UPJOKE
cantin canbeercoffeelagerbottlealecrown holdingsteatindrinkwinecanisteraluminumflask

Friend: “I heard one of the beer companies put a trans woman on their beer can.” Me: “Anheuser Busch?”

Friend: “I don’t know, I couldn’t see her bush.”

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A redneck birth control

After having the 10th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough since they could not afford another kid.

So the husband went to his doctor and told him the he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy th...

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When Bill and Hillary Clinton got married, Bill informed Hillary that he had a shoebox under the bed, and she was never to open it under any circumstances. Hillary agreed and promised to never open the box.

Hillary respected his wish as the years went by and kept her promise. But after several years of marriage, Hillary's curiosity got the best of her. She opened the box and found several hundred dollars in cash, and a couple of empty beer cans.

She felt guilty, and confessed to Bill that she ha...

Which beer cans do cops shoot at for target practice?

Black and tan.

"Bet you can't chug that entire beer can"

"Hold my beer"

Say “beer can” in a British accent.

No, wait, that’s “Bacon” in Jamaican.

What do you call a bunch of flies in a beer can?

An Outback Vibrator

I just read a study that the hops in beer can irritate men's prostates

If anything in beer bothers your prostate you're consuming it the wrong way.

What did a burnt pizza, pregnant girl and frozen beer can have in common?

Nobody pulled out in time.

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Bill and Hillary

When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, “I put a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.”
In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked. On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside. In it ...

A man was being given a physical exam by a doctor...

... and the doctor noticed a thick callus on the bridge of the man's nose.
"I wonder what caused that" said the doctor.
"Oh, that is from my glasses" said the man.
"That shouldn't be happening" said the doctor. "Have you tried contact lenses?
"Hell no" said the man. "How much be...

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