UPJOKE
aimtargetobjectgoalpurposeverifiableimpersonalrealisticthingrealneutralclinicalconcretecredibleimperative

How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The children in Africa

When I was young and I wouldn’t eat my food, my mom would always tell me to think about the children in Africa and how they’re starving.

Being a good and impressionable kid, I really took her words to heart and made it an objective of mine to help these poor kids. Today I work as a volunteer...

If I'm being subjective, I'd say that the greatest hero in Sci Fi is Doctor Who. But if I'm being completely objective...

I'd say it's Doctor Whom.

^*Edit: ^As ^a ^few ^have ^astutely ^pointed ^out, ^the ^character's ^name ^is ^just ^"The ^Doctor"; ^I ^should ^have ^said ^"the ^greatest ^sci ^fi ^show ^is ^Doctor ^Who" ^instead ^of ^"greatest ^hero ^in ^sci ^fi". ^Thankfully ^the ^dumb ^joke ^still ^works ^in ^t...

Are there a lot of first-person singular objective pronouns…

…or is it just me?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm terrified of objective statements.

Wait, fuck

What is the objective of jewish football?

To get the quarter back.

I had a hard time in the latest verbal brevity competition.

The objective was trying, to say the least.

I joined a fitness group where the main objective is to always take the stairs.

It's a 10,000 step program.

Is there more than one singular first person objective pronoun?

Or is it just me?

Frankestain enters into a body building competition...

and finds he has seriously misunderstood the objective.

In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman.

According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.

TIL 19th century philosopher William Jacob Walsh once predicted a more sophisticated information public information network may result in less objective and reliable information being distributed, rather than the reverse

Of course, this will really only be funny if this joke makes the front page and people don't immediately realise I posted this on r/jokes and made up William Jacob Walsh

An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

Dr. Frankenstein entered a competition.

It was a bodybuilding competition.

It wasn't until it was too late that he realised he really misunderstood the objectives!

If I’m being subjective, the greatest sci-fi show of all time is Dr. Who.

If I’m being objective, it’s Dr. Whom.

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