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Stems Jokes

TIL That procrastination stems from 2 basic personality traits

I'll post the link in a minute.

Happy Valentine's

Roses are red,.
Violets are blue.
If he's busy on Valentine's,
The side-piece is you!

Those roses smell lovely,
But the stems have a prick.
Her excuse may well sound good,
But she'll be getting some ________

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So I started therapy today...

Apparently I exaggerate my interactions with the opposite sex and the problem stems from narcissistic thoughts that all women want me.

Or at least that’s what my new girlfriend thinks.

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be..

A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones.
Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns.
The man asked the florist ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jim's Birthday Hat

Jim's birthday was coming up, and as much as he enjoyed his birthday, he dreaded the obligations that came with it. Despite his vehement protests, his wife had arranged lunch with the whole family, including his witch of a mother-in-law. But Jim was a good man and said he'd be on his best behaviour....

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