UPJOKE
parishomerpeleustrojan warapollohectorancient greekodysseusiliadgreek mythologyajaxnereidtendonstyxpatella

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Everyone knows the story of Achilles, but no one remembers his twin brother Bophadese.

Their mother Thetis, dunked them both into the River Styx to make them immortal. She held Achilles by the heel and Bophades by the testicles, and while everyone has heard of Achilles Heel, very few are familiar with Bophades Nuts.

What's the difference between Achilles and his heel?

One is a legend and the other is a leg end.

I asked my dad why he named me Achilles.

He said, “Because you broke through the Trojan wall.”

Achilles Heel

I named my dog Achilles.
He doesn't heel.
That's his weakness.

Why did Achilles go shoe shopping?

Because heels are his only weakness

I knew that Achilles would die eventually

After all, time wounds all heels.

At his death bed, Achilles realized that they where going to loose the war and uttered his last words.

Defeet hurts.

One day Achilles and Testiclles ar talking

Testiclles said "Why is your name Achilles?" and Achilles said "When my mother dipped me in the river, she held me by my heel. My tendon is my only weak spot" and then he said "And why is your name Testiclles?"

Have you heard of the Ancient Greek hero Bophades?

He’s a lot like Achilles, but instead his weak point was his groin. You’ve heard of Achilles Heel but did you know about Bophades’ nuts?

Achilles was actually a drag queen.

His heels were killing him.

Testiculles and Achilles were talking one day

They got on the topic of how they gained their powers. Achilles told Testiculles about how his mother dipped him into the River Styx, she had held his ankles and that’s why he’s only weak at the ankles. Achilles then asked “Well how did you get your name, Testiculles?”

Testiculles replies, “...

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I’m pretty sure Achilles was gay

He couldn’t leave Patroclus’ behind

My poor knowledge of Greek mythology...

...has always been my Achilles' elbow.

What did Achilles say when he got hit by an arrow?

Aww heel no!






Kill me right now.

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

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In Ancient Greece, a warrior struggles to sort his disciples.

Seeing as he didn’t have the privilege of Roman numerals and didn’t know how to count, he decided to use the ol’ Shepard boy sorts-sheep-by-amount-of-pebbles method, but with a twist. As such, he matches the soldiers in pairs of two based on appearances or, if they sounded similar, by names.

...

My Greek mythology class is killing my GPA.

I guess you could say it's my Achilles' elbow.

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A grammar book walks into a bar

* An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

* A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

* A bar was walked into by the pass...

When I left school, I passed every one of my exams with the exception of Greek Mythology.

It always was my achilles elbow.

Worst name for a shoe brand?

Achilles

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HERCULES: Hey Perseus, have you seen my beer?

PERSEUS: Oh, I think Achilles took it.



HERCULES: Motherfucker!



OEDIPUS: You called?

Have you ever heard of the Greek hero Bophades?

He was one of the heroes who fought in the Trojan War. His story is similar to the story of Achilles. When he was a child, his mother held him by the groin and dipped him in the river Styx, as to make him invincible in battle. However, just like Achilles, he had a weak spot. Because his mother held ...

People say I'm not good with Greek Mythology...

I guess that it's my Achilles wrist.

Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest weakness?

Achilles: *sweats nervously*

It's been less than a day and already I have failed No-Nut November....

Sorry guys, I guess coconuts are my Achilles heel.

I almost had a 4.0 at University.

It turns out that Greek mythology was my Achilles elbow.

Pub Quiz

I did terribly in the Greek Mythology section of the Pub Quiz last night. You could say it's my Achilles Wrist.

Historians have discovered more information about the Ancient Greek hero, Bophades

According to Ancient Greek mythology, Bophades was a powerful hero, much like Achilles. In fact, the two heroes are very similar. Achilles had a weakness in his heels, and historians have now discovered that Bophades had a weakness in his groin. Many people have heard of Achilles's heel, but have yo...

Having a sit down with my advisor

I'm due to graduate from college with Classics and Architecture majors soon, so I had a meeting with my professor.

We sat down and started to look at my grades. All A's and B's down the list until we hit the class I'd taken 3 times.

"What happened with Greek Myths? Was it the profess...

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