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Three Farmers, a Pig and a Monkey

Three Farmers are raising a pig for the fair, trying to put their brains together to beat everyone else out. One of them gets the idea to put a cork in its butt, "if it can't poop it will get huge!" So they do this, and when the fair comes it's the biggest pig the county has ever seen and they win. ...

A bumblebee suddenly wakes up in a cold sweat, realizing he has overslept and is about to miss his connecting flight home after a successful overseas business trip.

He makes a mad rush to the airport, suitcase in one hand, passport and airline ticket in the other. His tie flaps loose in the breeze, his shirt wrinkled and untucked, with his face covered in bushy bumblebee beard stubble.

He recklessly flies into the main entrance, nearly knocking over a fa...

A priest and a nun are caught in a blizzard

They find a deserted cabin and take shelter. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked in for the night the nun calls out, "father, father I'm cold!" so the priest gets up a...

There is an expected condom shortage of 100 million condoms within 6 months.

I’m single-handedly ensuring that I’m not contributing to this shortage.

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Ancient History

Their usual English teacher was sick, and a substitute wanted to engage the class personally. "Tell me
what you last name is and tell you the story behind it".

Jack Faulkner was first. "Your great-great grand father must have trained falcons for a nobleman, to use in hunting
wild animal...

A man finds a genie

As expected he is grated three wishes, but the genie warns him that he is known to be very sneaky and usually turns wishes against their favor.
The man decides to gamble and waste his first two wishes on ensuring he has a perfect
First wish, the man says
'I wish for you to be comple...

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Back in the middle ages, there was a boy named Eddie, who was born as just a head.

His mother, concerned for his well-being, visited a witch in the woods near their house, seeking a remedy for the poor boy's affliction. The witch felt charitable, looking upon the poor body-less infant, and told Eddie's mother that not only would the boy be fine, she would also make him a body! How...

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Computer idiots (Warning: Old)

Any time you feel dumb, don't worry. Check out the following excerpts from a "Wall Street Journal" article by Jim Carlton. Lots of people are dumber than you.

1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" k...

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Once there was a boy in Alabama who loved trains.

It was his life, he’d get his dad to take him to train shows, play with them at home, read books about them in elementary school, the works. In high school he studied and kept his GPA high so he’d be able to go for his dreams: to be a train conductor. Upon graduating high school he got accepted int...

The most dangerous thing about the World Cup being held in Russia

is ensuring the Kremlin doesn't eat after midnight

Preparing for Winter

One year, a young Indian boy was given the task of ensuring the entire village had enough wood for winter. This was the first time he had been given such an honor and he wanted to do it right. Before he went to work he decided to call the weatherman to ask what kind of a winter was to be expected. T...

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A Naked Guy on The Street

Once a naked man was walking down a crowded street, hiding his face behind an umbrella.

On being asked, he said his clothes were stolen at the beach and he was returning home.

He was then asked as to why was he not covering his private parts with umbrella.

His reply: Everybody k...

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