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What's The Similarity Between Jokes

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What's the similarity between a woman living in Saudi Arabia and Amsterdam?

They both get stoned after sex

What's the similarity between dark humor and food?

Some people don't get it.

What's the similarity between free healthcare and good jokes?

Americans don't get them.

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What's the similarity between a Christmas tree and a guy who had a vasectomy?

Their balls are decorative.

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What's the similarity between "getting laid" and "getting laid off" ?

Either way you are fucked.

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What's the similarity between election and erection?

Only dicks can stand in both of them.

What's the similarity between hamsters and cigarettes?

They're both harmless... till you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.

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What's the similarity between Santa's presents and a horny virgin?

They both come in socks.

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What's the similarity between orgasm and pulse?

It doesn't matter if she had it

What's the similarity between 6th Sense and Titanic?

Icy dead people.

What's the similarity between America and Melania Trump?

They're both getting screwed by Donald Trump and neither one of them is happy about it.

I came up with this last night, but it might be a repost.

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What's the similarity between a dick and a McDonald's burger?

They're both smaller and less-filling than advertised.

What's the similarity between the unborn Chinese female and this joke?

[removed]

What's the similarity between a joke and a small, cute, furry mammal?

They both die when dissected

What's the similarity between a pack of chewing gum and a gun?

When you pull it out in class, everyone wants to be friends

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What's the similarity between Hitler and an asthma patient?

Neither of them can finish a race.

What's the similarity between Boris Johnson and the clapper on Big Ben?

They're both massive bell-ends.

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What's the similarity between a nice bunch of flowers and a bitch-demon from hell?

One has pretty petals, the other is the British Home Secretary.

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What's the similarity between getting a blow job from an eighty year old woman and walking a tightrope?

In both cases, you really don't want to look down.

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What's the similarity between a dead Hitler and a cat?

They both have nein lives.

What's the similarity between kids and tattoos

They are both permanent and can be removed with lasers.

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What's the similarity between Hitler and my sister?

They both used chemicals to remove the polish.

What's the similarity between my uncle and sharks?

The both prey on schools

what's the similarity between mod and god ?

they both judge you on the basis of your karma.

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What's the similarity between a woman and a condom?

They both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

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What's the similarity between an alcohol-free beer and your sisters pussy?

When you taste it, it tastes ok. But there's something wrong with it

What's the similarity between black and Mexican jokes?

If you heard Juan, you heard Jamal.

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[OC] What's the similarity between cycling and prison ?

Your ass gets used to it after a couple of months.

What's the similarity between pessimists and people with a phobia of sausages?

They both fear the wurst

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What's the similarity between a bad boxer and a porn star?

They both take a pounding in the ring.

What's the similarity between DiCaprio and this decade?

Both will have dates in 20s.

What's the similarity between DNA and diarrhea?

They both run in the genes.

What's the similarity between Kodak and condoms?

They are both there to catch those special moments.

What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common?

They both come when you're asleep.

What's the similarity between kids with cancer and cancer jokes?

They both never get old.



Is it too dark for this subreddit?

What's the similarity between a dentist and an engineering graduate?

Both like plaques

What's the similarity between a coffin and a condom?

You put a stiff one in both.

What's the similarity between iPhone 7 and my girlfriend?

They both let me stick it in only one place.

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What's the similarity between smoking a cigarette and eating pussy?

The taste changes the closer you get to the butt.

What's the similarity between a river with too much agricultural runoff and really liking someone from the Far East?

One is eutrophication, the other is "You terrific Asian"

What's the similarity between a fresh pair of shorts and a Bugatti bought by a shady businessman?

Both were laundered.

What's the similarity between Santa Claus and a creepy stalker

He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake

What's the similarity between a latin speaker and a necrophiliac?

They both appreciate a dead tongue.

What's the similarity between an honest politician and a flying pig

Neither are real

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What's the similarity between porn videos and youtube let's plays?

Eventually you realise most of it is overreacted and it kinda loses it's appeal.

What's the similarity between women and KFC

Once you've finished with the breast and thighs, all you're left with a greasy box to pop your bone in.

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What's the similarity between a mobile phone and a clitoris?

Both turn on with the touch of a finger and every cunt's got one.

What's the similarity between a blonde and a tornado?

In the beginning there's a lot of sucking and blowing but then she takes half your house

What's the similarity between the moon landings and the holocaust?

They both use a lot of gas to send people far away

What's the similarity between a lion and a tiger?

They are both lions, except for the tiger.

What's the similarity between a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery man?

They can smell it but can't eat it.

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What's the similarity between a long dick and honesty?

You've got neither

:P

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What's the similarity between a table saw and toilet paper?

One wrong move and your finger is fucked.

What's the similarity between Divorce and tornados in the Midwest?

Someone's losing their trailer

What's the similarity between Hellen Keller and a sad pirate?

Neither of them got to sea!

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What's the similarity between being in the mob and...

eating pussy? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit

What's the similarity between an apple and an orange beside that both are fruits?

Both are not a banana.

What's the similarity between a bad postman and an eviction notice

There's nothing worse than the day they come in the mail

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What's the similarity between having sex in a canoe and Pabst Blue Ribbon?

They're both fucking close to water.

What's the similarity between Chris Brown being released and Pokemon Go being released?

An increase in battery cases.

What's the similarity between your wife and a tin roof in a hurricane?

If you didn't nail them properly they'll go see your neighbor

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