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Posterior Jokes

I want to get a lambda tattoo on my posterior.

But why?


Yes.

It’s a little-known fact that, after signing the Declaration of Independence, the Founding Fathers collectively dropped their pants, pointing their posteriors toward England

Thus the motto “E pluribus moon ‘em”

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Did you hear about the guy that made the ass copy?

He kept it for posteriority!

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The Psychiatrist & The Proctologist

Best friends graduated from medical school at the same time and decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist. They put up a sign reading: "Dr. Smith and ...

They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind

But I like to think he had posterior motives.

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Fancy Toilet paper names

A big chief of a native american tribe had heard of a new invention of the white man called toilet paper, and he wanted to try it out so he sends a runner to a general store in town to buy some. The runner gets to the store and says "Need toilet paper for big chief.", to which the clerk replied, "Wh...

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I took some pictures of my girlfriend's butt this morning

I'm saving them for posteriority.

Lady brings Muffy to the Vet

Lady goes to the vet with Muffy, who has a large hairy growth emanating from her posterior.

"Doctor, can you do anything about that big hairy growth there?"

Vet says, "No problem, here's a prescription for some ointment, just rub it on the hairy growth and it'll be gone in no time at a...

A close shave

A man dressed impeccably, in the finest Italian suit, a silk tie and matching leather shoes walked into a shabby barbershop and enquired apprehensively.
"I have a very important meet in an hour and I need the closest shave possible, I do not want a hint of growth anywhere. Do you think you can d...

A guy walks into a bar...

... with his dog a step behind him. The bartender immediately looked up and said

"Hey, city ordinance, no animals allowed where food or drink is served!"

The guy looks apologetic, but says "I'm sorry, but this is no ordinary dog. This is my magic talking dog! Look, if I can convince ...

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A man got killed by a bear while going hunting

and is ID, which was torn up, only barely showed his name, and all the coroner could make out from it was "Joe J" but the rest of the letters of the man's last name were unreadable. In the town of Reidsville, there were two people known to be dead/missing recently named Joe with a last name that wit...

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Jimmy and the "Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick"

Jimmy goes to see a beautiful dominatrix that all his buddies recommended.

He nervously tells her, "My friends said I should ask you for a 'Classic-Vlasic-Ass-Lick'. But they wouldn't tell me anything about it. What is it exactly?"

She explains, "Well, first I'm going to strip you na...

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