I went to see a reverse psychologist.

He told me to commit suicide.

Y'all ever heard of reverse exorcism?

It's when the devil tells the priest to exit the child's body

Reverse cowgirl is illegal in Alabama

You don’t turn your back on family

WHAT DID THE DAD SAY WHEN HE PUT THE CAR IN REVERSE?!

Man this takes me back.

What do you call two thousand rabbits running in reverse?

A receding hare line.

I just wrote a book on reverse psychology.

Do *not* read it.

What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a reverse-kleptomaniac?

What's yours is mine and what's mine is yours.

Today I posted a video of Muhammad Ali's "Rumble in the Jungle" fight in reverse.

It's the first in a series of unboxing videos.

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I'm majoring in reverse psychology...

... and I ask my advisor if I should take on a second major in reverse engineering. She says

"I don't know about that, sounds pretty difficult."

I think for a second and decide, "I'll do it!"

She shrugs and says, "Alright, don't say I didn't warn you." With that, she opens...

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A woman grants her mother's unusual dying wish.

She specifically requested pictures of her right foot be sent to an address in Rhode Island.

A couple of days later, she realizes that reversed pictures of her mother's *left* foot were sent instead. Unsure of the importance, but determined to fulfill her wishes, the woman travels to Rhode Is...

Translated joke but I reversed the countries because screw Belgium

Two dutchmen take the train from Amsterdam to Brussels, but they only have one ticket. 2 fellow Belgian passengers ask them how they will get away with it. “Watch and learn!” Say the Dutch. They head into the toilet together and wait for the train conductor to knock on the door. “Ticket please!”. He...

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Confederates are reverse Hitlers.

Hitler first sucked at art and then lost the war while Confederates first lost the war and then sucked at art.

This Corona app is like Tinder in reverse...

...first you meet, then you find out you have a match and suddenly you feel rather lonely.

What's the definition of a reverse exorcism?

It's when you ask the Devil to get the priest out of your little boy

What's reverse exorcism?

When a demon commands a priest to leave the body of a child

They say you can't reverse a chemical reaction

But the more bread I eat, the doughier I become.

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Why do Jewish people watch porn in reverse?

They like the part where the hooker gives back the money

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A guy walks into the doctor’s office

A guy walks into a doctors office and tells the doctor:

“Doccctorrr, I cccaannn hharddlllyyy finiiiishh a senttttenccee.”

The doctor says:

“Alright let’s do a head to toe inspection”

The doctor quickly notices this guy has an enormous penis. Like the biggest the doctor ha...

Big news today in the World Reverse-Parking Championship....

Last years winner just backed out!

I KNOW HOW TO REVERSE TIME!

!EMIT

Scientists: The coronavirus has reverse DNA.

Coronavirus: AND?

Microsoft is releasing a a reverse Outlook soon

So we should all be on Lookout

Do you know what is reversed exorcism

When satan tells a priest to get out of a kid

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TIL the Reverse Cowgirl position is frowned upon in West Virginia.

It just ain't right turning your back on family.

Trying out a new joke about Reverse Psychology.

You didn't find this funny.....

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[NSFW] The Only Positions Melania Trump Likes are Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl.

That's because all her husband knows how to do is fuck up.

What happens if you sing country music in reverse?

You get your wife and job back.

I asked a man what the opposites of ugly, curved, and reverse were.

His answer was pretty straight forward.

If you really don't want someone to do something, tell them to do it, then scream "YGOLOHCYSP".

Classic reverse psychology.

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he hears music. No one is around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827."

Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward! Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the prev...

Ive been playing uno with my kids for 50 years now.

I finally dropped my reverse card and now they have to change my diapers.

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Have you heard of the sexual maneuver called the "Reverse Hitler"?

It's where you ejaculate inside of an anus. i.e. create 6 million lives in a gas chamber.

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I tried to reverse the effects of viagra

It was just too hard

100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars, now it's the reverse

Oh, how the stables have turned

Harry has been having heart issues for sometime now but he kept procrastinating a doctor's visit until his wife finally forced him to go.

After a thorough physical exam, the doctor walked in with the results but he said he wanted to talk to Sally first and asks Harry to wait outside.

Sally asks "How is my husband?"

The doctor said "Your husband's heart condition is a result of years of stress. If things continue this way...

The word 'nothing' is a palindrome. 'Nothing' reversed is 'Gnihton'

which also means nothing

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President Clinton and the Pope die on the same day.

Due to a paperwork issue, the Pope ends up in Hell and the President gets sent to Heaven. The Pope explains the mix up to the devil, who acknowledges the problem and tells him it will take 24 hours before they can reverse it. The next day, the Pope gets called to leave, and on his way up he met Clin...

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A stuttering man

So one man decided to go to the doctors one day for his horrible stuttering problem he had since puberty. He goes into the office and gets checked out by the doctor, the doctor says, "I know whats wrong, your penis is so big its pulling on your vocal chords making you stutter." So the man and doctor...

Dad puts the car in reverse, looks in the rearview mirror and says...

"Ah, that takes me back."

Reverse joke challenge

This is a game I came up with, the rules are pretty simple:

Post a question in the form of: "What do you call an (animal) with a (object)?" And I (or someone else) will respond with a laffy taffy quality pun as a response. This creates a new terrible joke as a result!

Keep in mind thes...

Why can’t Elvis drive his car in reverse?

He’s dead

My wife had been away for about 6months. In that time I've had no use for the car.

When she came back, I had to go pick her up from the airport.

I went into the garage, got into the car, started it up, put it in reverse and thought; "This takes me back."

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Did you know that if you rest one of your testicles on the top of a beer bottle while holding a flame at the base..

eventually, your testicle will be sucked inside?

If you did happen to know this, can you please let me know how to reverse it?!
It’s quite urgent.

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So, we sometimes pee accidentally when we poop. Just imagine how bad it would be if that got reversed for everyone one fine day.

Every male would have a really shitty day.

Interviewer- why do you think we should hire you as a reverse psychologist?

Me: you shouldn't.

We’re like the reverse Jesus

Instead of turning water into wine, we turn wine into water

If Roe v Wade is reversed, we are going to have a huge problem on our hands.

No one can pronounce Edaw v Eor correctly.

My boss: Why should I higher you as a Reverse Psychologist?

Me: You shouldn’t

I just drove an expensive car out of the lot only to find the reverse gear broken.

There’s no going back now.

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Walls of youth

A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father took an outing to a shopping mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, 'What is this Father?'

The father responded, 'S...

I tried whistling in reverse today

I kind of sucked

How are French tanks unique?

They go faster in reverse than forward.

Getting over my ex was easy

I even reversed back over her for good measure

The White House reversed its proposed cuts to the Special Olympics.

Now Don Jr. can finally get back to training.

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The greatest truck driver in the world was driving along a country lane late one night when

his truck broke down. All he could see was a faint light in the distance. So he headed towards it. He came to an old farmhouse and knocked on the door.

"*Hello,*" he says, "*I'm the greatest truck driver in the world and my truck is broken down. I wonder could I have a bed for the night?*" <...

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Reverse Pick-Up Lines

1. Girl are you a newspaper? Cause there’s a new fucking issue with you everyday
2. Oh my God, you're so funny ... looking.
3. Excuse me sir, are you the moon? Because I need you 238,000 miles away from me.
4. Are you a tree? Cause i when i see you i think ‘Leave’
5. Are you from Tenness...

Watching my wedding video in reverse brought tears to my eyes

I took off her wedding ring, returned her to her dad, and moonwalked my way out of the church.

Did you hear about the guy who has reverse erectile dysfunction?

He having a real hard time at the moment.

I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching

To reverse and leaving the scene

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My dick is like a reverse vampire...

I can only see it in a mirror.

Person 1: For the last time, it's not "reverse gravity", it's called BUOYANCY

Person 2: *shrugs* Whatever floats your boat

A hillbilly girl tells her guy “How about we try reverse cowgirl tonight?”

He replies “Hey! You never turn your back on family.”

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If my life was a sex position it would be reverse cowgirl

Because noone will look me in the eye and I'm not in control

I'm writing a book on reverse psychology.

When it becomes available, please refrain from purchasing it.

Why don't airplanes have a 'reverse' drive?

No one wants a receding airline...

I have no idea if airplanes can actually travel in reverse, just go with me folks ;)

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Did you know that if you put your testicle on the opening of a beer bottle and put a lighter under the base, eventually the heat will create a vacuum and your testicle will be sucked into the bottle?

If you ever tried this, let me know how the reverse the process.

Need answers fast

I lost the reverse hat wearing competition last night.

Just couldn’t get my head around it.

Want to hear a joke in reverse?

OK, you have to laugh first.

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[NSFW]Did you know that when you stick your dick in a vacuum....and turn it on to reverse...

they'll kick you out of Sears?
__

Someone wrote in the comment jumping on my ass about nit giving credit. I heard this on Conan last night by comedian Matt Donaher. I wasn't stealing the guys joke. I'd never seen anyone on here giving credit to people they hear the jokes from. And because ...

Reverse English

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative.

"However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

Bo...

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Every night, my roommate gets high and watches the Benjamin Button movie in reverse.

I finally said, “This is getting old really fast.”

I wanted to major in reverse psychology.

My dream school turned me down.

So I wrote them back and told them I wasn't even interested in their stupid program. They sent me a diploma.

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