UPJOKE
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Taken With Jokes

Got my picture taken with R.E.M. the other day....

That's me in the corner.

How can you tell if a picture was taken with a GoPro?

because the owner will tell you

I just had a photo taken with REM...

That’s me in the corner!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

On his recent visit to England Trump is very taken with all the pomp and regalia of royalty...

So while having dinner seated next to the Queen he announces boldly that from here on in he would like the USA to be referred to as the "United Kingdom of America!"
The Queen shakes her head and says somewhat admonishingly, "My dear Donald you can't do that - you are not a King".
A bit defe...

In Hollywood, all facts are supposed to be taken with a grain of...

Coke

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you have the time, here is Norm Macdonald's moth joke as presented in his book, "Based on a True Story".

A moth goes into a podiatrist's office, the podiatrist says. What's the problem?

The moth says, where do I begin with my problems? Every day I go to work for Gregory Vasilovich, and all day long I toil. But what is my work? I am a bureaucrat, and so every day I joylessly move papers from one ...

I was sitting at the bar alone the other day, then a pretty lady asked me if the seat is taken with a gentle smile on her face. So I said “of course not, by all means, have a seat”

“Thank you so much”, she replied

And proceeded to take the chair.

There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My Father’s Favorite Joke

One day, a man goes to a remote village and goes to the pub. He is completely taken with how incredible the bar is. Eventually he speaks to the barman and tells him how he has travelled the world but that this is the most beautiful bar he has ever seen. The barman says:
“You like this bar, hr...

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