UPJOKE
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) I have a sexual fetish for intellectual breakthroughs

I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization

I’ve developed a fetish for figuring things out.

I just came to that realization.

I just came to the realization,

Obesity is a growing problem.

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

Sudden realization moment

While speaking with my dad, he said to me "Gandhi fasted so long that his frame was rather frail, and when he ate the strangest fruit his breath was often stale, and he walked barefoot so hardened bottoms were his diagnosis."

Oh my God, I can't believe it...

He was a Super Callous Frag...

I have come to a profound realization

And I really need to clean up

I've come to the realization that tofu is overrated.

It's just a curd to me.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A teenage girl goes to her dad and asks if she can borrow

his Porsche for the night. Her dad says:"no", but she begs and begs and he comes up with a solution. He says: "Tell you what, you give me a blow job and the car is yours for the night". She is taken aback but finally decides that she will look so cool and her friends will be so envious and agrees. S...

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable music comin...

Got stoned once when I had a sudden realization:

I shouldn't have broken the law in Saudi Arabia!

I've come to the realization

that my tinder profile is so bad that even bots won't swipe right.

The Net Neutrality issue made me come to the sad realization...

I'll finally have to start paying for movies I get from Pirate Bay.

As I am getting older, I start to think about all the people I’ve lost along the way..

and I came to the realization that maybe my career as a tour guide wasn’t for me.

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that...

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