When you pull the pin on a grenade, how do you put it back in?

Quick answers please.

Someone has a card pin code of 7541

and now that person is feeling uncomfortable

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

I covered my shirt with push pins...

I thought I would look sharp, but everyone said it was tacky.

I hacked everybody and I have collected all PIN codes! Here's the list

0000

0001

0002

0003

0004

0005

...

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several gorgeous nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them.

“Oh, nothing,” she says with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”

I heard that your mom uses her weight as her phone's pin code.

Guess that's why Apple changed it from four digits to six.

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After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

If I pulled the pin from a grenade,

how long does it take to expl

PIN number

My PIN number is the last four digits of pi

Why did the Ghost of the Pin-the-tail-on-the Donkey go to Bevmo?

Because they retail spirits.

(My 9-year-old came up with this, be kind)

I never use pushpins at work so my boss called the police. Now I’m going to jail.

They’re charging me with tacks evasion.

Did you hear about the kid who always kept a drawing pin in his pocket during self-defense class?

Apparently he had heard that a tack is the best form of defense.

Why did the soldier run when the blond threw a pin at him?

She had a grenade in her mouth

The sword swallower went to a sewing store to buy pins and needles

He was on a diet

Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school

She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later th...

Make sure you all have extra pin backs for your mini American flag pins. I lost mine...

‘N DA PIN DIDN’T STAY

I once picked up a grenade in a gun sale, they had knocked off 90% because it was missing a pin or something.

It blew my mind.

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If a wrestler pins you while having sex with your wife...

Is that a cuckhold?

You know you're drunk when you get home, put food in the microwave

and then enter your pin number...

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A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been

After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.

"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.

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8621. If this makes it to the front page, odds are it’s someone’s ATM PIN.

Crap.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil.

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

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A man got a text from his neighbor: "I'm so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I have to confess.

I've been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again."

The man anguished and ...

What sounds like a pin hitting the floor, but louder?

A PIN HITTING THE FLOOR.

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church

The church priest asks the girl a question "who is our lord and savior?" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells "JESUS CHRIST" the priest says "good good, who created us" *the boy stabs her again* she yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the priest says "good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had t...

I was having a hard time remembering my PIN on my debit card....

So I changed it to 0911. That way I never forget.

What do you do when, during wartime, a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Catch it, pull out the pin, throw it back.

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A guy walks into a bar, and sees a jar full of money sitting on the table.

Puzzled, he looks at the bartender before ordering a drink.

“Shit, is this the tip jar for today?”

The bartender, cleaning a glass, shakes his head before looking up at the man.

“No, that’s our prize money.”

“Prize money?” The man asked. “What competition did this bar com...

A blonde threw a grenade at another

So she pulled the pin and threw it back.

The first then asks, "What should I do with this pin?"

Mary Rose sat on a pin

Mary rose!

Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear

You can actually hear the world getting smarter.

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

"Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gen...

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

The Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff.But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?'


''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about
my Mom.She was...

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp

Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge. But today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross.

“Something for this I have,” Yoda says. He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular, dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He ta...

What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online?

Ebola.

You are invited to our next AA (Acronym Abusers) meeting!

Please RSVP by the ATM machine with your PIN number!

Little Lucy & Little Johnny

Little Lucy was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class.

One day the teacher called on her while she was napping,
"Tell me, Lucy, who created the universe?"

When Lucy didn't stir, Little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, too...

If people had to pay rolling pins,

They'd be rollin' in the dough.

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A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

Why did the bowling pins stop working?

They went on strike!

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What did the inflatable principal say to the inflatable student who brought a pin to the inflatable school?

Not only have you let me down, you have also let the school down but mainly you have let yourself down.

A wasp expert walks into a record shop

He goes to the owner and asks if they have the new edition of wasp sounds 2019.
The record shop owner says that they have it in stock and asks if the wasp expert would like to listen too it before he buys.

The wasp expert agrees and the record is placed on the record player.
The pin goe...

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Heard this some 30-years ago in the Navy...

An Air Force General, Marine General, Army General and a Navy Admiral have a bet on which service has the most balls…



The Marine general grunts, “I’ll solve this right now!” calls for a company of Marines, pulls the pin on a grenade and tosses it in the middle shouting, “Grenade!” One...

A Guy & His Wife Go Golfing...

A guy and his wife go golfing. They’re about halfway through the game when the husband slices a shot for the green and drops his ball right behind the greenskeeper’s shed, blocking his chance to chip in. So, he lines up his shot, planning to hit it out from behind the shed and then up on the green o...

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A deaf accountant works for the mafia.

One day, the king pin mafioso is checking out the books and notices there's a million dollars missing. He calls a meeting with the deaf accountant and a sign language translator.

"Ok, there's a million dollars missing, where is it?" asks the king pin. Translator says, "There's a million dolla...

Did you hear about the robbery at the laundromat?

Two clothes pins held up a pair of pants.

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A man and a woman are sitting side by side at a bar getting really wasted. They both look really depressed.

The man asks the woman why she's so down and she replies, "My husband left me because he said I was too kinky in bed."

"What a conicidence" he said. "My wife just left me. She said I was too kinky in bed too."

They start talking and after a few more drinks they decide to go to the woma...

Soldier's letter to his grandma

A letter arrives with a hand grenade in it,it says: Granny, pull this pin so I can get two weeks leave,love you.

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Man and his doctor's advice

A man came to the chamber of a well known doctor.
**Doctor:** Hello and good afternoon. What seems to be the problem?
*Man:* I don't want any more baby, doc. Save me.


**Doctor:** Okay, tell me why can't you stop having a baby?
*Man:* I used a condom so that my semen won't...

Have you ever heard of the Bowling Ball Killer?

He waits till he sees a group of people standing in a perfect bowling pin formation and then that's when he strikes. Very disturbing.

(not mine, but my partner's joke)

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whisky neat....

He pins it in one go...

He orders another... pins that too..

After about 4 whiskys, the barman asks him "whats up?"

"Im after having my first blo job" says the guy..

"Ah good man..", says the barman.."here, have this whisky on the house..congratulations!!"

The guy ...

One of my dearest childhood friends is now a world champion wrestler

He’s so popular. Got sponsorship deals with Nike and Adidas. He’s even in talks with UFC! He’s touring the world and hanging out with celebrities. I’m so damned proud of him!!
Only thing is, I’ve been trying for months to get him to meet up for a drink, but he’s a hard man to pin down.

An old, tired looking dog

wanders into a guy's yard. He examines the dog's collar and feels his well-fed belly and knows the dog has a home.
The dog follows him into the house, goes down the hall, jumps on the couch, gets comfortable and falls asleep. The man thinks its rather odd, but lets him sleep. After about an hour...

The Detroit Lions have almost assembled a team to win the Super Bowl...

All that’s missing is a great quarterback. A scout has been looking everywhere for someone good enough, but cheap enough to keep them under the salary cap.

The scout, after a long day of searching, comes home defeated. He slumps down into his chair and decides to watch the news.

As h...

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joke

An inflatable child took a pin into their inflatable school full of inflatable children. He's caught, and given a stern talking to. The headteacher/principal says to him,"Not only have you let me down, you've let the school down, and you've let yourself down too."

I'm starting a business that is half bowling alley and half safe injection site.

It's going to be called "Pins & Needles".

A woman and man get into a car accident

Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the bla...

I got kicked off my bowling team the other day

I managed to knock all the pins down on my first two turns. Then on my third turn I did it again and the leader of the team turned to me and said "Sorry, you're going to have to leave the team".

Apparently they have a three strike policy.

What's the Chinese minister for bowling sport's name?

Bo Ling

What's the Korean minister for bowling sport's name?

Bo Ling-Pin.

Rich man shenanigans

There was once an extremely wealthy man who was known for his eccentric habits. One fine evening, he sent out an invite to all the young, able-bodied men of his city for a very "special" dinner, promising a grand prize for one lucky soul.

Knowing the rich man's generous nature, a hundred you...

Passport? What Passport?

Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 92, arrived in Paris by plane with his son.

At French customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he ...

I bought a grenade today...

Things went terribly wrong when the cashier asked me for my PIN.

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A hunter shoots a bear in the ass with a pistol...

The bear, feeling the sting in his ass, turns towards the hunter runs down the hill and pins the hunter down. The bear says "since you shot me in the ass, I'm going to screw you in the ass..."

The hunter, not wanting to die, agrees - pulls his pants down and allows the bear to have its way wi...

Johnny and Sarah are in Sunday School ...

Johnny and Sarah are sitting in Sunday school class when Sarah begins to fall asleep. The teacher notices this and decides to embarrass Sarah by asking her a question. The teacher asks, "Sarah, who created the heavens and the earth?" Johnny decides to help Sarah out and wake her up, so he covertly t...

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Confession

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I used the F word this morning on the golf course."
"Tell me, my son, what were the circumstances that put you under such extreme provocation?"
"I drove my tee shot three hundred yards, but the wind suddenly caught it and it landed in the rough." ...

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The Nigerian football team were so disappointed with Saturday’s performance that they have said they will personally refund all expenses to fans who travelled to support them.

All they need to do is send bank details, sort codes & PINs, and they will transfer the money directly …

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A zoo bought a female gorilla

About a week after buying a gorilla the zookeepers noticed the gorilla became extremely aggressive. There was nothing they could do to console the gorilla. After awhile even when they fed the gorilla it would refuse to eat and throw its food against the wall.

After this went on for awhile the...

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Twas a slow and quiet day in the little Irish parish

so Father Oriley decided to go for a stroll
down by docks. He ran into Patrick, the local firsherman who just about to head off in his boat.


Patrick offered to take the Father out fishing for the afternoon since he was bored so they headed off.
About an hour of fishing later the pri...

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An Ethical Dilemma

You are playing in the club championship knockout final and the match was all square at the end of 17 holes. You had the honour and hit your ball a modest two hundred fifty yards to the middle of the fairway, leaving a simple 7 iron to the pin.

Your opponent then hits his ball, lofting it de...

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A man goes out for cigarettes

After an uneventful dinner with his wife, a man realizes he's out of cigarettes and decides to stop at his local bar for a pack. The bartender says they just started selling a new micro brew and offers him one on the house, so he decides to stay for one drink.

When he's just about finish...

Little bit of a read but funny

(Im from Louisiana and we usually use Boudreaux and Thibadeaux as our characters with our cajun accent but for joke purposes ill use tim and matt)
Tim and Matt went to see a wrestling match at a local arena. There was a famous wrestler in town called the Human Pretzel (due to his special move fol...

A guy comes home to his wife

It's a warm summers day, so the front door is left open.

The man finds his wife standing by the kitchen counter with her back turned, working on dinner, wearing nothing but a short, yellow sundress.

Without saying a word, he steps over to her, drops his pants and gently lifts up her dr...

Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

A group of three successful bowlers traveled to every bowling alley in their county, talking trash at every alley and winning every game. Finally, the owner of an old ma and pa bowling alley had enough and invited them to a secret underground alley.

The old owner explained the rules to a new type of bowling.


"You place the ball at your feet, and then control the ball with your voice"


"That preposterous" said one of the bowlers.


"No, said the old owner, the acoustics in this room are so finely att...

An illuminated joke

A physicist and an engineer were roommates in college. One night a fire broke out in their apartment. The engineer woke up first and saw the fire. He remembered the fire extinguisher in every unit, grabbed it and pulled the pin, as instructed, and sprayed the fire with the sodium bicarbonate contain...

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Olympic wrestling

A Russian and a Norwegian wrestler named Ole were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal.

Before the final match, the Norwegian wrestling coach came to Ole and said, "Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian.. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold h...

A man was out golfing and stops to help a frog.

A golfer playing a round by himself hits his ball near a pond. As he approaches the ball he notices a small frog right next to the spot where his ball landed. Not wanting to hit the frog, he bends down and moves the frog onto a rock nearby. As he sets up his 8 iron shot, he hears the frog croak 'rib...

The Zoo Joke (Long)

So there's this zoo, and this zoo isn't very affluent, but, if someone visits the zoo, it is definitely to see their gorilla.

One morning, the workers come in early to open the zoo like normal and find, to their great sadness, that their famous gorilla has died of old age. The zoo staff are ...

(OC?) A man walks into a French bakery

He goes up to the counter and is offered some chocolate to which he declines, whilst noticing that there's not much for sale. The baker then hits him over the head with a rolling pin. "Ow what did you do that for?!" They only had pain au chocolats

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I was lucky enough to win a couple of coupons for some cool bowling balls with number jokes printed on them.

I won two, three for five, sick "seven ate nine" ten pin bowling balls.

Or in other words I... 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 ...pin bowling balls.

A man is totally convinced he is dead.

His wife and kids do everything to try and convince him that he’s not dead. They take him to a doctor and for months every day the doctor shows him charts, studies, graphs, and statistics showing that dead men do not bleed, and finally the man is completely certain that dead men do not bleed.
...

Some numbers are having a party

There's 3, 4, and 5 playing pin the tail on the donkey. 8, 9, and 0 are chasing a ball around. Everyone is laughing and having a great time.
Except for little 2. Alone he sits in the corner quietly watching everyone play. After some time he says, too quietly for anybody to hear, "would any...

A group of men are out sailing when they decide to see what the chef is cooking for dinner.

They walk in and, being that he doesn’t have a rolling pin, see him flattening biscuits with his armpit.

“That’s disgusting!” One guy says to the other.

“Yeah, well you should see how he makes donuts!”

After getting acupuncture, my chronic muscle pain is completely gone.

The pin really is mightier than the sore.

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A man walks into church and sits in the confessional booth.

The priest sits down and the man says, "Forgive me for I have sinned. I was golfing yesterday and I cursed."

The priest replies, "Would you like to tell me what happened?"

"Well," the guy says. "I was out on the seventh hole, and I'd just hit my best drive of the day. Straight ahead, d...

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