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Content Jokes

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A horse walked into a bar

Bartender: Hey

Horse: Yes please
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I wasn't sure that Netflix would ever find success producing their own content. Then again...

Stranger Things have happened.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pornhub was just banned in Arkansas, but there's a catch. Before you can gain access, you have to watch at least one video of dwarf MILF content.

That's the bare mini mum.

Good news! Now that OnlyFans is getting rid of adult content

Your local restaurants will be able to hire servers again.
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A tanker ship carrying dark purple ink ran around on a deserted island, spilling its contents.

Sadly, the entire crew was marooned.
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What do OnlyFans content creators and car tyre manufacturers have in common?

They both give you load ratings
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What's the difference between the contents of a man's wallet before and after kids?

Before kids the pictures on the paper in his wallet had faces of presidents on them...
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OnlyFans launched a new step sibling content adult website...

They call it OnlyFams!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How it's like being a researcher for pornographic content on the Internet?

It's Hard.

Netflix has been making some questionable decisions on its content

Then again, I've seen Stranger Things
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With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.

A coronaissance, if you will.
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A Linguist, a musician, and a content creator walk into a bar

They all start using slurs
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\r\jokes has the funniest most original content

But at least I don't have Alzheimer's.
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In Alabama, they're not worried about OnlyFans restricting adult content

They use OnlyFams.
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A man emptied a punching bag of its content and filled it with Guinness books.

He then proceded to beat all records.
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I heard a rumor that r/jokes is getting an "Original Content" flair to help Redditors avoid cut&paste reposts

I heard a rumor that r/jokes is getting an "Original Content" flair to help Redditors avoid cut&paste reposts
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Redditor told me “Yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get most of the content on r/jokes.”

“Oh yeah?” I said, “well, yo momma’s so dumb that she doesn’t get *any* of the content on r/all.”

I wanted to come back with something original, but all I could muster was a shitty riposte.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly couple in a senior's home used to visit the recreation room everyday. While there, the old lady would sit quite contently holding the old guys's penis. One day she goes down to the rec. room and is mortified to find her man with another woman holding his penis.

"What's she got that I don't have" she says. He looks up with a large smile on his face and replies "Parkinson's"

Did you know Ariel is in new Little Mermaid content?

She started an OnlyFins.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Early one morning, you pull down your favourite cup, only to find a small dragon, curled up and sleeping contentedly inside.

Confused and still half asleep you take the cup outside to empty the dragon carefully onto the grass, then return to rinse your cup and make coffee. The next morning he is back, curled snuggly inside the cup as before and you repeat the process.

After a week of repeating this process you make...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A monkey walks up to the lion and starts taunting him

"You stupid jerk! You cannot do anything to me", the lioness looks at the lion hearing that and gets surprised of his lack of reaction.

The monkey goes on "Imma fuck your momma you stupid lion!", the lion keeps ignoring the monkey, so the lioness asks "honey are you going to allow this peasa...

The following content is not suitable for miners.

Cave-ins.
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Greta Thunberg must love reddit

Most of the content here is recycled
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Why do pirates love reddit?

It be the best place to exchange stolen content for gold.
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While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed.

His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.


"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."


"No problem, just let ...
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I really think OSHA should make an OnlyFans account

They're some of the leading experts in NSFW content after all
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do Hitler and EA have in common?

*You are missing the Punchline Pack. Please purchase the Reddit Season Pass to reveal missing content*

The world's richest man is dying...

The world's richest man is dying. He has made peace with that.

But what is bothering him so much is that no one in the afterlife will even know that he has amassed such a colossal personal fortune. On Earth, everyone knows he's a self-made man who built this huge fortune from scratch, but he...
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With all the video content available these days...

It's hard to believe that for five whole years we came back to watch Tattoo yell "the plane, the plane."
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Today is the first time I visited r/Jokes and couldn't understand why there's no flair called "Original Content"

Now I understand.
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There are so many reposts on this sub that all hope seems lost on original content. This post will say otherwise.

Otherwise.
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I went to an adult website and searched for good Christian content.

Turns out it was all missionaries.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I agree that there should be different NSFW tags for violent and sexual content

Nothing changes my mood more than seeing naked people while I'm trying to enjoy horrible gore.

How much of Reddit content is made up of recurring themes?

69%
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A rabbit is captured and taken to a medical laboratory to be used for experiments . . .

There, he befriends a rabbit who was born and raised in the lab. One day, he notices that the researchers didn't latch his cage properly and he decides to make a break for it. He tells the lab rabbit how great it is on the outside and convinces him to come along.

First, the wild rabbit take...

I’m pleased to announce reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world.

The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content.
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What do you call a vampire that checks the calorie content of these between meals?

Count Snackula.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Content NSFW) man walks into a bar on St. Paddy's day and gets tapped on the shoulder by a leprechaun.

A man walks into a bar on St. Paddy's day and gets tapped on the shoulder by a leprechaun. The man turned around and the leprechaun asks "how old are you?" The man replies "I am 29 years old." The leprechaun nodded then said "You have a family don't you?" The man repied "Yes, I have 2 kids and a...

Netflix’s original content has some stiff competition.

I heard they’re shooting something at YouTube HQ today.
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Garbage can

An old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school.

He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment.

Then a new school year began.

The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came dow...
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They say that Christmas is a Pagan holiday, but...

A senior figure secretly dispensing the contents of his sack for every child he can get to sounds pretty Catholic to me.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A scientist turns up a bottle then immediately spits the contents across the room.

You said that was water! It tastes like fucking peroxide!

You asked what I was drinking I said H^(2)O. Then you asked what was in that bottle and I said ," That's H^(2)O^(2)'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara [NSFW]

A nun and a priest are crossing the Sahara on a camel. On the third day, the camel dies with little warning. As they dust themselves off, the nun and priest appraise their situation. After a long silence, the priest states:
'Well, sister, this looks to be pretty serious.'
'I know, father. As a...

What did the Spanish guy say when he saw original content?

Oh si
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If wine is jesus' blood, doesn't that make blood/alcohol content "blood/blood" content...

...officer.
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Reddit's logo should be a bit more green.

To symbolize the amount of reused and recycled content.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sex is like original content on r/Jokes

A lot of people don't get it.

Newsflash! Tanker truck carrying brine has crashed and spilled its contents all over the highway.

Motorists are reported to be in a pickle.
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I have never seen my all time favorite joke here, so I will submit relatively original content, enjoy!

There was a newspaper in a very small Midwestern farming town, comes out once a week with local news like the new library books, or the preachers sermon, and school fundraisers. One day the editor calls the reporter in and says, "I don't know what to do about the next issue. There isn't a damn thin...
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What's better? Original content or a repost?

A repost.

Why?

Because nothing is better than original content but a repost is better than nothing.
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If I had a dollar for every time someone reposted my content

I'd be broke because my posts aren't good enough to be reposted
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My colleague offered to help me filter adult contents from more than a thousand hours of video.

Nah, thanks. I'm gonna do it single handedly
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.

He loved them dearly, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat explosive effect on him.


One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself, “she’ll never go through with the marriage with me carrying on like this,” so...
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I’m starting a club that prints out and mails content from r/jokes to people without internet.

It’ll be called the re-postal service.
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What’s full of virgins, reposts, and funny original content?

Reddit. i lied about the funny original content.

What do you call a thankful German piece of internet content?

Danke, meme.
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The content of this post is true.

The title of this post is false.
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I just donated the contents of my wallet, my iPhone X, and my $10,000 Rolex watch to some poor guy living on the streets.

You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he put his gun back into his pocket.
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Which bird is the most contented?

The crow. He never complains without caws.
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Heard this at a wedding

A woman and her husband had been married for 60 years and had remained faithful and loving this entire time. However, the woman did have one secret; a shoebox in her closet. The shoebox itself was not a secret, but the wife had told the husband that he was never to open or ask about the box, so the...
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What do you call the snack that reveals all the intel of the contents in your lunchbox?

Julian a sandwich
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Did you hear the one about the baker who dominated the pastry competition through determination and superior sugar content?

He went in all buns glazing.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young man stopped at a local restaurant after a day of roaming around in Spain

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious-looking platter being served at the next table.

It looked good.

It smelled good.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's te...

how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
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WARNING 18+ CONTENT

18+4
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so I hear r Kelly's music has been removed from Spotify for hate content

when asked what he thought of this he said. ''if I could turn back the hands of time,....
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Buzz feed steal so much content they should rename themselves

The Appropriated Press
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What is something that feels british but isn’t?

The contents of the British Museum.
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TIL That in 2014 Netflix announced they wouldn't be pursuing science-fiction themed original content.

But Stranger Things have happened.
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Ellen Pao walks into [this content violates our ban on anti-reddit propoganda policy and his thus been banned ]

*Admin Note:*

*The next user to make a joke about our glorious leader Ellen Pao shall be banned along with the offending subreddit.*

*Signed:*

*Grand Vizier Hippo Hamburger*
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Reddit has been cracking down on child pornography content lately

They're still letting people show Ajit Pai's asshole though

Q: Why does it seem most Titles on the Front page have nothing to do with the content of the post?

A: Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
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What did the scientist say after discovering the medicinal content of homeopathic remedies ?

0mg !!!!
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/r/Jokes/ wins Friend of the Planet award!

for 95% recycled content.
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Gift for sweetheart

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart for her
birthday. As they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration
he decided a pair of gloves would strike just the right note: romantic, but
not too personal.

Accompanied by the sweetheart's sister, he w...

Never tell a scientist that his Blood Alcohol Content is a problem...

He'll tell you it's a solution...
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A joke finally containing original content

Original content.
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A construction worker asked me to make a joke about the contents of his toolbox.

Unfortunately, I don't have any drill bits.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had 12 bottles of whisky...

I had twelve bottles of whisky and my wife told me to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or else there'd be hell to pay.

So, I said I would and proceeded with the sad task.

I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the...

Where do they make contentment?

At the satis-factory.
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If a redditor who is going into labour posts an original content (picture) of her in the ward...

Is it polite to say "OP will deliver?"
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I love how eco conscious this sub is.

All the top content is recycled.
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Could we get length/content tags, To better find certain kinds of joke?

When I don't have a lot of time because I'm just on reddit during my break it would be cool to look up short one liner type joke. Some time I'm looking for longer jokes. I feel like this could benifit the sub alot.
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What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.
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Stuttering Bible Salesman

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who wo...
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A boy wants to ask a girl to prom, and he really likes her so he goes all out...

He goes to the florist to buy some flowers, but the line is out the door. He thinks, "that's okay, she's worth it," and waits an hour in the flower line.

Next he goes to the candy store to get some really nice chocolates and again, the line is absurdly long. Again he thinks, "that's okay, I'...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elderly man suspects that his wife may be losing her hearing

He knows his wife doesn't want to accept the fact that she is getting older and isn't as youthful as she used to be. So he goes to the doctor himself to ask if anything can be done about it.

Man: Doc, I think my wife may be losing her hearing. Is there anything I can do for her?

Docto...

A leopard is walking through the jungle when he sees a lost dachshund in the distance...

He stealthily begins to stalk up on him, intent on making a meal of him. However, the dachshund catches a glimpse of him out of the corner of his eye. Knowing that there's no way he can win a footrace against a leopard, he decides to employ other tactics; he sits down by a nearby pile of bones. Once...
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