UPJOKE
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Achieves Jokes

What do you call cancer when it achieves sentience?

A reddit mod.

(doubt this will prevent it form being deleted and myself banned, but this 'attack' is quite impersonal)

Man achieves legendary status in composing music while being DEAF. But who is he?

ClickBeethoven

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer is laying in the bed with his wife

A farmer and his wife were lying in bed one evening; she was knitting, he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry.


He looks up from the page and says to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"


She looks at him wistfully...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman.

An elderly Jewish gentleman marries a much younger woman. No matter what he does sexually, the wife never achieves orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi.

The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, and made the following suggestion: ...

TIL Reddit has one of the most effective carbon offset programs of any website

Which is unsurprising considering /r/jokes consistently achieves a 100% recycle rate.

The one good thing about having a kid with Zika virus...

even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head.

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