I, foolishly, named my daughter Daenerys before seeing how Game of Thrones ended. But you live and you learn.

Now to take a big sip of coffee, sit down with my son, Judas, and read about how things worked out for this Jesus fella.

My friend still hasn’t seen season 8 of Game of Thrones. And every time I try to broach the subject she just yells at me, “No Spoilers!” So I gave up on trying to warn her

That she shouldn’t name her baby, Khaleesi.

If Game of Thrones was written by M. Night Shyamalan, what would he have called the White Walkers?

Icy Dead People

The final episode of Game of Thrones should end in a huge musical number where everyone comes back to life for some reason and nothing is explained and no real ending is given.

That'll cause riots.

What does Titanic, The Sixth Sense, and Game of Thrones have in common?

Icy dead people.

What did they name Game of Thrones' first stock exchange?

Investeros

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God

God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were the one who invented motorcycles, eh!" Arthur said, "Yeah, that's me…"

God commented, "Well, what a big deal – inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution, and can't run without a road?"

Arthur was appare...

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The final season of game of thrones is a lot like porn.

Awful dialogue, shallow plot, and the characters just keep getting fucked.

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I get anxious when I watch “Game of Thrones” with my parents, because of all the sex.

Sometimes I turn the volume up, so that I don’t hear them.

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A woman visited an Amazonian tribe on a research trip...

She spent several days taking notes on the lifestyle and habits of the tribe and interviewing their ruler, King Paolo, via an interpreter. As the tribe's land was near several rich gold mines, the king and his people were extremely wealthy.

During the woman's time with him, the king fell hop...

My friends haven't been talking to me since the day I told them I didn't watch Game of Thrones.

To be completely fair they didn't do that before either.

Who's the wildest knight in Game of Thrones?

Ser Engeti

Now that Game of Thrones is ending, you know who my dad thinks should write pirate books?

George "Arrre Arrre" Martin

I'm sorry.

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Game of thrones spoiler!!!!

Now that all the nerds aren't paying attention, party at my house this Saturday.

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When Solomon the Wise received the Queen of Sheba at his palace, he needed grand new thrones for him and for her.

So by the power of the Seal of Solomon he summoned *djinn* and he said to them: Craft me a pair of thrones that shall be the wonder of all the ages, exquisite in both materials and workmanship and of a value surpassing all the treasures of the earth. And the *djinn*, bound under the Seal, bowed low ...

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How can you tell if someone has never seen Game of Thrones?

They'll fucking tell you.

What do the last ten minutes of Dexter and the last season of Game of Thrones have in common?

They ruin eight years of your life.

What do beds and Game of Thrones have in common?

Put 2 twins together and you get a king.

Game of Thrones Themed: "Knock knock. Who's there? Arya"

"Knock knock. Who's there? Arya"

"Arya who?"

"Arya gonna let me in? Winter is comin'!"

I'm a new dad ...I think this whole dad joke thing is inevitable.

Bran wasn't in Game of Thrones

He was in Wheels of Fortune.

I know who dies first in the last Game of Thrones...

The legacy of a once-great show

Redditers have forgotten how great Game of Thrones seasons 1-7 were

But to be fair, so have Benioff and Weiss

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Game of Thrones is so Fucked.

I'm not watching another episode.

What's the difference between the Game of Thrones books and a Chinese newspaper?

To understand everything in a Chinese newspaper you only need to know about 3,000 characters.

You know who's the best character in the Game of Thrones show right now?

It *Varys*

what's the difference between a ball and a prince?

one is thrown in the air and the other is heir to the throne.

In Game of Thrones Winter Came...

And everyone left unsatisfied

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Why is game of thrones so popular?

Who doesn't enjoy a porn with good backstory?

What do Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead, and Spider-Man all have in common?

They’re more realistic than The Bachelor.

What are the spiders like in Game of Thrones?

Varies.

Game of Thrones's Night King disappointed me ...

He's not even able to hit the broadside of a Bran...

An interview with a vampire

An interview with a vampire.

Interviewer: Voad, You have been living for the last 5000 years, in almost every country on the planet. You have seen rulers come and go, empires rise and fall. Please, tell me what you have done to occupy yourself during this time.

Voad: Well, I have tak...

If Game of Thrones teaches us anything it is that Mexico should build the wall.

Whingers are coming.

I watched all of Game of Thrones back to back with the girlfriend,

Fortunately I was the one facing the TV.

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Warning: Game of Thrones Spoilers

Will make your car look fucking stupid

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home. Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe's elders.

He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines. After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer ...

Kid from The Sixth Sense asked to comment on Game Of Thrones and he described it with one sentence.

"Icey dead people"

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

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A roman, an american, and a jewish man all died.

They were immediately sent to hell because they had committed some pretty unsettling offenses in their lives. The roman was a lustful sex offender, the american was extremely gluttonous, and the Jewish man was very greedy and stole lots of money over his lifetime.

Well, God was feeling pretty...

Where do the Game of Thrones characters go to get their clothing pressed?

The Iron Islands.
...I'm so sorry, I've been re-watching the entire series in preparation for April and this stupid joke popped into my head after my Mum bought a new iron :3

If you spell Breaking Bad backwards, you will get "Dab Gnikaerb"

Which still makes more sense than Game of thrones\` entire season 8

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The Lion gives a royal decree...

In the jungle, the migthy Lion decided that he is too busy dealing with the affairs of the royal court, leaving him unable to hunt his own prey.
Due to this, he decided to give a royal decree, so that the animals in his kingdom must bring him 20 kilograms of raw meat every day. Any animal ...

My girlfriend told me I suffer from delusions of grandeur

I was so shocked that I almost fell of my throne

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My girlfriend didn’t want to have sex while we watched Game of Thrones.

So I just gave her a little finger.

I am glad Game of Thrones is coming to an end in 2019

I hate when TV shows dragon too long.

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A man gets stranded on an island

He walks by the beach, saying loudly "I am fucked I am fucked I am fucked..." Than a bearded man shows up and says, "You are not fucked yet. Follow me" As he does not have anything to do, he follows. The bearded man leads him to a cannibal tribe. The bearded man points to the leader who is sitting o...

Barack, Hillary and Donald are standing in front of the throne of heaven...

Almighty God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side, I want to ask you what you have learned and what you believe in.”



God asks Barack first: “Son, What do you believe in?”



Obama thinks long and hard, looks God straight in the eye, and says, “I ...

Three house pets- a golden retriever, a parakeet, and a cat-- all die and go to heaven...

As with all the good animals, God decides to have a personal discussion with each one to see where they will stay in heaven.

God turns to the golden retriever and says "The Book of Life indicates that you have been a very good boy. But tell me, in your own words, what are your ultimate princi...

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[NSFW] What’s the difference between Game of Thrones and a porn version of Rick & Morty?

In the former, winter is coming, in the latter, Summer is coming.

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[Game of Thrones S7 Spoiler] What do Dragons call Jon Snow?

Motherfucker.

Which Game of Thrones house does House Trump most resemble?

Definitely not House Lannister, because they always pay their debts.

A village chief and his family.

There was a small village where everyone lived in grass huts.

In the middle of the village stood the biggest hut which belonged to the village chief and his family.

During the day, the chief sat in his throne which took up most of the space in his family's hut.

At night, the ...

What's the difference between Game of Thrones and United Airlines?

One has dragons and the other has drag-offs

Which character in Game of thrones has a healthy digestive system

Bran

Eldarion, son of Aragorn, High King of the Reunited Kingdom, was bored.

In a time of peace, there was not much to do, and he was long tired of his jesters. So he called for all of his subordinates, and announced a new prestigious title to which all are given candidacy; the title of “Duke of the Best Joke”.

 

Not wanting to disappoint, Finance Mini...

I feel sorry for Jorah in Game Of Thrones

He clearly loves Daenerys, but she just isn't one to savour the Mormont.

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Found in a bathroom stall...

I hate to shock you on the throne,

But you're not in this stall alone,

There's no use standing on the seat,

The crabs in here can jump six feet,

Now you might think that's pretty high,

But in the next stall, the bastards fly.

The redditor of all the land sits on his throne

A line of people are waiting to tell him their problems.

The first one walks in.
“I was milking my cow and I realized how annoying and useless it seemed”
The king said “Go follow into the room on the right, and sit on the couch.”

A second person walks in.
“I was doing schoolwo...

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We've seen a lot of nudity on Game of Thrones

I think tonight might be the first night we have ever seen a Dickon fire though

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A Vegan King is fed up of all the greens he has eaten so far

So he decrees that anyone who can introduce a new fruit or vegetable to him will be given 1,000 gold coins. However, if they bring up a fruit or vegetable that the king is familiar with, the same produce will be shoved up their butthole.

Excited for the prize, the common folk form a line outs...

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[Spoiler] In Game of Thrones, what is Jon and Dany's favorite sexual position?

Lannister style

A very religious man's child was caught with measles....

The man put the child in his bed and trusted God to rescue him. A neighbor came by and said, “His temperature will soon be too high and will cause irreparable health problems, let me give him some medicine.”


“No thanks” replied the religious man. “I’ve prayed to God and I’m sure he will ...

People complain about Game of Thrones having a lot of incest...

...but Bran could have broken his arms instead of his legs

Sir Dimalot strode into the throne room and bowed before the king.

"Your majesty," he said, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the villages of your enemies in the north."

The king looked perplexed. "But I do not have any enemies in the north."

"Ah," replied the knight, realising his mistake. "I fear you do now."

So we wont see season 8 of Game of Thrones until 2019

They're really dragon it out

The king abdicated the throne, but he would like to rule sometime later...

So he took a reign check

Queen Elizabeth has been on the Throne for 65 years

That's one hell of a dodgy curry.

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If I've learned anything from watching Game of Thrones..

It's that family always cums first.

People think that Ed Sheeran cameo in Game of Thrones was bad...

But I thought Amy Winehouse getting hit in the face with a rock in last nights episode was just in bad taste.

Ladder to Success

A man falls asleep one night with depressing thoughts of his failures in life; never has he been able to provide for his family what he wants them to have. He wakes up the next morning on the floor of a room with only a white painted ceiling and floor. No walls. Just clouds as far as he can see. In ...

Time to invest! Iron is becoming scarce.

First Iron Man and then the Iron Throne? There can't be much iron left.

Why do they run the credits at the beginning of Game of Thrones?

Because you don't know who is going to make it to the end.

What's red and caused horror among Game of Thrones fans?

Ed Sheeran.

My girlfriend climaxed at the season finale of Rick and Morty

She also climaxed at the finale of Iron fist.

And again at the season Finale of Game of Thrones.

She keeps coming to conclusions

A vegan and an introvert walk into a room which one tells you what they are first?

None; the person who hasn't watched "a single episode of Game of Thrones" beat them to it.

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Once upon a time there lived a king of an ancient African tribe.

In this tribe everyone lived in huts made of dirt and grass. Everyone living in the tribe had huts that were only one story high, since no one had the means to build beyond that.


The king, however, being a wealthy and loved ruler, had a hut that was a magnificent two stories high.

...

Had an issue with how the latest season of Game of Thrones ended:

Bit of an auntie climax don't you think?

If a round of musical chairs were played using toilet bowls instead of chairs...

would it be Game of Thrones?

I heard that there is going to be a Game of Thrones crossover with Westworld. (Spoilers for both shows)

Hodor: Hodor!!!

Bernard: What door?

Game of Thrones is really getting out of hand...

Even websites are dying in the new season.

Once upon a time there lived an old King

He had one son. He was very weak. He always fell here and there and hurt himself alot.

The king and queen decided to have another baby. Another son followed. This one was also very weak. The same injuries followed.

Another heir came, another set of injuries came.

Seeing this,...

[Game of Thrones] If you give Littlefinger two choices...

He'll always prefer the ladder

This season of Game of Thrones set new records for Piracy

Probably because it's written by George Arrrrr Arrrrr Martin

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LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard.

Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season.

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Which game of thrones character are you?

if you like these quizzes, you're joffrey, you worthless piece of shit

A pilot encounters engine trouble during a storm over the Pacific Ocean

In a desperate attempt, he crash-lands on an uncharted island and loses consciousness.

A day or so later, he awakens to find himself bound and being dragged by some native savages to their camp.
The natives are going wild at the spectacle, as he is left in the center of the camp next to a...

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A sadistic tyrant was finally defeated and dethroned.

During his decades of reign, the tyrant had used many cruel and unusual punishments against those who had stood against him. He had people doused in boiling water, he had cut limbs off people without just cause, he had them crucified and more.

He enjoyed watching people suffer. However, his b...

The King and the Thrones

Once there was a king- his kingdom was made up of houses made from the hay, mud and reinforced by waterproof grass fronds from the riverbanks. The king, naturally, had the biggest house, his being the only one in the kingdom to have two floors; a tricky bit of engineering for an all natural structur...

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My boss asked me which Game of Thrones house he'd best be placed in...

I told him House Lannister because it only takes one hand to go fuck yourself.

I bought my toddler a plastic "Iron Throne".

I paid the Fisher-Price.

In the mythical kingdoms of ancient India, lived the king Ramuk.

He had a courageous son by the name Tipar. Trained in the arts of war and statehood, Prince Tapir was ever eager to take his chance at the throne.

As age got the better of the king, he decided to crown the Prince and move on to a peaceful life of wine and women.

But before he could han...

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So I finally got a tinder match yesterday...

And immediately I started of by asking "So have you heard of the titanic?"

She immediately got pissed and blocked me. I guess in retrospect, I shouldn't have started off with that line.

Its not a very good icebreaker.


P.s - I just thought of this while taking a shit on the p...

An improved Game of Thrones joke

Robert Baratheon, Renly Baratheon and Stannis Baratheon go into a tavern. They order ale, but when the barkeep brings them over, they each find a fly in their cups. Robert goes into rage and smashes the cup, demanding new ale. Renly takes the fly out and laughs with the barkeep about it. Stannis rea...

What airline does Sophie Turner use when she's filming Game of Thrones?

Luftsansa

A new redditor comes to r/jokes

"Welcome!" Exclaims r/jokes.

"Hi," says the redditor, "tell me a funny joke please."

"Alright. Let me see what i can find." Replys r/jokes before heading off

While the redditor waits they, binge the entirety of Game of Thrones, watch the entire extended directors cut of...

What was the most successful love story in Game of Thrones?

Shireen. She was only on Tinder for a couple of minutes.

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