How long did it take for the first guy to get covid?

He got it right off the bat

How long does it take for a crow to eat a dead squirrel on the road?

It depends on the traffic


(English is not my first language so sorry for any mistake)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you take for a pain in the ass?

Anusthetic.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How long does it take for jake pauls mum to take a shit

9 months

How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh

Tenticels

How many birthdays does it take for someone to realize they aren’t funny?

I know I’m not funny just laugh so I feel good... it’s my birthday

Doctor, How long will it take for me to recover from this accident?

Doctor: Physically 6 months and financially 12 years

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How long does it take for a baby to explode in a microwave?

I do not know, I close my eyes when I masturbate

How many times does it take for someone to enjoy fisting?

A handful.

How long does it take for an owl to die?

Six and a fifth books.

What does a Satanist take for a headache?

Ibu-profane.

How many drinks does it take for two irishmen to fight to the death?

None

How long does it take for you to hit the ground after slipping on a banana peel?

One banano-second.

How many jokes does it take for a redditor to laugh?

One original one.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How long will it take for Rammstein's new album to be released?

'Till Lindemann has finished the lyrics.

How long does it take for an Irish man to get to a .08 BAC?

Approximately 2 days of sobriety.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"How much money would it take for you to drink out of a non-flushed toilet bowl?"

"A shitload"

How long does it take for a newborn to fall from the empire state building?

About 16 seconds

How long does it take for a national tragedy to become funny?

About 9-11 years

What does it take for a Beatles reunion?

Two Bullets.

What do snakes take for their sniffles?

Antihissssstamines!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How long does it take for a GNOME developer to take a shit?

I don't know, how long until the next version of GNOME?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

2 college students accidentally miss the math final exam

The next day they both went to plead with their professor. He was feeling pretty good that day so he allowed them to retake it. He told them to both come back tomorrow for an oral exam. When they both showed up he told one of them to wait outside while he tests the other. So one enters and the other...

A Nigerian joke

Two students are waiting to give their oral aptitude test. The first student's turn comes, and he goes inside

Examiner :- Suppose you are travelling by train, and suddenly it gets hot, what will you do?

Alex:- I will open the window.

Examiner:- Great, now suppose that the area ...

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