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Buns Jokes

My friend just did her hair up in a bun and was feeling very insecure about it

So being the supportive friend I am, I assured her her buns were fine

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call it when you put your meat between two buns?

A sandwich, you sick fuck.

A group of 40 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner....

Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Ocean View restaurant because the waiters there had tight pants and nice buns.

10 years later at 50 years of age, the group once again discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally it was agreed that they should meet at the Ocean...

My sister told me she just baked some synonym buns...

I replied “you mean, just like the ones grammar used to make?”

What do you call an antique comb used to make braids, buns, and Celtic knots passed from generation to generation

Hair loom.

Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns?

So it doesn’t Hang Solow

An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery. The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves. He says to the Irishman: “That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn’t even see me.”

“That’s just simple thievery,” the Irishman replied. “I’ll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results.”

The Irishman then proceeded to call out the owner of the bakery and says: “Sir, I want to show you a magic trick.” The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magi...

What do you call two burger buns that came out of the oven stuck to each other?

Sesamese twins.

Beautiful Buns

From my father.

So there was this man and woman whom had been married for many years and were still very much in love. Their anniversary was coming up and the wife wanted to do something very special for her husband and comes up with a wonderful gesture.

She goes to a tattoo parlor an...

Mich grabbed his Meat. Sam grabbed her buns...

The made little sam'miches together. <3

Went to the zoo and one of the enclosures just had a load of burger buns on the floor.

The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity

One day, Hot Dog Bun Boy came home from school...

His mother saw him come in looking pretty glum and asked, "What's the matter Hot Dog Bun Boy? Did something happen?"

Hot Dog Bun Boy replied, "I was in my history class and it's so frustrating that there are no lessons at all about Hot Dog Buns like us! It's so unfair!"

The mother cam...

Why are hot pickle buns so popular in polish women's prisons?

They're made out of dill dough.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The legend of Attila the Hun.

The story goes that Attila used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favourite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appet...

A man goes into a restaurant with his pet snake.

He seats himself at a table, and his snake slithers up onto the seat next to him. Soon, a waitress comes to take his order.

The man declares, "I want 25 hamburgers- two for me and 23 for my pet snake here."

The waitress leaves, and 20 minutes later returns with two plates. On the man'...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Australian sitting in a cafe, drinking coffee, eating bun with jam

American comes to cafe,sits down to the Australian and while chewing his gum asks:

"Do you, the Australians, eat all the slice of bread?"

"Of course", Australian response.

Smiling American blows gum bubble and says:

"We do not. In America, we eat only a soft portion of th...

Ketchup and rubber buns

DAD: "Ok, so after every question i ask you you must say ketchup and rubber buns".

KID: Gotcha.

DAD: what did you buy at the store?

KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.

DAD: What did you have for dinner?

KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.

DAD: What do you do when an ol...

Where do all the bad hamburger buns live?

In the seedy part of town

My friend and I just opened a bakery!

As an opening day special we added a sugary coating to all products at no extra charge.

We came out all buns glazing!

I had just stuck my wiener into some golden buns when I realized...

I forgot a condiment.

"Hey, can I try feeding your snake?"

"Sure. His bread is in the pantry."

"Your snake eats... Bread?"

"My anaconda don't want none, unless you got buns, hun."

An Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bakery

As they are standing at the counter, the Englishman quietly picks up 3 buns stows them away in his pocket.

He turns slightly towards the Irishman, saying quietly, "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The baker didn't even see me."

The Irishman scoffed back, "That's jus...

The Baker

I know a guy who's a baker in the army. He goes into battle all buns glazing.


Sorry sorry. Bad one.

Why do anacondas like hamburgers?

Cause it got buns, hun

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm thinking of tattooing an X on each butt cheek.

That way I can have hot cross buns year round.

Girls night out

A group of 15 year old girlfriends discussed where they should meet for dinner. Finally, it was agreed upon that they should meet at the Dairy Queen next to the Ocean View restaurant because they only had $6.00 between them and Jimmy Johnson, that cute boy in Social Studies, lives on that street and...

How do you find Ronald McDonald in the nudist camp?

He’s the one with sesame seeds on his buns.

What do McDonald's and priests have in common?

They both shove their meat in seven year old buns.

Raymond starts work at a zoo.

His first job is to clean out a tank of rare fish. However Raymond slips on a wet patch, smashes the fish tank and watches in horror as the fish flip-flop around on the floor. There are no other tanks nearby, so Raymond flings the dying fish into the lion enclosure, where a hungry lion soon snaps th...

I Walk Into A Bar

I sit down and ask the bartender for a drink.

He gets me a drink and I drink it.

Then I pay him and walk out.

I then get in my car and drive to the supermarket.

I arrive at the supermarket and get out of my car.

I go up to the entrance and grab a shopping cart...

Have you heard of the robbery at the donut store?

I heard that the robbers left with buns glazing

My Grandad, who died in the war, could only be a chef due to his dyslexia.

He went out all buns glazing.

I bought a pet snake. He’s a very picky eater. Only eats burgers, hot dogs, and sloppy joes.

Apparently, my anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns, hon.

Did you hear about the baker who robbed a bank?

He just burst in there, buns glazing!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do female pornstars and burgers have in common?

Both have seed on their buns

Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?

His buns were toasted.

(LONG) Man walks into bakery, picks out a few loaves of bread, then heads to check-out.

(been a while since I've seen this repost, bear with me)
The clerk is a healthy young lady, and she starts ringing him up. He's been wanting to branch out in his breakfast routine, and asks if she has any recommendations. She points to the top shelf behind her, and says that she really likes th...

There was once an incorrigible punster.

No matter the situation her'd have a groaner ready. One day, served a simple dinner of buns and water, he quipped: "The bun is the lowest form of wheat."

His friends were so tired that they decided to come up with a situation that he could not turn into a pun. They took him to visit an orpha...

[NSFW] Why do vegetarians have in common with straight men?

They prefer their buns with no wiener.

An aging hotel inspector was performing his final inspection on a luxury hotel before his retirement.

He had arrived at the joint the day before, and had already slept in a room to analyze how clean and comfortable they were. When he had woken up, he went into the bathroom to check its functionality and cleanliness, and continued on to the main dining hall after.

Upon arrival, he saw they we...

My wife can't figure out why my pet anaconda won't eat Bratwurst a la cart

I told her that my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.

What did Axl Rose name the colonics spa that he proudly opened?

'Buns n Hoses'

Did you hear about the police seige at the donut factory robbery?

The bad guys came out with all buns glazing.

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