UPJOKE
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I just came to the realization,

Obesity is a growing problem.

Beethoven

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to...

I have come to a profound realization

And I really need to clean up

I've come to the realization that suicide would solve all my problems...

... if I could just get the right people to try it.

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

Got stoned once when I had a sudden realization:

I shouldn't have broken the law in Saudi Arabia!

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