A woman is walking through the park when she sees a very attractive man sitting on a park bench. He's reading a book and eating some fruit out of a Tupperware container. Slowly the woman gathers the courage to go ask the man out.

So, she walks over and takes a seat next to him on the bench, turns to him and says, "Sorry to bother you. I know this may be a little forward but I would love to grab coffee with you some time." Flattered, the man responds, "Sure... but what makes you so certain you and I would get along so well?" ...

Why was the the blonde staring at the orange juice container ?

It said Concentrate

Chinese takeout $25.00... Gas to pick it up $5.00... Getting home and realising they have forgotten one of your containers...

Riceless

I tried to catch a bunch of fireflies last night but they escaped the container

It was ajar

Why Was The Baker So Depressed About Purchasing Containers That Only Fit 12 Donuts?

If you ask him he will give you 13 Reasons Why.

My girlfriend and I like to make containers for our herbs and spices

She didn’t like my cumin herb box though.

I was seasoning my steak when one of my spice container lids popped open and spilled all over.

It was quite the waste of thyme

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Today, I saw a guy with two big containers of laxitive coming out of Costco.

And I though, I bet that guy is full of crap.

What is the official container for the state of Alabama?

Ramekin.

What do you call a mislabeled orange juice container?

Pulp fiction.

Chinese takeout: $11.77. Price of gas to get there: $1.90. Making it all the way home and realizing that they forgot one of the containers:

Riceless

Sunday Sermon

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars:
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of ch...

What do Walrus’s and Tupperware containers have in common?

They both like tight seals

Got pulled over for open container

I asked the cop "if its illegal to drink a beer while you drive then why is there a bottle opener attached to every seat?"

He said: "sir, those are seat belts."

Three idiots get lost in the desert......

After walking for hours, they begin to realize they are in trouble knowing they need water very soon. Fortunately for them they happen upon a crashed and deserted car, the first idiot: the radiator must have water, the second idiot the wind shield wiper container must have water, the third idiot doe...

A detetive was hired for a job

he found out the murderer was a leather container for carrying documents almost immediately



it was a brief case

What do you call a container that's slightly open?

Ajar.

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What do a horny walrus and a tupperware container have in common?

They're both looking for a tight seal.

Why is it called "canning" if it's storing things in glass containers and not cans?

Because renaming it at this point would be jarring.

What is a doctor’s favorite type of animal container?

Hippo crates

The Blonde And The Farmacist

**The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on ...

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Hobo is looking for food in waste containers near MIT campus...

...and suddenly sees a nude drunk young woman sleeping in one of the containers. He wakes her up and asks her:

"What is the second law of thermodynamics?"

Before falling back asleep girl looks at him with dull gaze and answers:

"T... total entropy of an isolated system can never...

The advantages of breast milk

The not necessarily well-prepared student sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.

The question directed: 'Give four advantages of breast milk.' What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:

1...

I don't know why the barista got so angry when I knocked over her container of cash and coins...

The sign said "tip jar"...

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My local grocery store was robbed of almost $10,000

the thieves managed to get away with two containers of lysol wipes, four bottles of hand sanitizer and a package of chicken breasts.

Did you hear about the wizard that can turn doors into containers?

Sometimes he got a bit obsessive, but he told others that he was trying to keep the door ajar.

There's this guy with OCD who likes to collect containers.

Unfortunately for him, they're always ajar.

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At a winery, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire.

A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away. He gave him a glass to drink.

The drunk tried it and said, “It's a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acc...

I like my plastic containers like I like my jokes on this page

Recycled.

What do you call a Saltine container filled with ducks?

A box of quackers

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An old man goes to the doctor’s office.

After complaining to him for a few minutes the doctor gives him a small container and tells him to come back tomorrow with a sample of his semen in it. On the next day the old man arrives in the office and says “I’m sorry doctor but i could not do it. First i tried with my right hand and then the le...

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Press the lid of an ice cream container before you buy it. If it's solid, it's been properly stored. If it depresses

You'll still eat it you fat fuck.

Sometimes I just drink milk straight from the container

It tastes better and the cow seems to enjoy it

What do you call a Vietnamese themed restaurant that only serves Indian food in Chinese take out containers?

PhoCurry.

What do you call an empty container of Cheese Whiz?

Cheese Was.

What's the difference between a container with sand and a container with babies in it?

I can't use a pitchfork to empty the container with sand.

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