How do you put the pin back in a Grenade?

Quick answers please.

An American man, a French man, a Spanish man and a German man are standing on the sidewalk, trying to watch a street performer juggle bowling pins.

The juggler notices they're having a bit of trouble, so he stands on a large wooden box and says to them, "Can you see me now?"

They answer one at a time:

"Yes."

"Oui."

"Sí."

"Ja."

Is there any way to put the pin of a grenade back in?

Guys, I'm gonna need a quick answer on this one..

10 pins were crossing a railway track. Suddenly they saw a train approaching them. 9 pins were able to cross. But the 10th pin couldn't make it and the train went over it. But nothing happened to that pin. Why?

Because it was a safety pin!

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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.And they've been pinned down in their trench for days.

Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes.When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."

So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.

But he's gone for a good half an hou...

What did the dough say to the rolling pin after receiving a compliment?

You flatter me.

If anyone ever figured out my secret 4-digit code, I'd be screwed! They'd have my bank pin #, phone unlock code, front door lock code...

...they'd even know my birth year!

During boot camp training, a young mathematician is instructed to pull the pin of a grenade, count down from three and then throw.

He died by -6.

What do you call a bowling ball that falls from the sky and knocks down all the bowling pins?

An Airstrike

What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

Run like hell because she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

TIL After Nigeria was unable to win any medals in this year's Olympics, the Nigerian Sports Minister personally offered to refund all the expenses of fans that traveled to Brazil

He said he just needs their bank details and pin numbers to complete the transaction.

Emily Rose sat on a pin

Emily Rose.

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Little April was not the best student in Sunday school...

Usually she slept through the class.
One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"

When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and t...

What did the inflatable principle say to the inflatable school pupil when he brought in a pin into his inflatable school?

You’ve let me down, you’ve let the school down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.

What did the giant choose for his PIN?

3541

My car can speed faster than bullets, drive under water and knock down evil like bowling pins.

It's a Porsche to be reckoned with

Someone has a card pin code of 7541

and now that person is feeling uncomfortable

Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, there’s a long break in the ledge they can’t cross. “Something for this, I have.” Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yoda’s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a ...

A frog walks into a bank...

So, one day a frog walked into a bank. He hopped on over to a teller and quickly eyed her name tag: Patricia Waak.

Frog: Good morning, Miss Waak. Such a lovely day outside, isn't it?

*teller just stares at him, because, well, he's a FROG.*

Teller: Uh, yes. Yes it is. How can I h...

A CIA agent, an MI6 agent, and a KGB agent are out hunting in the woods. [Long]

After they set up camp, they then decide to each go out hunting for a bear. The three agents agree to return within an hour, and go their separate ways.

After an hour, the CIA agent and the MI6 agent return empty-handed.

"Upon close inspection," says the MI6 agent, "I have determined ...

Two blondes are out shopping

When they're done they head back to their convertible, but suddenly realize they locked the keys inside the car.

While they stand there, not knowing what to do, one of the blondes finally has the bright idea to try and pick the lock with her bobby pin.

The other blonde looks up worri...

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A nun walks up to two other nuns

"Sisters, I have something terrible to tell you. Last month, when I was putting away Father Jacob's shirts, I found a box of condoms in his dresser."

"Oh my," says the second nun. "What did you do?"

"I took a pin from my pincushion and poked holes in all of them," she answers.
...

I hacked everybody and I have collected all PIN codes! Here's the list

 

Did you hear about the kid who always kept a drawing pin in his pocket during self-defense class?

Apparently he had heard that a tack is the best form of defense.

I covered my shirt with push pins...

I thought I would look sharp, but everyone said it was tacky.

PIN number

My PIN number is the last four digits of pi

If I pulled the pin from a grenade,

how long does it take to expl

While visiting a friend in the hospital, a young man notices several gorgeous nurses, each one of them wearing a pin designed to look like an apple. “What does the pin signify?” he asks one of them.

“Oh, nothing,” she says with a chuckle. “We just use it to keep the doctors away.”

Mother nature has pinned our eviction notice.

I'm pretty sure we wont be getting our deposit back...

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One day a bear has announced in the woods that every animal has to bring him meat tomorrow

And if any don't bring it he'll whip their back with his dick.


So the next day every animal in the woods lines up in front of bear's cave and leaves him a piece of meat, but the rabbit as he is weak and can't hunt he left him a carrot.


The bear angrily grabbed the little ...

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8621. If this makes it to the front page, odds are it’s someone’s ATM PIN.

Crap.

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After incorrectly inserting my pin 3 times, I heard the unmistakable pained groans of my wife from behind me.

This voodoo doll is fucking amazing!

The sword swallower went to a sewing store to buy pins and needles

He was on a diet

I heard that your mom uses her weight as her phone's pin code.

Guess that's why Apple changed it from four digits to six.

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My take on a shaggy dog story

A man walks into a bar, orders a pint and sees a sign pinned up above the till - “talking cat, going cheap.”

He calls the barman over and asks him what the deal with the cat is and can he have a look at it. The man shrugs, goes into the back and returns with a mangy old Tom cat.

“Here ...

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3 Cowboys NSFW

Three cowboys sat around a campfire, all exchanging tall tales about how tough they all were.

The first cowboy says “I’m the toughest of the bunch. I was out in the tall grass, looking for a good spot to take a piss. All the sudden this snake appears. And you can see in its eyes, it’s out fo...

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Learning from Construction workers *long*

So a boy is home from school one day, and he's driving his mother nuts. Finally she gets fed up and tells him to go across the street where they are doing construction on a house, and not to come home until he learns something.
A few hours pass, and the boy comes home. The mother asks "Did you ...

Why did the Ghost of the Pin-the-tail-on-the Donkey go to Bevmo?

Because they retail spirits.

(My 9-year-old came up with this, be kind)

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A girl and a boy go to Sunday school together,

They sit on the same table next to each other. The girl falls asleep on the desk with her head on her arms.

Soon, the leader asks a question, “Who is our lord and saviour?” The boy pulls a drawing pin from the display board and pokes the sleeping girl in the arm. She wakes up with a start and...

I once picked up a grenade in a gun sale, they had knocked off 90% because it was missing a pin or something.

It blew my mind.

NEVER ALL AT ONCE

**A farmer had a three legged pig and his neighbor asked him why the pig had only three legs.**

**“Well, I’ll tell you” the farmer replied. “One day I was plowing my field and the tractor turned over and pinned me underneath. That pig ran for help. He saved my life”.**

**“Oh, that’s ho...

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Donald Trump is exiting the White House and heading into his limo...

...when someone pulls out a gun and aims it at him.

A newbie secret service agent, spotting it first yells:"MICKEY MOUSE!".

The would be assassin stops in confusion, giving the other agents time to pin down and arrest him.

When the press reports were over, the newbies supervisor...

An old pub had a dog called Rover

An old pub had a dog called Rover, who all the patrons loved. Unfortunately, one day Rover passed away. To honour the passing of their beloved dog, they cut off his tail and pinned it above the fireplace.

With this, Rover went up to doggy heaven where he was met at the pearly white gates by S...

Texas A&M got into a battle with the Longhorns and started throwing grenades.

So the Longhorns took the pins out and threw them back.

After several months of hounding, a guy finally takes his wife golfing ....

On no. 8, she hits an errant shot right behind a barn. She asks her husband, "now what am I gonna do?" The husband replies, "don't worry, I'll just open the barn doors and you'll have a clear shot right to the pin!" He opens the doors and the wife lets fly a line drive that hits the support post,...

When you die and go to heaven..... which part of your body goes first?

A nun teaching religion was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven..... which part of your body goes first?

Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think its your hands."

"Why do you think its your hands, Suzy?" said the Nun.

Suzy ...

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If a wrestler pins you while having sex with your wife...

Is that a cuckhold?

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A blonde wanted to hang a map up in her room and put pins in everywhere she had been

After buying the map, she went to Japan. Then she went to Alaska. Then Antarctica. Then Australia. She finally went home and picked up her map.

"Now I can finally hang it up," she said.

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A blonde joke

A blonde gets an opportunity to fly to a nearby country. She has never been on an airplane anywhere and was very excited and tense. As soon as she boarded the plane, a Boeing-747, she started jumping in excitement, running over seat to seat and starts shouting, "BOEING! BOEING!! BOEING!!! BO....."...

What sounds like a pin hitting the floor, but louder?

A PIN HITTING THE FLOOR.

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The wrestling match was about to begin...

...and the Contender's coach was once again lecturing the Contender.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times-don't let the Champion get you in The Pretzel! No one has ever been able to get out of The Pretzel!"

The Contender nodded his head, getting ready for the match. ...

Some cavalry soldiers are pinned down by a bunch of Indians.

The Major yells to the Sergeant, "Sergeant, I don't like the sound of those drums!" one of the Indians hollers, "He's not our regular drummer!"

An old, tired-looking dog wandered into the yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home.

He followed me into the house, down the hall, and fell asleep on the couch. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out. The next day he was back, resumed his position on the couch and slept for an hour. This continued for several weeks. Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'Every after...

What happened to Vin Diesel when Dwayne Johnson pinned him against a brick wall?

He found himself between The Rock and a hard place.

How Did the Soldier Get Pinned Down?

He was under a tack.

I was having a hard time remembering my PIN on my debit card....

So I changed it to 0911. That way I never forget.

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A guy walks into a bar, and sees a jar full of money sitting on the table.

Puzzled, he looks at the bartender before ordering a drink.

“Shit, is this the tip jar for today?”

The bartender, cleaning a glass, shakes his head before looking up at the man.

“No, that’s our prize money.”

“Prize money?” The man asked. “What competition did this bar com...

What's a pin without a point?

Pointless. ^^^I'm ^^^sorry

Three people are on a plane...

...and it's about to crash. The first man throws a hundred dollar bill out the window and prays. The second man throws a brick out of the window and prays. The third man pulls the pin on a grenade, throws it out the window, and prays.

Later, when people are on the scene, they spot a person ye...

Did you know that if you pull the pin off of grenade and hold it up to your ear

You can actually hear the world getting smarter.

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NSFW: A man is exploring a cave when two large boulders fall on his leg, pinning him to the ground. A spider is the only one to hear his cries for help.

“I am the elder spider of this cave and will grant you one wish!” he says.
The man makes his wish and the spider calls all his brethren to watch. Thousands of spiders gather around, rubbing their hind legs and smacking their mandibles. The man is confused and a little scared but figures the sp...

My costume is a bunch of sponges pinned to my shirt

I’m self absorbed

From my father-in-law. "Did you know the Polacks started WWII?"

"Yeah, they threw a grenade at the Germans, and the Germans pulled the pin and threw it back."

His joke not mine. I apologize to my polish friends if this offends you, and yes I'm aware his joke could better or more historically accurate.

The Teacher asked her young students to get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it

The next day, the kids came back and one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff.But then the teacher realised that only Janie was left. "Janie, do you have a story to share ?'


''Yes madam......My daddy told me a story about
my Mom.She was...

What is Jeremy Clarkson's PIN number?

Nought two sixty.

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

A Canadian couple was strolling through a park in London and sat down on a bench next to an elderly Briton. The Brit noticed their lapel pins sporting the Canadian flag and, to make conversation, said "Judging by your pins, you must be Canadians".

"Indeed we are", replied the Canadian gen...

What kind of boat has candy in the middle?

A pinYACHTa

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Bill was a horny man who had just been deployed to a US army post in another country far away from the US.

Bill slept in a room, that had lots of bunk beds, about 15 and it was usually silent at night. You could hear a pin drop. Bill had his urges but he would not surrender, the power of the nut would not defeat him.

Well, eventually it did and one not trying to be as silent as possible he tried t...

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A deaf accountant works for the mafia.

One day, the king pin mafioso is checking out the books and notices there's a million dollars missing. He calls a meeting with the deaf accountant and a sign language translator.

"Ok, there's a million dollars missing, where is it?" asks the king pin. Translator says, "There's a million dolla...

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Job Profile

The CEO during a site visit to the office asks a young Manager "Yes smarty, What do you do?"

Manager (calmly) : "Sir, I'm the Sexual Advisor to the VP."

Pin drop silence ensues, photographer stops taking pictures, all others stop working and start looking around.

The CEO looks ...

A wasp expert walks into a record shop

He goes to the owner and asks if they have the new edition of wasp sounds 2019.
The record shop owner says that they have it in stock and asks if the wasp expert would like to listen too it before he buys.

The wasp expert agrees and the record is placed on the record player.
The pin goe...

I never use pushpins at work so my boss called the police. Now I’m going to jail.

They’re charging me with tacks evasion.

What do you call an African who plays 10 pin bowling online?

Ebola.

What did Jesus feel before he was nailed to the cross?

Pins and Needles

Why did the bowling pins stop working?

They went on strike!

You are invited to our next AA (Acronym Abusers) meeting!

Please RSVP by the ATM machine with your PIN number!

A woman joins the army....

A woman was walking through a store when she noticed a colorful flyer pinned to a billboard. It reads:

JOIN THE ARMY NOW! You will receive benefits such as:
• Free college education
• Many veteran benefits
• Experience in many fields of work
• Travel
• Any free car after a sp...

A blonde is down on her luck...

A blonde, out of money, and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." S...

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Heard this some 30-years ago in the Navy...

An Air Force General, Marine General, Army General and a Navy Admiral have a bet on which service has the most balls…



The Marine general grunts, “I’ll solve this right now!” calls for a company of Marines, pulls the pin on a grenade and tosses it in the middle shouting, “Grenade!” One...

What a horrible way to die

Two guys meet up in a bar.

The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb,...

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joke

An inflatable child took a pin into their inflatable school full of inflatable children. He's caught, and given a stern talking to. The headteacher/principal says to him,"Not only have you let me down, you've let the school down, and you've let yourself down too."

Johnny and Sarah are in Sunday School ...

Johnny and Sarah are sitting in Sunday school class when Sarah begins to fall asleep. The teacher notices this and decides to embarrass Sarah by asking her a question. The teacher asks, "Sarah, who created the heavens and the earth?" Johnny decides to help Sarah out and wake her up, so he covertly t...

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