UPJOKE
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I saw Missy Elliott running a yellow vegetable stand. But I think she was struggling for customers.

She kept yelling "Get your free corn!"

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Missy Elliot just dropped her first album in 13 years!

Do you think she still followed the 5 second rule?

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A well-to-do woman was on a safari around Kenya.

As the visited a remote village she was pestered by enormous black flies just buzzing around her face.
She turned to the guide and asked "What is it with these flies everywhere?"
The guide replied "Ah yes Missy, these are Bum Bum flies"
"What an odd name" she replied.
"Yess Miss...

A man in the grocery store notices a woman with a three-year-old girl in her cart.

As they pass the cookie section, the little girl screams for cookies. The mother says, “Now Missy, we only have a few more aisles to go—don’t throw a fit. It won’t be long.” In the candy aisle, the little girl whines for candy. The mother says,

“There, there, Missy, don’t cry. Two more aisle...

A little girl was visiting the farm with her class one day

When she asked the farmer if that weird bird strutting around was a rooster.

“No, missy, it ain’t. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, ok. Just chicken.”

A 90 year old man walks into a brothel

Says “missy, I want your most beautiful girl”

Lady at the counter says “mister, get out of here, you’ve had it”

He says “I did?, well then how much do I owe you?”

New House

Three friends are visiting a buddy who just moved into his new house. He offers them beers, then tells them to look around while he takes a quick shower. The three friends wander through the house then head outside to take a look at the backyard.

It is beautifully landscaped and huge, but...

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Little Johnny was at school one day...

Little Johnny was at school and the teacher was asking all the children to use different words in sentences.

She asked who can use the word fascinate in a sentence.

Roger raises his hand and says "the sky is fascinating.

Good try roger, but I am asking for you to use the word fa...

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A Fireman See's a Little Girl

that has her own homemade firetruck with her dog and a red wagon.He says to the little girl, "That's a nice looking firetruck little missy!" She then says, "Thank You!" He keeps checking it out when he notices that the rope that's tied to the wagon is tied to the dogs testicles.He tells the little g...

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That's nice...

Three recently married southern belles are sitting together catching up on all that had happened since their respective nuptials. It's not long before the three ladies begin showing off what their husbands had done to spoil them.

The first belle sticks her left hand out and lets the sun hit ...

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