What did the police officer say to the failed porta potty thief that got crushed when it fell on him during his attempted getaway?

“Stop! In the name of the law, you are under arrestroom!”

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Lighting a firework inside of a porter potty is the most patriotic thing anyone can do.

Because in America, our history is simple: *we blow shit up.*

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My three year old daughter made this up...what did the potty training robot say?

Pee poop pee poop.

Accidentally dropped a 20 dollar bill in a porta potty

Thought “Damn, no way I’m reaching in there for a measly 20”

So I took out a hundred from my wallet and dropped it in.

Now for 120, I’ll definitely go in.

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The parrot with a potty mouth

So this parrot is owned by a prostitute, and he's always calling his owner a "hoe". This upsets the prostitute because she sometimes has family over and the parrot cant refrain from calling her a "hoe"

The prostitute decides to tell her boyfriend about it and he says "Oh, I can totally tame y...

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Two boys, 8 and 10 constantly swear...

One evening, when the boys are fighting, the mother gets fed up and decides she is done.

She tells the boys " I've had enough of your potty mouths! The next time I hear you cuss, I'm going to slap you!! Now get to your rooms!!!"

The next morning she is in the kitchen when the boys co...

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I don't know how people have sex in a porta potty

There's no fucking room

What syndrome has people barking out potty humor?

Toilette’s syndrome

How does the computer programmer potty train his son?

Ctrl+P

My son yells out potty jokes in class

We’re afraid he has toilettes’ syndrome

Why didn't the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? [spoiler I guess?]

He didn't want to go.

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You know how there is book for potty training called "Everybody Poops"

There should be a book on dealing with people called "Everybodys Full of Shit"

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Three construction workers.

Three construction workers were at a jobsite one day when there was no port-a-potty, the first worker grabs a shovel out of a truck and digs a hole, the second one disappeared, the third one finds the second one on top of a pole with his pants down reading a newspaper. The second worker says to the ...

My son finished potty training today!

I mean, he’s 31, but better late than never!

Dad potty trains his son.

"Son, if you want to pee like a big boy, then you need to follow these steps:

Step 1: unzip.
Step 2: pull it out.
Step 3: pull the skin back.
Step 4: pee.
Step 5: pull the skin forward.
Step 6: put it back in your pants.
Step 7: zip up"

Some tim...

Potty Training

Potty training my toddler can be likened to the maiden voyage of the Titanic...

At the beginning we are hopeful and excited but by the end everyone’s crying and wet.

What an outstanding result in potty training!

An envy pee.

(like an MVP, get it..OK I go away now)

Do you know the difference between a potty and a coffe pot?

No? Don't you ever invite me for coffee!

The baby is great. My wife and I just started potty training.

Which I think is important because when we want to potty train the baby, we should set an example.

The Potty

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what's up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 15 seconds or so, he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and h...

a guy thing..

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I
was
on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch
in
between errands.
It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I
smelled something funny, so of course, I che...

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a little boy is being potty trained by his parents.

All starts going well except when in restaurant, the kid shouts "I need to pee!"

Embarrassed, the parents come up with a new idea. They tell their son "from now on, when you need to pee, just say you need to whisper". The son likes the idea. When he needed to go, he would say "Dad! I need to ...

Ryan had to go potty real bad,

but the door to the potty was Lochte.

What's common between Marriage & a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.

Some plumbers wanted to have a sleepover

They held a slumber potty

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On Top of The Toilet - The_Merciless_Potato

A crappy feeling's comin' over me

There is defecation in 'most everything I see

Not a toilet in sight, ate a taco and some fries

And I won't be surprised if it's a stream



Every worst food-combo in the world

Is now coming true especially inside me

And...

What's a toilet on a Portuguese jetty called?

A porto potty.

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A teacher was in class...

And she decided to teach the alphabet. She would call out a letter and then ask the students to name something that began with the same letter. Well little Timmy had a potty mouth so she would be sure not to call on him.

So she began with A. “Can anyone tell me what begins with the letter...

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There was a crew on the job that had fun with practical jokes and most of them were harmless...[NSFW]

But then one day they somehow put the porta-potty on the roof.




They took that shit to an entirely different level.

I wish Kanye's new song Lift Yourself would have come out 35 years ago

It wouldn't have taken me so long to get potty trained.

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One evening, a vicar has a brilliant idea.

Wouldn't it be wonderful, he thinks, to have a parrot in the church doorway to greet the congregation as they arrive on Sundays.

So, next morning, he gets up bright and early, and heads off to the nearest pet shop, where he enquires about parrots.

They have but one parrot in stock, and...

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Never Mess with Kids

A man was seated next to a kid in an airplane.
The man turned to him and said, “Let’s talk”.

Kid: Ok, what do we talk about ?

Man (making fun of d kid): How about nuclear power?

Kid:
Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question…
Horse, cow & deer, all eat g...

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Clint Eastwood says we’re the “pussy generation.”

Potty mouth.

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Two friends are hiking in the woods

When one stops to pee. During his potty stop, he is bitten on the dick by a rattlesnake. He cries for help, and his friend comes running over. He sees the snake slithering away and his friend holding his wounded member and immediately calls poison control.
"Please help me, my friend's been bitte...

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An old man and a preacher are playing golf one day.

An old man and a preacher are playing golf one day, when the old man hits his ball into a creek.

"Shit, I missed," he says.

"You really shouldn't talk like that," the preacher responds, "God is always watching."

The old man apologizes and the two continue their game. A few holes...

Two boys sitting to pee

Two five year old boys are sitting at the potty to pee.

When one says, " Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!"

" I've been circumcised." Says the second boy.

" What does that mean?"

"It means they cut the protective skin skin off the end."

" How old were you whe...

One day a man sat down to relieve himself

One day a man sat down to relieve himself in a port-o-potty when he heard a voice shout out, "No!".
Hearing this the man got off the toilet and asked who said that.
The voice responded," I am down here!"
The man looked down into the toilet and saw an Indian man. The man was shocked and ask...

As an older man, I visited Boston and tried the bar scene

All the kids kept insisting that I did not know how to "potty." Silly, I have been using the "potty" since I was 2. They also thought it was funny to tell me since I was old I must not know where my Khakis are. I was obviously wearing them. Strange kids over there.

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