UPJOKE
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Staunch Jokes

A man walks into a department store

He says to sales lady "I would like to buy a Baptist bra for my wife, size 36B."
With a quizzical look the sales lady asked "what kind of bra?"

He repeated a "Baptist bra, she said to tell you she wanted a Baptist bra, and you would know what she wanted."

"Ah now I remember" sai...

Maria, a staunch Catholic woman got married and had 15 kids with her husband

Sadly, he passed away sometime later. Maria then married another man and had 15 children with him as well. Soon after, her second husband also passed away and eventually, Maria passed away

2 days later, it's Maria's funeral and the Priest says"Finally. They are together". Maria's sister, ami...

My blonde wife is staunchly opposed to my kids having a vacation.

She’s convinced they cause autism.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Mary comes home to tell her father she is a prostitute

A staunch catholic - he is outraged.

Father: "How can you do this to your mother and I! After how we raised you, took you to chapel and taught you to live by the ways of the Lord! What in heavens name will the rest of the family think of you? Think of us!?

No, I won't have it, you'l...

Just Married

Following their wedding, the bride and groom retired to the honeymoon suite. Being staunchly religious folk, they had not been intimate, and the bride, being hesitant, watched as the groom removed his trousers. With a horrified look she gasped, "My Lord, what happened to your legs?"

"Well...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Patrick brings home his new fiancĂŠ to meet his parents.

Patrick brings home his new fiancĂŠ, Stacy, and introduces her to his parents, who are staunchly Irish Catholic and very old fashioned.

His parents and Stacy get along very well and they have a nice dinner together. After dinner, they are in the living room exchanging stories, laughs, and bee...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What religion is your bra?

A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's and shyly walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife."

"What type of bra?" asked the clerk.

"Type?" inquires the man, "There's more than one type?"

"Look around," said the saleslady, ...

Where do you guys stand on the cheese debate?

I'm staunchly pro-volone.

In the confessional booth

I told the priest i had committed the grevious sin of fornication. My girlfriend, a staunch catholic, made me confess though i knew little of the faith. I told the priest i was sorry and that I had made an act of contrition.

"Was it perfect?" The priest inquired?

Not knowing what per...

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The Case of the Missing Wallet

A man walks into the office of Sherlock Holmes. He explains that his wallet has been stolen. He begs Holmes to take the case as he is a poor man, and the money in the wallet was the only money he had. Holmes staunchly refuses. As the man sulks out, Watson turns to Holmes and asks, "So why didn't you...

Each Man Gets One Wish...

Steve Bannon, Donald Trump, and Justin Trudeau are walking along the path outside the Ottawa Parliament, when they come across a lantern in their path. Upon picking it up, a a cloud of smoke appears, and when it clears, to their amazement, there's a Genie!

The Genie says, "As there are three ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Another Football joke

A man-a staunch Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan- goes to a sports bar in Tampa to watch his favorite team play, and brings his dog with him. As usual, the Bucs get slaughtered, while the other team racks up score after score. Finally , late in the game, the Bucs score a field goal. The dog jumps so high it...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was an elderly nurse working overnight in an emergency room.

There was an elderly nurse working overnight in an emergency room. She had been doing this, and doing it well, for 45 years. She was a good nurse, always sharp as a tack, but she was getting to the point in life where she was just starting to get endearingly scatter brained. She would frequently get...

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