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Meaning Jokes

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
"Ben is in a hurry."
"Ben is in a coma."

Amazing how a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence

For example:

-Jane ate her friend's sandwich.

-Jane ate her friend's colon.

The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.

Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch

becomes

Jimmy went to school and ate his colon.

Commas can change the meaning of a sentence.

Example:

I like to eat apples. ---> I like to eat commas.

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I recently learned the meaning of threesome

It's when three people have sex together. And a foursome is the same, but with four people. Now i know, why my teacher always called me a handsome guy

My friend told me that I don't understand the meaning of irony...

...which was ironic because we were at a train station

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

The meaning of life

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back t...

The Meaning of Life

A Redditor walks into a bar and asks the bartender

“Bartender, get me something new and fresh from r/jokes.” He chirped

“Sorry mate, all we have are reposts from the last 8 years”

“How can this be!” The Redditor exclaimed “If I can’t get my fix from r/jokes, then what is the poi...

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They say English surnames all had a meaning, as in, "Smiths" were blacksmiths and "Taylors" were tailors...

So what the fuck did the Dickinsons do?

Two men found many bags full of money. To be grateful, they decided to share it with God, meaning people in need.

The first man drew a line on the floor and said: I'll throw my part through the air, what comes down on the right side is mine, and on the left side is for the poor, that's God's will.

The second man said: I'll throw all my part through the air, and God will give me back what he wants and kee...

I asked a lot of people the meaning of LGBTQ

.
.
None of them gave me a straight answer

The meaning of "politics"

The word "politics" derives from the Greek "poly-", meaning "many", and "ticks", meaning "blood-sucking parasites".

A woman said to her husband: "I just dreamt that you gave me a necklace of pearls. What do you think it means?"

The man smiled and said: "You'll know tonight." That evening, the man came home with a small package which he gave to his wife. She embraced him, and then slowly and unwrapped the package. It contained a book entitled, The Meaning of Dreams.

The real meaning of happiness

Today I donated a watch, a phone and $500 to a poor guy.You can't know the happiness I felt as I saw him put his knife back in his pocket.

There are two kinds of people: those who know the meaning of the word 'inflammable',

and I would like to offer my condolences to the grieving families of the second group.

I found the meaning of life.

It’s on page 937 in the dictionary between the words lie and lifeboat.

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Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw.

So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his
knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion.

The man o...

The Meaning Of Life

A young man goes to search for the meaning of life. He decides to ask around.


The first person he meets is a wealthy man. "That's easy," he says. "The meaning of life is to accumulate wealth. Then you can transform and inspire your community." The young man takes this advice to heart. He ...

What do you call a joke with no meaning?

Life

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A teacher asked the class if anyone knew the meaning of the word contagious.

Little Billy puts his hand up and the teacher says “Billy, you know the meaning of the word contagious?” Billy says “yes Miss, I do!” The teacher replies, “well then Billy, I’d like to see you use it in a sentence” Billy says “ok then, the other day my dad and I were walking down the road and saw a ...

A kind stranger recently taught me the meaning of Plethora ....

Thank you kind sir, It means a lot.

I used to work with a hard working guy who didn't know the meaning of the word surrender, or the meaning of the word capitulate, didn't even know the meaning of the word abandon....

When he retired we bought him a dictionary.

The meaning of the word “oops” is actually highly dependent on context

I learned that when I heard my barber say it and then my brain surgeon later that day

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The true meaning of disappointment is

Running into a wall with a boner and breaking you nose first.

I went to Germany, stood outside a famous baroque composer’s house, and pondered the meaning of life.

That’s what you call thinking outside the Bach’s.

Amber alert has a new meaning now thanks to Amber Heard

It's what the city sends to men when Amber is seen at a bar.

My daughter says she now identifies as a small group of words that have a collective meaning

Should I be worried, or is it just a phrase?

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I always ask what LGBT stands for...

But i never get a straight answer.




Ps: I'm very aware of its meaning(since im very gay).

I just taught myself the meaning of the word "autodidact".

That's it.

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Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of... (NSFW)

Teacher ask Kevin for the meaning of: The Government, The Capitalism, The Working Class, The People, The Future and how they relate to each other.


Kevin gets home and asks his Mom about it; Mom replies: "WTF, you cannot see I'm busy here? Go and ask your dad about it, He is always just wa...

What do you call a Dinosaur who contemplates the meaning of life?

A Philophosaurus.

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The Word Election and Erection Are Spelt Similarly. They also have the same meaning

A dick rising to power!

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I think Matt Hancock misunderstood the meaning...

Of "Eat Out to Help Out".

I've been meaning to make more friends recently...

So I've joined a suicide cult and I'm going to hang with them for a while.

I wanted to thank everyone for sticking with me while I figured out the meaning of “many”

It means a lot

My friend says I don't understand the meaning of "irony"

Despite the fact I keep telling him it's "metallic"

What’s the meaning of eternal love?

Two blind people playing tennis.

Some word can have multiple meanings

A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes ...

I never learn the true meaning of NTR until recently.

'Nothing to report.' Said the girl.

I'm sorry and I apologise have the same meaning

Except in a funeral

If you ever feel like your life has no meaning

Just remember that there is a guy in the BMW factory installing turn signals.

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"Watson, do you know the meaning of the word constipation?"

"No shit, Sherlock"

What is a word meaning "an obnoxious person", beginning with C-U-?

Customer

A husband and wife are doing a crossword puzzle.

Husband: Programs for mobile devices. 4 letters

Wife: Apps

Husband: Adolescent, 4 letters

Wife: Teen

Husband: Contraction meaning failed to perform, 5 letters

Wife: Didn't

Husband: Take a life, 4 letters

Wife: Kill

Husband: Religious songs, 5 l...

The meaning of life

A philosophy professor wants to do a lasting final lecture before retiring, so he chooses to teach about the meaning of life. He gets into the classroom and puts a big empty jar on the table. He starts to fill the jar with cobble to the top and asks the class whether the jar is filled or not. They a...

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