Albert Einstein created many concepts for modern physics.

His brother, Frank, however, created a monster.

Everyone should be able to grasp the concept that COVID-19 spreads quickly.

Even the president gets it.

I love the concept of infinity.

I could talk about it forever.

In light of the pandemic - we will no longer use the term "immaculate conception"...

It is being updated to "contactless delivery."

The person who discovered the concept of time:

Last time I checked, time wasn't a thing.

I've never understood the concept of bullying

Why are YOU mad that I'M ugly?

An old joke from Germany, when Trump jad just became President...

Trump is on Europe tour. He stops by in Germany and visits Mrs. Merkel in the german pariament; the 'Bundestag'.

He sees that everything there is working out just fine, so he asks her: "How do you do that?"
"What?", she asks.
"That everything works out so well?"

"Oh, that's easy....

A man is explaining the concepts of time travel.

He speaks of how you must not manipulate what happened before, because that is how the current events occurred. However, it may be possible to change what will happen, due to quantum uncertainty.

In summary, he passed the past, presented the present and featured the future.

Honesty

Honesty
- A concept developed by the rich, for the rest of us to continue to live in poverty.

Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

It sounds more like the concept for an awesome store rather than a government agency.

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Do you think an immaculate conception...

Could also be called a Holy Fuck?

Do you know why reddit has the concept of cake day?

Because everyone knows you're not celebrating your real birthday with anyone.

^(It was my birthday a while ago. It's my cake day tomorrow, and here I am.)

Edit : oh my god why. This is already the biggest birthday bash I’ve ever had.

One day, a lawyer finds a genie's lamp.

The lawyer rubs the lamp, and the genie comes out.


"You have three wishes," the genie says. "The only rule is that you can't wish for more wishes."


After thinking for a while, the lawyer finally says, "I wish the word *splork* were interchangeable with the word *wish*. Nex...

A sperm was undergoing training for conception

His instructor said, 'When the siren goes off, rush out the tunnel and swim until you find a red sticky ball. Address the ball and say "I'm a sperm" to which the ball will reply "I'm the egg". You will then work together to form the embryo. Do you understand?'

The sperm nodded. Days later, th...

My son is beginning to truly understand the concept of love.

He recently asked me, "Papa, do you love me"? I answered back with, "Do you want the short answer or the long answer, because the short answer is yes". My son then asked, "Well what's the long answer"? To which I replied, "Indubitably".

In college I became obsessed with the concept of a doppelgänger

I began a quest to find mine. After a year and half of tracking down leads, I uncovered his phone number. I immediately called him but the line was busy.

(popular indian Joke) Why doesnt china have a cricket team?

They eat bats and don't understand the concept of boundaries..

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A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

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Capitalism and politics explained in the best way possible.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your ...

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A urologist meets an insurance agent, and they immediately hit it off.

# Actually, the exact opposite happens

Urologist: You know, we should trade jobs. Any positions open where you work?

Insurance Agent: Why? Is yours just that *piss-poor*?

Urologist: ... No. I just want to show how easy your job is compared to mine.

IA: It's only a mildly ...

I recently read an article that claimed 77% of redditors don't understand the concept of percentages.

That's absurd, there isn't even that many of us.

See Vodafone opened up a concept Hotel recently

There's no Reception

A newly born sperm was receiving instructions in conception from the instructor.

"As soon as you hear the siren, run for the tunnel and swim in a straight line until you get to the entrance of a damp cavern. At the end of the cavern you will find a red, sticky ball which is the egg. Address it and say, 'I'm a Sperm.' She will answer, 'I'm an Egg.' From that moment on you will wo...

Here's a joke about a missing locomotive full of concepts and ideas.

Dang, I just lost my train of thought.

Thieves don't understand the concept of jokes...

...They always take things literally

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family who saw mirror for the first time

a guy from a family which had no concept of a mirror one day found a mirror he looked into it and saw a good looking friendly man looking back at him, he took the mirror home and talked to his reflection all day everyday for a couple days his wife and mother got alarmed and one day decided to check...

I knew this girl who didn't really understand the concept of the "V-Card"

I guess she thought it was an actual, physical card given to everyone at birth. And I guess she didn't understand why she didn't have one. So whenever someone would ask about it, she'd say

"I lost mine when I was too young to remember."

Marketing concepts.

Professor at college explaining marketing concepts to Students:
1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say: "I am very rich. "Marry me!" - That's Direct Marketing"
2. You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to he...

Never discuss the concept of Infinity with a mathematician

they can go on about it forever.

A brilliant scientist successfully creates a lifelike deer cyborg.

Dr. Holmes, after many years of biotechnological research, finally succeeded in his secret project, using funds diverted from his research grant. Because the project needed to be kept off the records, Dr. Holmes kept the deer at home.

The cyborg would grow and develop just as a normal fawn wo...

A woman once gave birth to 100 children and to avoid confusion, she simply named them after the number of their conception. Unfortunately, all of them, except for #90, died at a very young age...

90 was a little girl who grew up to be a great woman.

She married at a young age and gave birth to two children, a daughter and a son.

Unlike her own mother, she gave her offspring actual names.

But their names don't matter.

One day, the daughter and the son came acros...

Parallel universes are a cool concept

but there’s no way I could park in one.

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About a decade ago, Pope John Paul was visiting a convent of nuns, Our Sisters of the Immaculate Conception.

The whole place was so excited about his visit.

Mother Kate put Sister Margaret in charge of getting the finest fish for the dinner with the pope.

Sister Margaret took her task solemnly, and went to the market to get the best catch of the day.

“Good morning, sir. I’d like 12 ...

Who ever invented the concept of zero

Thanks for nothing

Medical Marijuana isn't a new concept.

We've been using smoke to cure things for centuries.

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If a virgin conceiving is called an immaculate conception...

Is a virgin catching venereal disease called an immaculate infection???

What do you call a martial artist who doesn't understand a concept?

Kungfused.

How do you start a religion?

Step 1: Get knocked up.

Step 2: Call it an "immaculate conception".

Step 3: Prophet.

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I heard they were making a new Power Rangers show, so I checked it out.

Since the producers wanted to show to be more fluid to all people, they decided to bring in new rangers. They had all the usual colored rangers, but then they started to add a few more as the show went on.


There were three new rangers that had different disabilities. One was colored ora...

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him."Why do we have to learn this stuff?" the frustrated student blurted out."To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture.A few minutes later the st...

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To all the mathematicians who came up with the concept of zero..

Now they've got a number to put on how many sexual encounters I've had.


Thanks for nothing.

I never understood the concept of lunch money

It doesn't taste any different than regular money.

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A couple at the doctors and the doctor tell the woman she’s pregnant...

... the man says “there’s just no way we always use protection without fail every single time we have sex”

The doctor says, sir, let me tell you a story;
There once was a hunter who took his gun with him everywhere he went, he was never without his gun. One day he accidentally picked up h...

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Male sexbots are an interesting concept in theory

Until you try one and you lose him because he nuts and bolts

Where did this concept of kidnappers using white vans come from?

I mean, I just use my Prius, stop being so stereotypical, jeez.

India is credited with creating the concept of 0.

Thanks for nothing, India.

The BBC are setting up a theme park and asked the public what BBC show concept they would most like to ride. The number one survey response was simply...

"Benedict Cumberbatch."

Where was the concept of exaggeration invented?

Everyone knows.

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My girlfriend and I went skinny dipping in the ocean...

The water was cold and when we got out, she pointed at my dick and started laughing. I had to explain to her what shrinkage was, and that it was not always the same size. After some discussion, she understood the concept and said, “so you’re about 2 inches, on average?”

I replied, “Well, that...

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I love the concept of karma.

It means all the people I mistreat and fuck over every day must have it coming.

Friday Lunch


Oh lunch how I long for you so
Quickly to noon i hopeith this day go
I have been preparing for your flavor since your conception last night
Merely your presence at my feet brings delight

Turkey, cheese, horseradish oh my
My only regret is that you're not perched on ...

I was testing children in my Sunday School class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered in unison.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?...

Did you hear about the episode concept for Doctor Who where The Doctor accidentally falls into a food themed alternative dimension?

He was attacked by The Garlics

Elderly conception

An elderly couple go to the doctors office. They explain they would like to convince a child. The doctor explains how difficult it will be but the couple is persistent. He agrees to help and hands the old man a jar and tells him to fill it and bring it back.
The following day the couple return t...

Jaguar just announced an XK-E Concept car they will show at the Frankfurt Auto Show this year.

They had been working on it for 10 years but they only recently figured out how to make it leak oil

The concept of a shredder is

grate on paper.

Did you hear the one about that kid who lied about having brain cancer for awards and upvotes?...

Apparently he hasn't heard the concept of "karma"

I'll try to explain the concept of lubricated soap....

...but its quite difficult to grasp.

The concept of drilling for oil was ridiculous in the mid 19th century.

Now we just see it as groundbreaking.

Personal space is a concept I did not understand in Kindergarten

I guess that's why they fired me.

So I was reading the Wikipedia article about Occam’s Razor...

...and the entire concept went completely over my head. I read the article over and over trying to get my head around it but I was totally lost. It got to the point that I started thinking that someone had made the article confusing as a joke. Maybe Occam’s Razor isn’t even a real thing? Maybe its j...

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive...

Donald Trump, 2012.

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I have more memory of my conception than I do of last Saturday night...

though sometimes I really wish my parents hadn't done porn.

An eccentric professor brings a cloning machine into class to illustrate a difficult concept...

One student, gesturing to the demonstration, decides to reach out to his overachieving friend.
"I just don't understand what that thing does."
His friend, clearly bothered by the situation, snaps back, "that makes two of us!"

I don't understand the concept of foreskin

It goes right over my head

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Several years ago, a group of artistic polymaths decided to mathematically represent different styles of painting.

Each of the polymaths was a leading figure in a different field of mathematics, and each pursued and studied a different style of painting. Together, they decided that if they co...

The driest, most esoteric joke I know.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic considering all the bars he frequents, to which the horse replies ~~I don't think I am"~~ "I think not!" POOF! The horse disappears.

This is the point in time when all the philosophy students in the audience begin to...

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Stolen concept, but funny nonetheless.

A farmer walked into his bedroom holding a lamb, waking his wife. He says "this is the pig I've been fucking." His wife says "that's not a pig, that's a lamb." The farmer yells " shut the fuck up, I was talking to the lamb!"

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A couple's children get together to ask their him about the origin of their names.

"I suppose you're all old enough that we can tell you the real story. Each of you were named according to the circumstances surrounding your conception," the father said.

"What about me?" asked his first child.

"Well, Breckenridge, your father and I took our honeymoon to go skiing and ...

I'm a very hairy guy, so...

...to me, the whole concept of manscaping is pretty nuts.

Free Speech - West vs East

A Russian diplomat and an American diplomat are discussing the differences between their two systems.

The American tries to make it easy for the Russian to understand the concept of free speech.

"Anytime I want", says the Yank, "I can walk right up to the top of the steps at Capital Hi...

A lot of people think an egg is a chicken fetus

But actually, that’s a common missed conception

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