I just came to the realization,

Obesity is a growing problem.

I have come to a profound realization

And I really need to clean up

I've come to the realization that tofu is overrated.

It's just a curd to me.

An accordion player is getting sleepy at the wheel of his '93 Geo Metro hatchback, on his way home from playing at a bar mitzvah. His accordion lays on the passenger seat next to him...

... The accordion player decides to pull over at a small pub with a sign reading "$1 Beer Night." He takes some change out of his car's cup holder -- enough for a couple $1 beers.

Inside, he stacks his change on the bar (mostly nickels and pennies) and pretends not to notice the bartender's e...

I've come to the realization that suicide would solve all my problems...

... if I could just get the right people to try it.

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.

A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. The priest bent close to the grave and heard some faint, unrecognizable mus...

Got stoned once when I had a sudden realization:

I shouldn't have broken the law in Saudi Arabia!

I have developed a fetish for figuring things out

I just came to that realization.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) I have a sexual fetish for intellectual breakthroughs

I struggled for a while, but then I came to a realization

I have come to the realization that I am, in fact, a man trapped inside a woman's body…

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have put the lube next to the glue…

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