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Visitor to London

A tourist is sat on his own in a small bar in Shoreditch, waiting for his friends. After a moment, two girls arrive, sit down at the table next to him and are soon deep in conversation, waiting for their drinks to be served.

New to the city, he decides to take a chance to strike up a conversa...

Despite getting A-level results of A, B, B, A

it seems that no employer will take a chance on me.

A guy goes into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, "that'll be a dollar"

The guy thinks, "man, that's cheap," but the beer was delicious. So he finishes his beer and decides to take a chance. "Bartender, I'll have your finest wine" bartender goes through a long process of showing the bottle. Opening it. Aerating the wine. Pouring it into nice a nice glass and says. "That...

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Two anti vaxxers die and arrive at thepearly gates..

St.Peter gives them two options " Get one question answered by God himself and go to hell or go to heaven blissfully" .

The first one chooses not to ask any questions but the second one decides to take a chance .

He goes inside the golden gates and asks God " what is the correlation be...

An explorer in the African jungle heard about a plan to capture the legendary King Kong.

And sure enough when he came to a clearing there before him, imprisoned in a cage, sat the imposing figure of King Kong.


It occurred to the explorer that he could be the first person ever to touch the great ape and so tentatively he inched towards the cage. Since King Kong appeared quite ...

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It was spring in the old west. The cowboys rode the still snow-choked trails looking for cattle that survived the winter. As one cowboy's horse went around the narrow trail, it came upon a rattlesnake warming itself in the spring sunshine.

The horse reared and the cowboy drew his six-gun to shoot the snake. "Hold on there, partner," said the snake, "don't shoot - I'm an enchanted rattlesnake, and if you don't shoot me, I'll give you any three wishes you want."

The cowboy decided to take a chance. He knew he was safely out of th...

Prison Joker

Young guy gets sentenced to 15 years in prison and is assigned to a cell with a lifer. The old man explains the rules, including the no-talking policy in the cafeteria.
At dinner that night, one of the inmates stands up and yells out, "28!" All the other inmates laugh loudly and then resume eatin...

A redneck couple, both bona fide rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband 'fixed'.

The doctor started the procedure and asked them what finally made them make the decision.

The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby ...

Why did ABBA play monopoly empire?

So that they could take a Chance on ME.

An old man is on the park walking

When he sees an elderly lady on a bench. He decides to take a chance and sits down and introduces himself. After some small talk, the man tells her he is a widower. She acts surprised and says she is as well. Four times over.

" all four husbands died while with you? How horrible, how did they...

A one eyed man

Had no money to buy a fancy prosthetic eye, so he carved one out of wood and painted it. Because of this he was shy, unable to talk to girls, and he felt very lonely. One day at work he was having lunch alone when he was joined by a woman with a cleft lip. Although she was shy at first, they finally...

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Alone in the Gobi Desert

A man is lost with his camel in the Gobi Desert, but has food for weeks so isn't worrying. After two weeks he gets extremely horny and decides to take a chance with his camel. Every time he stands behind the camel, the camel walks away. So he diggs a deep hole, places his camel inside it and tries b...

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