Amazing how a colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence

For example:

-Jane ate her friend's sandwich.

-Jane ate her friend's colon.

When They Say Everything is Coming your Way, there’s 2 Meanings to that.

1.) Everything is going as you expected.

2.) You’re in the Wrong Lane.

Comas can really change the meaning of a sentence...

For instance:
‟Ben is in a hurry.”
‟Ben is in a coma.”

What is a word meaning "an obnoxious person", beginning with C-U-?

Customer

If you ever feel like your life has no meaning

Just remember that there is a guy in the BMW factory installing turn signals.

I'm sorry and I apologise have the same meaning

Except in a funeral

Trump is visiting a class in an elementary school where they are talking about words and meanings

The teacher asks Trump if he would like to lead the class in a discussion of the word “tragedy”.

So he asks the class for an example of a tragedy. One little boy stands up and offers, “if my best friend who lives on a farm is playing in a field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him...

I am offered a job in north-west part of India to write jokes exploiting the different possible meanings of a word or similar sounding words.

Apparently, it's a pun-job!

I hate when people use "big words" they don't even know the meaning, in order to look samrt.

For me, they are completely photosynthetic.

2020 has given an entirely new meaning to drive-by.

More of a shower thought, but it made me chuckle. My kids were invited to a "birthday drive-by" and I don't ever recall a drive-by being a good thing...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A well meaning doctor opened an orgasm clinic for people struggling with sex. nsfw

Nobody came.

What do you call a joke with no meaning?

Life

My friend says I don't understand the meaning of "irony"

Despite the fact I keep telling him it's "metallic"

FPS has many different meanings

60 FPS is great in Mario kart
But there’s 1 FPS at my school

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Nashville man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Nashville.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He the...

What’s the meaning of eternal love?

Two blind people playing tennis.

The use of a colon can really change the intended meaning of a sentence.

Jimmy went to school and ate his lunch

becomes

Jimmy went to school and ate his colon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Commas can really change the meaning of a sentence.

For example:

Let's fuck grandma.

Let's fuck, grandma.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My teacher asked me what's the meaning of the word "mother".

(This joke is originally in my native language; Thai.
Let's see how well this jokes holds up after translation)

She asked me what is the meaning of "mother"?

But I couldn't answer her, so she told me to ask my dad.

So later that evening I asked my dad, "dad, my teacher told m...

My teacher asked me, "What is the meaning of Apocalypse"..

I didn't know what it meant, and she got really angry. I mean come one, it's not like it's the end of the world.

What is the most philosophical book?

The dictionary. It provides the meaning of everything.

I just found out about the second meaning of BBC....

Who cares about British television?

Thanks for explaining the meaning of "many"

It means a lot to me.

What does democracy and football have in common?

Adding the word American completely changes the meaning.

A joke loses it meaning when you explain it.

So the joke here is that i tried to make joke about explaining the joke

My daughter says she now identifies as a small group of words that have a collective meaning

Should I be worried, or is it just a phrase?

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