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Importantly Jokes

Tom Brady retired, but he does so as the GOAT, with 7 Super Bowls, but more importantly, he’s 5x better than Nickelback.

…he’s a quarterback

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A women wanted to spice things up in the bedroom so she went to a professional sex therapist. The Therapist went through an exhaustive list and importantly how to look sexy, which is to gently bite your lips and raise your eyebrows suggestively.

the next morning the women was in tears... she called the therapist and explained that not only did it not worked but it had completely ruin the mood. The therapist then proceeded to ask here her intimate details ( did you wear the lingerie, perfume, etc ) and could not figure out whey it didn't w...

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Pence made sure he was well dressed for the debate. His tie was adjusted, his collar was fixed, his buttons were buttoned, and most importantly...

His fly wasn't down

When Obi-Wan retired, he bought an island, he got married, he built a house, and most importantly, he started growing cannabis.

He now had a high ground.

Liz truss let her country down she let her party down

But most importantly she lettuce all down

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How do people get Bill from William? Peggy from Margaret? and more importantly how do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

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A guy goes to the tatoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist $1,000 to put a $100 bill on his willie.

The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.


The man replies, "I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now."


So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a ...

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So a penis walks into a bar,

So this penis walks into a bar, right? And the bartender says, “Why the fuck is there a giant walking penis in my place of business? What morbid Lovecraftian monstrosity is this, where a male sex organ has taken an anthropomorphic form and moved frictionlessly to my very own bar? What does this crea...

Wife and girlfriend.

A grandson asked his grandpa one question while on the way back from school...

What is the difference between 'Wife' and 'Girlfriend'?

Grandpa thought for a minute and simplified the explanation like this:

Listen son:

Wife is like a TV

and

Girlfriend is li...

Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible.

After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"

Barack says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."

For my first wish, I ...

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