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Radical Jokes

My ex got sent to jail for plotting a radical socialist coup.

Guess I should have...

Paid attention to the red flags.

What's the difference between a radical Muslim...

Q: What's the difference between a radical and a moderate Muslim?
A: The radical Muslim wants to kill you.The moderate Muslim wants the radical Muslim to kill you.

Remember when radical extremists were just kids pulling sick stunts off on their skateboards?

Gnarly.

What do you call a old radical Islamist

A boomer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

[NSFW] How are radical Christianity and Islam similar?

They both fuck kids.

I was going to post a joke about radical Islam...

but I feel that would be self-destructive

What do you call a radical ophthalmologist?

An eye-deologue

What do you call a radical Matthew McConaughey?

Alt-right, alt-right, alt-right.

What does a radical sheep say?

Allahu Ak-Baa!

My math teacher asked "should we trust a radical?"

I said no, they ain't safe around planes.

How does a radical muslim clean themselves?

A bath bomb.

He was a dyed-in-the-wool Tory and she was a militant Labour radical, but they fell madly in love anyway.

And after a whirlwind romance they tied the nuptial knot at a dream wedding. Unfortunately, in the car from the reception to the honeymoon hotel, they unwisely started talking about politics, and the talk escalated into an argument and then a blazing row, and by the time they had checked into the ro...

I failed my chemistry exam today. They asked me to give an example of free radicals.

Apparently, 'ISIS fighters' was not the correct answer.

What do you call a radically Islamic cowboy?

A yeehawdist

What do radical Islamic wrappers spit?

Allahu Ak-BARS

Radical Muslims

I'm really hoping this thread blows up now...

What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings?

Jihad a chance, and you blew it.

A New Radical physicist pressure group has been formed…

Black Matter Lives

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Weight loss center

Fat guy walks into a radical new weight loss center, that guarantees results.

Receptionist: How many pounds do you want to lose today?
Guy: Today?! Yeah, right, let's say 2.
Receptionist: 1st floor please, room 12, you have 3 hours.

He walks in a large empty room, sees a beauti...

Wanna know how to stop radicals?

You square them!

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News Report: Child born with no eyelids.

A baby boy has been born without having his eyelid full formed. In a radical new surgery the doctors were able to form eyelids for the foreskin of the child. Doctors report the surgery successful, however the child may be cock-eyed.

I had to go talk to my math teacher since I missed the lesson on radicals

Glad I got everything squared away.

A guy walks into an adult toy store.

He walks up to the clerk and says, I'd like to buy a blow up doll." The clerk asks, "Male or female?" "Female." "Black or white" "White." "Christian or Muslim?" Curious, the guy says, "Muslim." "Regular or radicalized extremist?" The clerk asks. "What's the difference?" the guy says. "The radicali...

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The Excuse

This past fall semester, at Duke University, there were two sophomores who were taking Organic Chemistry and who did pretty well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs, etc. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."

These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weeke...

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What are two things that you can see in the photo op at St John's church?

One is a glorified tool that is no longer relevant, but still widely used by radical christians to persecute homosexuals, degrade women, prohibit freedom, and rationalize war on non-believers.

The other is the bible.

What do you get when you square root a Muslim?

Radical Islam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm getting real tired of people comparing Trump to Hitler.

I mean, I get it: they both appeal to the radical far right Uber-nationalists and blame problems on minority groups but whatever, it's getting out of hand. Grow up and show some damn respect!Hitler at least actively served in the military and didn't get a deferment.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A plane made an emergency landing on water...

A plane made an emergency landing on water. The Air Hostess asked the passengers to slide down to the lifeboats, but the passengers refused; so she asked the captain to help. The captain being knowledgeable and experienced, guided her:
1. Tell the Americans this is an ADVENTURE.
2. Tell the Br...

An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. See his answers:

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work...

The US Department of Education wants to force every child to learn Chinese.

But that's such a radical idea.

Why did the molecular biologist call the FBI to incarcerate the political extremist?

Because he hated free radicals.

Why don't anarchists drink green tea?

Because it helps fight free radicals.

What's the difference between parents who don't vaccinate their children and ISIS?

One is a group made up of radicals with extremist views.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the other group is ISIS.

It's the year 2295...

Dude: I'm a classically trained guitarist.

Neo-90s Kid: Radical!

Dude: So anyway, here's Wonderwall.

Once, a little boy was born with no arms.

He also had no legs, or even a torso. His parents adored him anyway and completely doted on him.
As he got older they would put him in front of the window and he would watch the other kids run and play in the park across the street. One day a doctor rocked up with radical plan for a whole body tr...

How do you describe an ISIS member who likes to surf?

Radical, dude.

the knights

What is the name of the knight who moonlights as a geologist?

Sir Vey

What is the name of the agreeable knight?

Sir Tenly

What is the name of the Knight who used to be a slave?

Sir Vent

What are the names of the Knights who run the graduation ceremony?
...

(My mother's proudest creation) What do you call it when you lobotomize terrorists?

Simplifying Radicals.


Yes, she's a math teacher.

What is ISIS's favorite mathematical operation?

Square Root.
Anything it is applied to becomes radicalized.

ln(x) is hosting a calculus party....

and all the functions are invited. Some of them are radical, at least 1/3 of them are rational, and like all parties, there are a few odd ones talking to their imaginary friends. Amidst all of this revelry, ln(x) is talking to some trig functions, when he sees his friend e^x sulking in a corner.
...

Why were square roots, cubed roots, and other roots arrested during the Red Scare?

They were all radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra? (A series of jokes)

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They can’t solve the inequalities.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re afraid of the radicals.

Why can’t politicians do algebra?

They’re just really stupid.

How does a mathematician want to solve terrorism?

He wants to simplify the radicals.

What does Donald Trump and a mathematician have in common?

They both like to eliminate radicals.

To be part of the clan...

A man is looking for a radical life change. After considerable thought, he decides to move to the freezing regions of Alaska, to live with the Eskimos. He leaves soon afterwards.

He really enjoys his time there. He seems to be getting along with everyone, and has learned to adapt to the ha...

What did the surfer say when he visited Syria?

This place is totally radical!

Isis isn't cool...

It's radical!

What do you call an Jihadi Terrorist who just escaped prison?

a free radical..

Why are hippy drum circles like high frequency radiation?

They both cause the formation of free radicals.

Heard this one seems kind of old.

Three strangers strike up a conversation in the passenger lounge in the Bozeman, Montana airport, while waiting for their respective flights...One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer, another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show, and the third passenger is a funda...

What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation?

A radical equation.

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