Golfer: "You must be the world's worst caddy!"

Caddy: "No, that would be too much of a coincidence

Jesus is playing golf with Moses as his caddy.

They get to a par 3, but there is a small pond between them and the hole. Jesus asks, “what should I use?” Moses responds, “Arnold Palmer can hit with a 9 iron, but you should use a 7.” Jesus days, “If Arnold can do it, I can do it.” He tees up and hits the ball into the water. He sends Moses t...

A priest goes out practice golfing and has an altar boy caddy for him.

Right off the first tee the priest immediately hooks the ball into a sand trap. He mutters, "God Dammit!!!" The shocked altar boy says, "Father! Isn't that blasphemy?" The priest says, "Awww I'm a priest, he'll forgive me."
On the second tee he hits a bad slice, the ball bounces off a tree and ...

Bill,a pro at the local golf course,and Ray,his longtime friend and caddy,went out golfing.

Bill was getting lined up for the most critical putt of his life.It would mean the course record and TenThousand dollars.When a funeral procession came by,Bill stops what he was doing,takes off his hat,holds it to his chest,and bows his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you,"Ray asks?"This i...

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A golfer and his caddy went to Japan for a tournament

The caddy went out to a brothel one night, and for the entire night, the hooker he was with screamed “YAMAKOTO, YAMAKOTO!”. The caddy, not knowing Japanese, assumed that the hooker was praising him.
The next day was the big tournament. The golfer scores a hole in one, and the entire crowd shouted...

I'm not a professional caddy or anything....

but I think Tiger Woods probably should've used a driver.

So a politician dies...

And ends up standing in front of the pearly gates. Saint Peter looks at him for a second, flicks through his book, and finds his name.

‟So, you’re a politician...”
‟Well, yes, is that a problem?”
‟Oh no, no problem. But we have recently adopted a new system for people in your line of wo...

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Robot Caddies

So a guy decides to take the day off from work for a round of golf, and when he gets to the course he asks for a caddy. The pro shop manager asks if he'd like to try out one of their new robot caddies. "Sure, why not," the man replies. As he goes through the course the robot caddy is giving him the ...

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A man has an elephant...

A man has an elephant that is getting too expensive to feed, so he puts an ad in the paper for a 50/50 contest. 20 dollars to enter, and if you can make the elephant jump, you win half the pot. Many people try but nobody can do it. One day, a slick guy in a Cadillac shows up puts money in the jar...

Tiger Woods has another mishap in his automobile.

He should really start listening to his Caddy on his drives

Stevie Wonder rings Tiger Woods and says

"how do you fancy a round of golf"

Tiger says "I didn't think you would be able to play Stevie"

Stevie explains how he had a caddy put a device in each hole that emits a constant high pitched tone and he can tune an earpiece into, which tells him the direction and distance to it.
...

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Jesus was playing a round of golf with John the baptist

They were teeing up on the 9th hole and Jesus drives the ball right onto a patch of grass in the middle of a lake.


"Out of bounds, 2 shots!" John the baptist laughs



"I can play from there" Jesus said



"Not even Tiger Woods could get it from there" S...

A golfer is having a horrible day on the course.

After another shot into the woods, he says aloud, “I’d move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course.”

His caddy puts the club back into his bag and says, “Try just heaven, because you’ve already moved most of the earth.”

Play golf?

(True story)

Many years ago, I was on a job interview. The guy interviewing me was a big golf lover, and had golf stuff all over his office. He noticed me noticing it and asked if play golf.

Somehow, I came up with the perfect answer. With a [mostly] straight face, I replied, "No, but ...

Tiger and Stevie Wonder are in a bar

Tiger turns to Stevie and asks, "How's the singing career going?"

Stevie: Not bad. How's the golf?

Tiger: Not bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that worked out now.

Stevie: I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a wh...

A man in a wheechair is playing golf...

His caddy walks up and says "Hello sir! What is your handicap?"

A guy goes to his local golf course...

The club pro asks him if he wants to try out one of their experimental new robot caddies...on the house.

"Sure, why not?" the man says.

He returns after playing 18 holes and raves to the club pro about the caddy. The robot gave him swing tips throughout the round and always chose the ...

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An American man is on a golf tour in Japan

The night before his first match he decides to wonder through the city and do some site seeing. Unexpectedly, he comes across a brothel. The man tries to reason with himself but talks himself into going in anyway. He walks to the counter and tells the woman at the front desk that he wants one woman ...

A businessman went to a golf club.

A businessman went to a golf club he frequented every weekend. When he tried to hire a caddy, the manager told him that they no longer had any to hire.

"Well then," said the man, "What am I supposed to do without a caddy?"

The manager politely informed him that all of the caddies had b...

Taking his son golfing

Mr. Smith was a bad golfer, but God help him, he still loved to play the game. One weekend morning, his wife couldn't look after their son, so he agreed to bring him along, and have him act as his caddy.

When they got to the course, he pulled his son aside and handed him a scorecard.

"...

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