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So it's a chilly morning in Brno, and everybody 's in line to buy meat.

They're waiting and waiting, and the line's not moving at all.

Eventually a Party official comes out and says "Due to the conspiracy of wreckers, there isn't enough meat. All the Jews need to get off the line".

So the Jews all get off the line and go home, but still everyone's waiting ...

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I told my girlfriend that when I die, I want her to take my ashes, mix them with a bowl of chilly from Wendy’s and eat it.

That way, I can tear up that ass one last time.

My girlfriend likes it chilly in the bedroom.

But honestly, im not a fan.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank.

Proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Chilly

Did you know that you can freeze a human to -273.15 C and he'd be 0K

I was a bit chilly and my dad told me to go stand in the corner.

The corner is 90 degrees.

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What do you call a chilly vagina dentata?

A chatterbox.

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A nun was driving down the highway late on a chilly....

........October afternoon and stopped to pick up a hitchhiker. He was a handsome fellow and the nun looked him over from head to toe, then blushed and quickly looked away. But soon enough her gaze wandered over to him again, and when it happened a third time, her passenger said bluntly, "Sister, I h...

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John an Jim are in college and exam time has come

John gets in the classroom with the professor and starts speaking to him and answering his questions.

Professor then asks him: "This is the most important question, you cannot pass if you don't answer it. You are in a train and it is extremely hot inside. What will you do?"

John answe...

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After his examination, the doctor said to the elderly man: 'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. "After I have sex with the wife, I am usually cold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

The doctor could not find any explanation for this.

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: 'E...

Why did the jalapeño ask for the window to be closed?

He was a little chilly

Cop spots a guy driving past with a South American plate. He's eating some kind of Mexican food and has no clothes on! He pulls him over and asks, "Where are you from? What are you eating? Aren't you cold?"

"Chilly", he replies.

I live in Nashville.

Weather is nice here in the Nashville area this weekend. Sunny. A little chilly though so must be a.......draft....

A black dude and a white dude are peeing from a bridge over a river

White dude goes :_"That wind is a tad chilly"
Black dude goes: _"Yeah that water too"

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What do you call a cold hot dog?

A chilly Willy

I’m from a future where Trump won re-election and solved Global Warming

Just a heads up though, nuclear winter is a bit chilly.

What do you call a mint that’s made out of peppers?

A chilly chili.

My girlfriend dropped this on me after some Tex-Mex last night ...

"I'm chilly"

She steps closer and takes my hand

"Will you be my con queso?"

And before I could even respond ...

"Sorry, was that too cheesy for you?"

What did the farmer say about his hot pepper farm in the mountains?

It's a little chilly.

Top 20 worst jokes ever !!!!

The 20 Worst Jokes Ever!

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The
Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve
You, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a...

After the helicopter crash, the blond pilot was asked what happened.

She replied, "It was getting chilly in there, so I turned the fan off."

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The Danceologist

A man was sitting at a bar in London, and ordered a drink.

"So, who are you?", asked the bartender.

"I'm a danceologist. I've studied every dance in the entirety of Oceania".

"Even the Wingo Wango?"

"Mhm", he replied.

"Even the Yapucha dance?", he asked.

"Wa...

A blonde crashes a helicopter

A policeman arrives shortly and helps the blonde out from the wreckage. "How did this happen?",questions the policeman. The blonde replies,"It got chilly so I turned off the fan."

My 8 year old cousin asked me if I wanted to hear a joke

Amanda: "I want to tell you a joke. Okay:
A snowman wants to go on vacation.
He wants to go to Chile because he thinks it will be chilly--BUT--he actually lands in a bowl of chilli.
Then he dies."

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26 groaners

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.



2. I thought I saw an eye-doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.



3. She was only a whiskey-maker, but he loved her still....

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I'm Afraid of Graveyards

It was a chilly February evening. I had just arrived home from a long day at work and threw open the door on my house. My Rottweiler jumped on me, and before I even took off my coat we were going on a walk. We passed the graveyard. A fresh grave had been dug immediately adjacent to the entrance, and...

Best joke I've ever made

*I open the door to leave the house*
Me: It's raining outside?
Mom: Yeah, and it's chilly; you might want a jacket.
Me: It's raining chili?!

50 of the LEAST offensive jokes I know

1. What's a pirate's favorite letter? "**Arrrr!**" "No. Ya'd think so, but me first love be the C"
1. Why wasn't 6 excited that 7, her boyfriend, won her a prize at the fair? Because 711492.
1. Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
1. Why d...

A penguin's car breaks down

So he takes it to the mechanic. The mechanic tells him that its going to be a couple of hours until he can get to it. "Oh man," the penguin replies. "It's too hot here for me, I'm a penguin after all." The mechanic tells him there is a grocery store across the street, maybe he can wait there. So the...

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The Italian Stallion and more

The Italian Lover

A virile, middle-aged Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired...

Ole and Sven go to Hell (long)

One day, Satan was walking through Hell, making sure the souls were properly tormented, until he came upon an unusual sight. Sitting next to a lava pool were Ole and Sven, decked out in parkas, hats, boots and gloves.

Confused, Satan walks up to them and asks them why they're dressed for win...

Do you know The perfect system to avoid condom accident ?

The perfect system to avoid condom accident,
use double condom with chilly powder in between,
if outer breaks she will know ,
if inner breaks u will know.

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Isn't that some shit!?

One day all the sparrows got together to fly south for the winter, the one little sparrow tells his buddies he's not ready to fly quite yet and to go on without him. About a week later it starts to get cold out, so the sparrow figures he better start his journey.
As he is flying south it starts t...

A nurse is working in the office

A rather incompetent nurse is working in her employer's office when she notices how chilly it is. She turns to the doctor and asks "Should I turn up the temperature in here?" The doctor- a very short-tempered man- says "I don't know. It all depends on what type of clothing our customers are wearing,...

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The Sami temperature scale

(ed: the Sami are an indigineous people living in the northern parts of Scandinavia, also called Lapland)

+10°C: Inhabitants of Helsinki turn off the heat. The Sami plant flowers.

+5°C: If the sun rises over the horizon, it's sunbathing time for the Sami

+2°C: Italian cars won't...

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