What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?

A receding hare line.

I’m writing a book about reverse psychology

Please don’t buy it...

Patient: Doctor, doctor, my DNA has been reversed.

Doctor: AND?

Why is reverse cowgirl illegal in Alabama?

Because you don’t turn your back on family.

If you drive a Subaru in reverse, what are you?

U r a bus

Whenever the wife and I fight I sit down and watch my wedding video in reverse

I take the wedding band off her finger, hand her back to her dad and walk out of the chapel with my best mate

I have a reverse latex allergy.

When I get a swelling I use latex.

I always get nostalgic putting my car in reverse.

It really takes me back.

Why did Santa put his sleigh in reverse in mid-air?

He wanted to back up to the cloud!

Pinocchio's nose has started working in reverse

Huge, if true

To sound wise reverse the words...

To sound words, reverse the wise.

LinkedIn is like reverse dating site for IT nerds

They get a lot of messages from girls

But ignore most of them

What is the only car that can go 40 mph in reverse?

A rental

Boss: Why should we hire you as an reverse psychologist?

Me: You shouldn’t

What is a reversed exorcism?

When devil puls priest out of a child.

A truck driver reverses down a mountain road

A policeman stops him and asks: "Why are you driving up backwards?"

Driver replies: "My boss said there's no place to turn around."

A little later the truck comes back down, again in reverse.

The policeman asks: "Why are you reversing down now?"

The driver replies: "The b...

I know how to tell a joke in reverse

smile first and I tell you the rest

Y'all ever heard of reverse exorcism?

It's when the devil tells the priest to exit the child's body

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An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady...

An older Jewish gentleman marries a younger lady, and they are very much in love. However, no matter what the husband does sexually, the woman never reaches orgasm. Since a Jewish wife is entitled to sexual pleasure, they decide to ask the rabbi. The rabbi listens to their story, strokes his beard, ...

What happens when you reverse the batteries in the energizer bunny?

It keeps coming and coming and coming!

They say when you’re young, making friends is easy but finding a date is hard. And it’s reversed when you’re older.

Now that I’m older, I can truly say that they were both hard then and even harder now.

What's the definition of a reverse exorcism?

It's when you ask the Devil to get the priest out of your little boy

The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton'

which also means nothing

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars, now it's the reverse

Oh, how the stables have turned

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TIL the Reverse Cowgirl position is frowned upon in West Virginia.

It just ain't right turning your back on family.

Wasted

A woman's husband comes home wasted every night and she always yells at him before going to bed alone. One day she decides to try some reverse psychology. When her husband staggers in that night, she's waiting for him in her best lingerie. She sits him in an armchair and gives him a backrub. "It's g...

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My doctor gave me 6 months, so I shot him.

## The judge gave me 60 years!


 

 

 


### My (other) favorite one liners:

1. I’ve had amnesia for as long as I can remember.

1. What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff.

1. French tanks have five rever...

Im thinking about getting a second career as a reverse truck driver.

You know as a backup job.

What's reverse exorcism?

When a demon commands a priest to leave the body of a child

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Jewish men like to watch porn in reverse?

They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says...

"Ah, that takes me back."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman grants her mother's unusual dying wish.

She specifically requested pictures of her right foot be sent to an address in Rhode Island.

A couple of days later, she realizes that reversed pictures of her mother's *left* foot were sent instead. Unsure of the importance, but determined to fulfill her wishes, the woman travels to Rhode Is...

What happens when you play a Country music record in reverse?

Your dog ressurects, your wife goes back home, you get your job back and Donald Trump finally leaves office.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

What do you call reverse birth?

A push in the right direction

I went to see a reverse psychologist.

He told me to commit suicide.

This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse...

...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

Me and my best friend reverse our cars everywhere together.

We go back a long way.

Scientists have developed a new type of diode that reverses it's flow after around 66 years...

They are calling it the Jenner Diode!

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A priest is riding a cab

A priest gets a taxi. While driving, the taxi driver is being extremely obnoxious. Every time the car gets into a small pit in the road, the taxi driver says "Fuck!" or "Shit!". The priest is silent. Then they accidentally hit a pothole, and the taxi driver goes "Motherfucker!". Then they hit a crac...

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Confederates are reverse Hitlers.

Hitler first sucked at art and then lost the war while Confederates first lost the war and then sucked at art.

Trying out a new joke about Reverse Psychology.

You didn't find this funny.....

Microsoft is releasing a a reverse Outlook soon

So we should all be on Lookout

Why can’t Elvis drive his car in reverse?

He’s dead

Big news today in the World Reverse-Parking Championship....

Last years winner just backed out!

They say you can't reverse a chemical reaction

But the more bread I eat, the doughier I become.

my public pool's showers has two different soap dispensers one is white and the other soap is transparent

i asked my life guard about the difference between them

he said that the white one is shampoo for hair

and the transparent is for the body.

me being bald i asked him: so i use one soap?

he was silent for a second while he looked at my body me wearing only my swimming shor...

Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes

I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.

Do you know what is reversed exorcism

When satan tells a priest to get out of a kid

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[NSFW] The Only Positions Melania Trump Likes are Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl.

That's because all her husband knows how to do is fuck up.

Translated joke but I reversed the countries because screw Belgium

Two dutchmen take the train from Amsterdam to Brussels, but they only have one ticket. 2 fellow Belgian passengers ask them how they will get away with it. “Watch and learn!” Say the Dutch. They head into the toilet together and wait for the train conductor to knock on the door. “Ticket please!”. He...

It's the exact same movie.

Did you know that if you watch the movie 'Tenet' in reverse...

I Ran Into My Ex Today...

So I put it in reverse, and I did it again.

And again.

I tried whistling in reverse today

I kind of sucked

Hey! I saved a bundle on car insurance, by switching....

my car on reverse and leaving the scene of the accident!

I asked a man what the opposites of ugly, curved, and reverse were.

His answer was pretty straight forward.

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...

I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

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Reverse Pick-Up Lines

1. Girl are you a newspaper? Cause there’s a new fucking issue with you everyday
2. Oh my God, you're so funny ... looking.
3. Excuse me sir, are you the moon? Because I need you 238,000 miles away from me.
4. Are you a tree? Cause i when i see you i think ‘Leave’
5. Are you from Tenness...

Reverse joke challenge

This is a game I came up with, the rules are pretty simple:

Post a question in the form of: "What do you call an (animal) with a (object)?" And I (or someone else) will respond with a laffy taffy quality pun as a response. This creates a new terrible joke as a result!

Keep in mind thes...

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[NSFW]Did you know that when you stick your dick in a vacuum....and turn it on to reverse...

they'll kick you out of Sears?
__

Someone wrote in the comment jumping on my ass about nit giving credit. I heard this on Conan last night by comedian Matt Donaher. I wasn't stealing the guys joke. I'd never seen anyone on here giving credit to people they hear the jokes from. And because ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My dick is like a reverse vampire...

I can only see it in a mirror.

I just drove an expensive car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.

There’s no going back now.

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.

So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fifteen-year-old Amish boy and his father were in a mall.

They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked "What is this Father?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life,...

We’re like the reverse Jesus

Instead of turning water into wine, we turn wine into water

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If my life was a sex position it would be reverse cowgirl

Because noone will look me in the eye and I'm not in control

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I tried to reverse the effects of viagra

It was just too hard

A Canadian cop is watching the bar after last call (Long)

Recently, during a routine patrol, an RCMP patrolman parked down the street, outside a Legion Hall just off the main Street at Dauphin, Manitoba.

After last call, the officer observed a man leaving the Legion Hall. The gentleman was so intoxicated that he could barely walk. He then stumbled a...

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

The White House reversed its proposed cuts to the Special Olympics.

Now Don Jr. can finally get back to training.

Did you hear about the guy who has reverse erectile dysfunction?

He having a real hard time at the moment.

If Roe v Wade is reversed, we are going to have a huge problem on our hands.

No one can pronounce Edaw v Eor correctly.

A hillbilly girl tells her guy “How about we try reverse cowgirl tonight?”

He replies “Hey! You never turn your back on family.”

Reverse English

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

"However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

Bo...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So, we sometimes pee accidentally when we poop. Just imagine how bad it would be if that got reversed for everyone one fine day.

Every male would have a really shitty day.

Just a quick note to my American cousins. Voting is like driving a car....

'D' to go forward.

'R' to go reverse.

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