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Warm Weather Jokes

Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell.

Two guys from Michigan die and wake up in hell. The next day, the devil stops to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire.
The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, yo...

Did you know it's cheaper to buy pies in warm weather climates?

Cherry pie in Jamaica - $4.25
Blueberry pie in Cuba - $3.50

Those are some of the pie-rates of the Caribbean.

Jewish Joke About Warm Weather

אחי היה לי כלכך חם שהבטחתי שאם יציעו לי להתנצר בזה הרגע אני אעשה את זה רק בשביל ההטבלה.

Dude. It was so hot, I swear that I'd convert to Christianity for the Baptism.

Lottery winner

Husband gets home in a very good mood. He calls his wife and says:

\- Woman, pack your bags! You're going on a trip! I won the lottery!!!

\- Oh honey, that's fantastic!! But what kind of clothes should I pack for this trip? For warm weather, cold weather?

\- It doesn't matter, a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Lottery win!

A woman is at home when her husband suddenly bursts in excitedly through the front doors and says "Get ready to pack your bags honey... I just won big in the lottery"!
"Oh my God" she exclaims..."should I pack for warm weather or cold weather"?
"I don't know" he says "just get the fuck out"!

A woman rushes into her house one morning and yells to her husband, "Sam, pack up your stuff. I just won the lottery!"

"Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"


"Whatever. Just so you're out of the house by noon!"

A couple move to Nevada and the husband hits it big at the casino

He rushes into his house and yells to his wife,

"Pack up your things. I just won a million dollar slot machine jackpot!"

The wife replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"

The husband responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the house by noon."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You're not depressed...

I was at the beach and noticed a younger guy who was moping and looking sad. To make matters worse the guy was scrawny and couldn't have weighed more than a 100 lbs.

I walked up to the guy and said "hey buddy what's wrong? It's a beautiful day at the beach and there's nothing but gorgeous...

At a crowded garden party.

So, a couple years back, I was at a pretty fancy outdoors party. It seemed like the whole town was there. But the atmosphere was nice, and the local band played some good music, so I enjoyed myself.

I thought I'd like a nice cold beer in the warm weather, so I went over to the bar. As I appro...

God decides it's time for a vacation...

...so he consults with a few of his angels to figure out where he should go for some much needed rest and relaxation. The first angel to speak up says "Well, sir, I hear Mercury is nice this time of year. It's nice and warm, you could catch some rays and maybe get a nice tan."
"That could be nic...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Betting Jokes

Last night I got thrown out of the casino. As a sports bettor I completely misunderstood the crap table.

~

A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, “Suzan, pack up your things. I just won a ฿1000 20 leg parlay!” Suzan replies, “Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?” The man ...

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