the fire at Notre Dame,

But Quasimodo has a hunch.

Alternate punchline: but they’ve got a hunch back at the station.

After Quasimodo died, Notre Dame Cathedral needed a replacement bell ringer, and after several fruitless months a strange little man approaches one of the priests...

"I'd like the bell ringer job if it's still available." says the man. Confused, the priest says "Of course, but I'm afraid there might be some confusion. I can't help but notice that you don't have any arms, so ringing the bells would be quite impossible." The little man smiles and says "I come from...

Notre Dame went from gothic architecture..

To French baroque.

Eventually, Quasimodo dies and the Bishop immediately decides to hold auditions for the position of Notre Dame's bellringer.

After all, nobody lives forever. The bishop posted flyers all over Paris and the French countryside in the hopes that somebody, anybody could be half as good as Quasimodo was.

At the end of the day after a long week of holding auditions for disappointment after disappointment, the Bishop i...

Notre Dame joke: A priest advertises a job to ring the bell at Notre Dame and the only applicant is a hunchback with no arms...

The priest asks "How can you do the job? You can't pull the rope!" Hunchback: "I have a plan - but we have to go to the top of the tower to where the bell is." So they climb all those stairs to the top of the tower. The priest says "Ok, what's your plan?"

The hunchback runs and jumps at the b...

Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.

And there’s notre dame thing they can do about it.

My friends keep calling me the hunchback of Notre Dame

Its not about my posture though, it's cuz my house burned down.

One more friendly reminder about the Notre Dame cathedral catching fire...

Consequently, it has become the world's hottest tourist attraction though.

Macron said the rebuild of Notre Dame will take 2 Years and he will get the Germans to do it

Because they finished a thousand year Reich in just twelve years.

No wonder the Catholic church needed to raise so much money for Notre Dame.

Insurance companies won't pay for "Acts of God" claims on a church.

The Catholic Church are asking for donations to help rebuild Notre Dame.

You can donate via Papal

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So Quasimodo is fed up of being the bell ringer of Notre Dame and wants to quit...

He puts an ad out in the newspaper,

"NEW BELL RINGER NEEDED FOR NOTRE DAME CATHEDRAL, TRIALS THIS SUNDAY AT THE BELL TOWER".

Sunday comes around and Quasimodo is waiting patiently at the base of his tower. No one has turned up and he's losing faith that anyone will before the Sunday s...

What do you think happened to the renovation guy in Notre Dame?

He probably got fired.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As Notre Dame burns, a terrified Quasimodo climbs higher and higher to escape the flames

but of course the poor creature is hopelessly trapped, and the crowd gathering below yell "Jump, Quasimodo! Jump!"

Quasimodo jerks his thumb over his shoulder, yells "Harroo hink hirris, a hucking harra hoo?" and climbs still higher.

Again the flames pursue him, and again the crowd...

Want to hear my joke about the Notre Dame?

Actually you wouldn't, I kinda ruined it trying to fix it.

As the fire fighters were rushing into Notre Dame, an angry man stopped them at the door.

"Excusemoi monseuir! Entry is €12"

I am seeing a lot of posts about Notre Dame

I guess it's a hot topic

The cell phone manufacturer Motorola has developed a new phone and is going to donate all sales proceeds to help fund the rebuilding of Notre Dame.

They’re calling it the QuasiMotorola.

We could have the Notre Dame rubble cleared up in a day...

Just tell the priests there’s an underaged boy trapped somewhere under it.

I always wanted to be the first person in the world to release a mixtape in the Notre Dame

But sadly someone else already dropped some fire there.

Residents of Paris complaining of foul smell from burning wood in Notre Dame.

Because . . . . pew. (too soon?)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

There once was a man who went by the name of The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Every morning and every afternoon he would go to the top of his tall bell tower and ring the bell. But he was getting old and it was getting too hard on his body. So he decided to put up advertisements for a new bell boy.
<...

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.

After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day.

Just then, an armless man approached him and announced that he wa...

A new bell-ringer at Notre-Dame...

Since the passing of Quasimodo, Notre-Dame has needed a new bell-ringer. The priests held auditions for an entire day, but no one could quite live up to the task. Near the end of the day, when they were ready to call it quits, a man with no arms approached them.

"Hi, I'd like to audition to b...

Quasimodo needs to retire...

Quasimoto had been working for many years ringing the bells at Notre Dame and had decided it was time to retire. He placed a want ad to hire a replacement but as neither the pay nor the working conditions were very good, some time passed without any response.

One evening he heard a knock at...

What do terrorists, and a filming of The Hunchback of Notre Dame have in common?

They were both shot on location.

I don't remember all the characters' names from "The Hunchback of Notre-Dame"

but Quasimodo rings a bell.

A detective in Paris is conversing with the hunchback of Notre Dame about a murder committed the previous night

Detective: Well, who do you think did it?

The Hunchback of Notre Dame: I have a hunch.

Do you know how to make Notre Dame style eggs?

You put them in a bowl way too big for it...and then beat repeatedly for 3 hours

Whats green and gets smoked in bowls?

Notre Dame

What's the difference between the Notre Dame Fighting Irish and Charlie Sheen?

Charlie Sheen's winning.

Quasimodo applies for a job at Notre Dame...

...with his younger brother, Semimodo. They meet the Prelate high up in the bell tower.

The Prelate says "why should I hire you Quasimodo?"

He replies "because I can ring the bell better than anyone! And using only my face!"

"Show me," says the Prelate, whereupon Quasimodo ...

What does a Notre Dame fan do after his team beats the Roll Tide?

Turn off the xbox and go to bed...

so the hunchback of notre dame died yesterday

and so today they are looking for a new guy to ring the bell.So they interviewed a few guys until the very last one but they were shocked to see he had no arms or legs so they asked "how are you going to ring the bell". He said "easy ill use my head" so they hired him and the next day he rang the be...

Quasimodo Part 2

After Quasimodo’s funeral the next Sunday, his identical twin brother Farsimodo that no one knew he had was so distraught that he vowed to take up his brother’s mantle. Realizing that the funeral got out right before he had to ring the bells for the first time, he made a mad dash for the spires of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Irishman has been shipwrecked and stranded on an island for over 20 years. [MEDIUM]

One day, on his daily walk of the beach, he sees something way out in the ocean. At first he couldn’t make out what it was, as it got closer, he could see something red.

Finally, it was close enough to determine that the red was actually the hair of a woman. A very pretty dame in her 20s. ...

The Golden State Warriors just suffered the second biggest sports collapse to date...

First probably has to go to Notre Dame.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Al the Irish jokes I've heard - Irish this sub a happy St. Patrick's Day!:

* What do you get when you cross a 4 leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
* What do you call a fake Irish stone? A shamrock.
* Why shouldn't you iron a 4-leaf clover? You'd be pressing your luck.
* What instrument did the diva musician play on St. Patrick's day? Brag-pipes....

Beavers get a lot of flak for building their shelters and blocking water ways-

But they are Damed if they do, and Damned if they don't

Now that Lucasfilm is owned by Disney . . .

Will ILM be removing the Notre Dame Cathedral from the Hunchback cartoon?

A rather old one.

Two NFL coaches were looking a rosters when one of them came across an unusual name.

"Quasimodo? Why does that name ring a bell?"

His friend said, "He was at Notre Dame... a halfback."

Quasimodo's had it.

Sixty years climbing the steps. Sixty years ringing the bell. He's ready to retire, get a little house in the country for him and the little lady. Puts an ad on Craigslist "Bell ringer wanted. Inquire Quasimodo, Notre Dame."

Next day, there's a knock at the door. Quasi opens it, looks ou...

I see your multilevel meta joke and raise you a two-tiered joke.

Quasimodo was in the steeple of Notre Dame looking down on the town when he noticed a man running to the ladder of the steeple. There was something odd about the man, but from a distance, Quasimodo couldn't distinguish what it was. The man climbed the ladder, and it was evident - he had no arms. ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Win this jar of money!

A guys walks into a bar after a long day at work. On the bar, he see a jar full of money, all twenties. On it it says "Win this jar of Money! Just ask the Bartender." He asks, "Hey, what's up with this jar?"

"Oh, well you have three tasks I would need you to finish and you can win all that mo...

A detective story

An old joke I remember from working retail, works best with the pauses that I hope I get across:

10 am there is a knock at the door,
knocks me half out of my secretary
It's a dame, she tells me I have to help her find her husband.
It's raining outside so I grab some r...

Quasimodo wants to go on vacation...

so he posts an ad in the local paper. A couple of days later he's contacted by a young man, and asks him to come up to Notre Dame so that he can learn the ropes.
"Ringing ze bells of Notre Dame truly is an art, and there is only one way to get ze perfect sound you know. Here, I will show you"...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

College Football Jokes - Enjoy!

Don't know where they came from, but they are worth a chuckle or two.

> Ohio State's
> Urban Meyer on one of his players: "He doesn't know
> the meaning of the word
> fear. In fact, I just saw his grades and he doesn't know
> the meaning of a lot of
> words...

So Quasimodo decides it's time to retire...

He's getting old, and ringing the bell at the Notre Dame cathedral has become too taxing. He puts a 'help wanted' ad in the local newspaper looking for a bell ringer, and receives a response the very next day from a skinny, overeager peasant, who agrees to meet him up in the bell tower.

Upon...

The cathedral bell ringer

A long time ago the priests of the great cathedral of Notre Dame were looking for someone to replace the aging bell ringer. After a few days of searching a man enters the cathedral with no arms. He approaches the priests and says, "I hear you're looking for someone to ring the bells. Search no furth...

A woman buys a talking parrot that belonged to a brothel house before.She takes the parrot home:

"Oh, new brothel, new dames...cooool ".After a while the daughters come home. The parrot:" Oh, new brothel, new hookers...cooool. "After a while husband comes home. The parrot: "oh, new brothel, new hookers, old friends...hello Bob."

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.