What is the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other head.

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You know who gives no fucks by definition?


What would high definition be called if invented in Paris?

The French resolution!

Teacher: You shouldn't use a word to define itself because circular definitions are not useful.

Student: Why is there a giant poster on your wall that says "No Means No"?

Do you know the definition of"perfect pitch?"

When you toss a banjo into a dumpster & it hits an accordion!

What's the definition of a Yankee?

It's like a quickie, but you do it to yourself.

The definition of chutzpah:

Is the man who killed his parents who asks for mercy from the court.
The judge asks “On what grounds should we grant you mercy?”
Man “On the account of I’m an orphan!”

This is a very old one.
#yiddish is fun

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A kindergarten teacher one day is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word “definitely.” To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a sentence.

The first student raises his hand and says, “The sky is definitely blue.”

The teacher says, “Well, that isn’t entirely correct, because sometimes it’s gray and cloudy.”

Another student says, “Grass is definitely green.”
The teacher again replies, “If grass doesn’t get enough wate...

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What is the definition of torque?

When you have to piss with morning wood, you push your dick down so hard that your feet fly out from under you. That's torque.

The definition of stupidity is When you have a Land Rover, a Land Cruiser....

But still have a Landlord.....

What's the definition of a Soviet String Quartet?

A Soviet Symphony Orchestra after a trip to the USA.

Whats the definition of Specimen ?

An Italian Astronaut

I'll never use that dictionary again...

The definition it gave for "obfuscate" was confusing and misleading.

I was talking to a girl and she asked me to give her the definition of a double entendre...

So I gave it to her.

I keep googling “what is the definition of insanity” to find a joke I heard a while ago...

But I keep getting the same results

What's the definition of a Freudian slip?

It's when you say one thing, but you mean your mother.

What's the definition of a reverse exorcism?

It's when you ask the Devil to get the priest out of your little boy

The first high definition photos have been received from the Mars rover, Perseverance.

As I predicted, it has found a McDonalds with a drive-thru lane, and a Walmart Supercenter.

It has also started receiving calls from telemarketers.

What is the definition of bravery?

A man with diarrhea chancing a fart!

Hey Jesus. How did you get abs and look so lean with muscular definition?

Jesus: Well basically a strict diet and CROSS FIT.

I was certain that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result...

but every dictionary I check says something else.

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The definition of tragedy

Donald Trump was visiting a primary school in Orlando and visited a 4th grade class. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Mr.Trump if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy.' So our illustrious POTUS asked the class for an...

So, Richard Feynman applies for a job...

Interviewer: Now comes the part of the interview where we ask a question to test your creative thinking ability. Don’t think too hard about it, just apply everyday common sense, and describe your reasoning process.

Here’s the question: Why are manhole covers round?

Feynman: They’re not...

They must have updated the definition of WAP.

I no longer see Wireless Access Points on Google...

People are always telling me that “mean” and “rude” have the same definitions. So I ask them,

"what do you rude?"

Can anyone tell me the definition of a Will?

Cmon guys it's a dead giveaway

What's the definition of a misogynist?

A man who hates every bone in a woman's body except his.

What is the definition of mixed feelings?

When your mother-in-law is driving your new Tesla towards a cliff.

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One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One day, a teacher assigns the class to find out the definition of “politics.”

One little boy in the class goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she...

Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of ‘many’.

It means a lot!

What's the definition of an essential worker?

Someone who is only paid enough to buy the essentials.

I'd like to thank everyone who taught me the definition of 'many'

it really means a lot

I’m grateful to you for teaching me the definition of ‘abundance’

It means a lot.

The definition of a consultant is..

..someone who can tell you on your watch what time it is

Hungarian joke from the 1950s

Definition of socialism: the incessant struggle against conditions that would not exist in any other system.

What's the definition of endless love?

Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder playing a tennis match.

The definition of a perfectionist

Someone who wants to go from point A to point A+

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It’s down to the final two at a championship spelling bee.

The contestant gets up to the microphone and the judge tells him the word is “walk.”

Confused, the contestant asks for a definition.

“To move about or travel on foot for exercise or pleasure.”

The contestant asks for a sentence to confirm what could be his final word was reall...

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[NSFW] What's the definition of disgusting?

Ramming five raw oysters up your grandma's pussy,
and sucking out six.

Don't be ashamed of you don't know the definition of the word 'esoteric'

Only a small number of people are likely to understand.

What is the definition of parallel lines?

You just described your love life..

Definition of Disappointment.....

Running into a wall with a hard-on.... and breaking your nose.

The definition of Elongates

When Bill Gates and Elon musk collaborate to create a drug that cures erectile dysfunction.

What's the definition of Necrophilia?

The irresistible urge to crack open a cold one.

What is the definition of pain?

A one armed man hanging off a cliff with an itchy bum.

Today, somebody took the time to explain to me the definition of myriad

It means a lot

I'm not sure of the definition of Occam's Razor

but I'm sure it's a simple one.

Where can you find the definitions of different types of drugs?


What is the definition of the jewish dilemma?

Free pork

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What is the definition of desperate?

A vampire sucking on a used tampon

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What's the definition of "relative humidity"?

That's when the sweat off your balls runs down the crack of your sister-in-law's ass.

(Too rude?)

The definition of "coprophile"

is someone who gets off through a process of elimination

Definition of Evil intent.....

Satan living in a wigwam.

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What's the definition of safe sex in Alabama ?

Locking your car door before humping your cousins

What’s the definition of a good farmer?

A man outstanding in his field

What's the definition of cruel?

Announcing parents evening at an orphanage.

What’s the definition of minor surgery?

An operation performed on somebody else.

What's the definition of irony?

To not know the difference between a definition and an example.

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Panda Definition

A Panda Bear walks into a café and orders a
sandwich and a drink. After he is finished eating,
the waiter comes over to bring him the check.
When the waiter arrives at the table, he just
starts to ask 'Would you like any des...' Then the
Panda Bear reaches into his fur, pulls out a gu...

The definition of an asparagus:

A bean with aspirations of becoming a paintbrush.

Do you know the definition of incorrectly?

If it goes in smooth and feels good then it's incorrectly!

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Whats the definition of indefinitely???

When your balls are slapping up against the arse, your in-definitely.

Propaganda correct definition

When someone from Boston takes a really good look at something.

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