UPJOKE
hotcoldfriendlyheatfreshheartylukewarmtepiddrygentlemildsweetcomfortablestrongquick

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What's the warmest organ in a dead body?

My dick

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My grandma used to tell us this joke. She’d say, “knock knock,” we’d say, “who’s there?”

Then she’d say “I can’t remember!” and start to cry. And we’d laugh and laugh to make her feel better, but she was shit at telling jokes.

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What’s the warmest part in a dead girls body?

My Penis

What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?

Climax.

Scientists are saying that this year was one of the warmest on record

Don't worry though, they say that every year

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A Neapolitan joke...

A young man is having a hard time selling his goods on the street... "Coats for $50, watches for $25" he shouts whenever someone walks by, but even the few people who stop don't purchase.

Eventually an old Neapolitan man approaches and tells him he's doing it all wrong. "Step back and watch h...

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Life is long and for one to live, one must find one fuck to give.

Life is long
and for one to live,
one must find
one fuck to give.

Some days life's good
some days it sucks,
yet I still remain
with zero fucks.

I've searched and searched
then searched some more,
til every place
had been explored

Looked high and low...

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Bombs and Berries (Long) (Original)

Back Story: During World War 2, it was super cold in Nazi Germany. The American troops were told if they were ever in a rough situation, to look for frozen squirrels at the base of trees. Then place the frozen squirrel between their thighs (the warmest part of the body) to warm it up. The squirls wo...

It took forever for them to schedule a date...

There's this man and a woman who seem to like each other, but between work and life, they have had a heck of a time carving out the time to actually go on a date! Finally things line up, and they arrange to have dinner at a nice restaurant one day after work.

To make matters worse, on the way...

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Fish jokes

One fish says to the other, “You drink like a fish.”
The other fish responds, “So do you.”

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people.

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.

What fish is best to have in a boat?
A Sailfish.
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