There was a tribe that made new thrones for each chief, while burning the previous throne.

One day, a man thought, "Hey, let's just store these thrones in memorium of our previous chiefs!"

So the man started storing each of the thrones in his grass hut. Over the years, the number of thrones rose. For each year there was a new chief, the previous throne was stored in his grass hut.<...

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Was in the bathroom the other day next to the guy that played Tyrion Lannister on Game of Thrones.

He wasn’t paying attention and pissed on my shoes. Damn that Peter Sprinklage.

Queen Elizabeth ascended to the throne 69 years ago today. When asked for comment, Boris Johnson replied,

"Nice."

The king's guard bursts into the throne room...

Out of breath and in a panic they alert the king
> Sire, the peasants, they're revolting!


The king nods and responds:
>Mmm yes, they are quite disgusting aren't they

What do you call musical chairs with toilets?

Game of Thrones

4 people fighting to sit on the Throne.

There's blood, there's guts, there's nudity.

Gonna have to face the facts.

I'm a terrible cook.

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Whats the difference between Game of Thrones and a porno?

At the end of the porno everyone was satisfied

A different game of thrones

Long ago a then famous reporter of the times traveled to a little known kingdom deep in the heart of Africa, accompanied by translators and bearers of course. It was not very technologically advanced, with no plumbing and clay and stray being the primary building materials.

Upon arrival he w...

The King of the magical land Wakanda invited the President of the United States and the Queen of Britain to visit.

When they arrived, the Royal Guide of Wakanda brought them to the Palace.
"I should warn you, the beauty and luxury you will see is unparalleled." he said.
They both snorted haughtily. Surely this third-world country couldn't compete with their own riches.

But when they entered, they we...

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Updating a classic for modern times [long]

When the news of covid hit Tammy said "I don't need to worry, God will protect me."


Well when lock downs started Tammy said "I don't need to worry, God will protect me". And she continued to see her friends, and be rude to restaurant staff when she got take out and show up to places tha...

How many Game of Thrones seasons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Eight, if you want to screw it completely.

I, foolishly, named my daughter Daenerys before seeing how Game of Thrones ended. But you live and you learn.

Now to take a big sip of coffee, sit down with my son, Judas, and read about how things worked out for this Jesus fella.

The Ivory Throne of the King of Timbuktu

Hundreds of years ago, when glorious Timbuktu was nothing more than a large collection of grass huts, the King of that great city declared his wish for a throne fit for such a mighty ruler. Of ivory it was to be, exquisitely carved, inlaid with gold leaf, decorated with diamonds and emeralds and sap...

What do suicide and game of thrones have in common?

They both don’t end well.

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Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers

Will make your car look fucking stupid

People still having large weddings during a pandemic must be huge Game of Thrones fans.

After all a Dothraki wedding without at least 3 deaths is considered a dull affair.

The ending of Game of Thrones makes sense, think about it.

Arya went west, Jon went north, Drogon went east, and the show went south.

Pope Francis knocks on heaven's gate

Pope Francis knocks on heaven's gate after his death. Saint Peter opens the door, looks at him and says: "Welcome to live after death. What is your name?" The pope is slightly irritated and answers: "I am the pope." "Pope who?", Peter asks. "Pope Francis, you should know who I am!" the pope says, a ...

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I get anxious when I watch “Game of Thrones” with my parents, because of all the sex.

Sometimes I turn the volume up, so that I don’t hear them.

Harry and Meghan are leaving the throne

At least 2 people know how to make a proper Brexit

The guy who played "The Mountain" from Game of Thrones is 50% of a Norse god.

He's Hafthor.

So there was this king in Hawaii living in a straw thatch style palace whose hobby was collecting thrones...

Anytime some local carpenter created a new ornate chair, he had to have it for his collection. The guy was wild about them, it was his one true passion in life.

Well one day, lightning strikes during a thunderstorm and his palace burns down including his entire collection. He was crushed, ne...

What do you call a guy who always refuses to give up his long “reading” sessions on the morning throne?

A Poo’er Aeternus

What does The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Fast and Furious have in common?

All their Walkers are dead

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Game of thrones spoiler!!!!

Now that all the nerds aren't paying attention, party at my house this Saturday.

Do you know why Palpatine spends so much time on his throne?

Because he likes to Sith.

African chief whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies

There was this African chief at the turn of the last century whose obsession was to conquer other chiefs and take their thrones as trophies. These thrones he would collect and display in the second level of his magnificent palace just above his own luxurious throne. This palace was renowned for its ...

What does Titanic, The Sixth Sense, and Game of Thrones have in common?

Icy dead people.

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

My friend still hasn’t seen season 8 of Game of Thrones. And every time I try to broach the subject she just yells at me, “No Spoilers!” So I gave up on trying to warn her

That she shouldn’t name her baby, Khaleesi.

I watched all of Game of Thrones back to back with the girlfriend,

Fortunately I was the one facing the TV.

What's the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?

One has dragons and the other has drag-offs

Oedipus wants to learn of his fate.

He travels to Thebes to consult the blind prophet Tiresias and asks him, "What does my future hold?"

Tiresias thinks quietly for a time and answers, "First you'll murder your father."

Oedipus is shocked to hear that he'll become a killer, but there must be more to his fate.

He ...

A lion stands upon his rock and lets out a large roar

Immediately, every animal goes up to the lion and crowds around him.

"I have heard rumors from one of you," begins the lion. "I have heard rumors that one of you is trying to take the throne from me, the king of the savannah. As king, I suggest I have a fight with anyone who wants to take i...

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The final season of game of thrones is a lot like porn.

Awful dialogue, shallow plot, and the characters just keep getting fucked.

Three things happened when started watching Game of thrones.

1. My friend said he didn't like this series.
2. My friend got hit by bus.
3. I lost my bus license.

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How can you tell if someone has never seen Game of Thrones?

They'll fucking tell you.

What did they name Game of Thrones' first stock exchange?

Investeros

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Long ago, a king issued a challenge to see who can first cross a crocodile-infested river.

On the day of the challenge, the participants were shocked to see how dangerous the river actually was. Crocodile backs were visible nearly every part of the river and the width of the river seemed to stretch miles away to the other bank.

The king, eager to see some violent gory entertainment...

What do beds and Game of Thrones have in common?

Put 2 twins together and you get a king.

If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

Game of Thrones Themed: "Knock knock. Who's there? Arya"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Arya"

"Arya who?"

"Arya gonna let me in? Winter is comin'!"

I'm a new dad ...I think this whole dad joke thing is inevitable.

Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven.

God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in."


God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?"



He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying tr...

You know who's the best character in the Game of Thrones show right now?

It *Varys*

Now that Game of Thrones is ending, you know who my dad thinks should write pirate books?

George "Arrre Arrre" Martin

I'm sorry.

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented motorcycles, eh!" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me…"

God commented, "Well, what a big deal – inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was appare...

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy.

Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home.

Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within...

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Why is game of thrones so popular?

Who doesn't enjoy a porn with good backstory?

Donald Trump is walking along a beach

He stumbles over an old bottle, he picks it up and pulls the cork.
With a flash of light and a puff of smoke a Genie appears before him.

"Thank you Donald for releasing me from my prison, I shall grant you any 1 wish"

Trump immediately blurts out "I want a Dragon like from game of t...

Who's the wildest knight in Game of Thrones?

Ser Engeti

What are the spiders like in Game of Thrones?

Varies.

What do the last ten minutes of Dexter and the last season of Game of Thrones have in common?

They ruin eight years of your life.

Which Game of Thrones house does House Trump most resemble?

Definitely not House Lannister, because they always pay their debts.

I know who dies first in the last Game of Thrones...

The legacy of a once-great show

In Game of Thrones Winter Came...

And everyone left unsatisfied

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[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

People complain about Game of Thrones having a lot of incest...

...but Bran could have broken his arms instead of his legs

Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones?

Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.

Why does the Queen have to fart?

So there's air to the throne.

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

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We've seen a lot of nudity on Game of Thrones

I think tonight might be the first night we have ever seen a Dickon fire though

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

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[Spoiler] In Game of Thrones, what is Jon and Dany's favorite sexual position?

Lannister style

Queen Elizabeth has been on the Throne for 65 years

That's one hell of a dodgy curry.

There was a south pacific island village...

Far away in the south pacific, there once was an island village with the custom of electing a new chief every year. By tradition, the laborers of the village would work for months every year to create a giant, ornate bamboo throne for each new chief.

The thrones from previous chiefs began to...

The redditor of all the land sits on his throne

A line of people are waiting to tell him their problems.

The first one walks in.
“I was milking my cow and I realized how annoying and useless it seemed”
The king said “Go follow into the room on the right, and sit on the couch.”

A second person walks in.
“I was doing schoolwo...

I feel sorry for Jorah in Game Of Thrones

He clearly loves Daenerys, but she just isn't one to savour the Mormont.

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LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard.

Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.

Sir Dimalot strode into the throne room and bowed before the king.

"Your majesty," he said, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the villages of your enemies in the north."

The king looked perplexed. "But I do not have any enemies in the north."

"Ah," replied the knight, realising his mistake. "I fear you do now."

The King and the Thrones

Once there was a king- his kingdom was made up of houses made from the hay, mud and reinforced by waterproof grass fronds from the riverbanks. The king, naturally, had the biggest house, his being the only one in the kingdom to have two floors; a tricky bit of engineering for an all natural structur...

People think that Ed Sheeran cameo in Game of Thrones was bad...

But I thought Amy Winehouse getting hit in the face with a rock in last nights episode was just in bad taste.

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If I've learned anything from watching Game of Thrones..

It's that family always cums first.

So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019

They're really dragon it out

Had an issue with how the latest season of Game of Thrones ended:

Bit of an auntie climax don't you think?

Game of Thrones is really getting out of hand...

Even websites are dying in the new season.

People in glass houses...

A pacific island tribal king was infamous for conquering surrounding islands and stealing the defeated king’s throne, and then stowing it, like a trophy, in the attic of his grass hut.

One day when sitting on his throne in said grass hut, the ceiling collapses under the weight of his trophie...

This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy

Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin

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A flavor explosion

To spice up Fajitas with flavor on top.

I picked up a bottle of Frank's Extra Hot.

My payment for daring this flavourful ocean.

Is me on a throne with an anal explosion.

I bought my toddler a plastic "Iron Throne".

I paid the Fisher-Price.

I heard that there is going to be a Game of Thrones crossover with Westworld. (Spoilers for both shows)

Hodor: Hodor!!!

Bernard: What door?

2020 is starting to feel like...

The game of thrones series finale we deserve

[Game of Thrones] If you give Littlefinger two choices...

He'll always prefer the ladder

Game of Thrones Spoiler Joke

I heard the Night King just got a hold of one rarest YuGiOh cards

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The crab and the lobster

One there was a crab called David and a lobster called Lucy and they were very much in love.

One day, Lucy comes running to David, crying her eyes out.

“What’s the matter?” David asks.

“It’s my father, the King. He’s banned me from ever seeing you again!” cried Princess Lucy....

An interview with a vampire

An interview with a vampire.

Interviewer: Voad, You have been living for the last 5000 years, in almost every country on the planet. You have seen rulers come and go, empires rise and fall. Please, tell me what you have done to occupy yourself during this time.

Voad: Well, I have tak...

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

Game of Thrones

Q: What's the name of Hodor's cat?

> A: Hodor

Q: Why did Hodor cross the road?

> A: Hodor

Q: How many Hodors does it take to screw in a lighbulb?

> A: Hodor

Q: What's the title of Hodor's favorite book?

> A: Hodor

Q: Why wasn'...

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

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My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in...

I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself.

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Do not read this [OC] joke.

...I was in some South Dakotan ‘mountains’ ...or ‘rolling hills’ as the rest of the world would call them. It was just a fun journey to burn an afternoon and prep my legs for a trip with my friends to Yosemite. (I would actually go on to propose to my girlfriend at the top of Yosemite Falls, and we’...

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An improved Game of Thrones joke

Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon and Stannis Baratheon go into a tavern. They order ale, but when the barkeep brings them over, they each find a fly in their cups. Robert goes into rage and smashes the cup, demanding new ale. Renly takes the fly out and laughs with the barkeep about it. Stannis rea...

Why does Game of Thrones always kill off its main characters?

For the good of the watch.

What airline does Sophie Turner use when she's filming Game of Thrones?

Luftsansa

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

What would Game of Thrones be called if it was about ice cream?

Game of Cones

If it was about sword sharpening: Game of Hones

If it was just everyone playing Go: Game of Stones

If everyone was single: Game of Alones

If it was about balls: Game of Throwns

If it was about spooky scary skeletons: Game of Bones

If everyone u...

[Game of Thrones Spoiler ALL BOOKS Fan Theory] Benjen, Bran, Daario, Euron, Syrio, Jaqen, and Coldhands walk into a restaurant..

and say: "Table for one, please."

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