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Tube Jokes

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YouTube ads are like horny men.

Popping up every thirty seconds.

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I w...
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Looking back, I'm glad I didn't get that YouTube internship

I really dodged a bullet
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Now that Elon Musk has bought Twitter and laid off half the staff, he’s planning on buying YouTube and Facebook and doing the same with them. To save even more money, he plans on merging the three companies into one…

…He’s going to call it YouTwitFace.
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A Joke I Heard On YouTube

A man goes to his rabbi & says "Rabbi, You'll never believe what happened to me. My son has become a Christian.

The rabbi replies "Hyram, YOU'LL never believe what happened to ME. MY son also, has become a Christian. I'm not sure how to help you."

The man says "Well, should we ask...
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Two English gentlemen are commuters, using the Tube to the City. They get on and off at the same stations, and having done it for years they occasionally nod greetings or even exchange a “good morning.”

One of them looked really unhappy one day and the other said “I know we haven’t been introduced but if you don’t mind me saying it you do look a bit peaky.”
“My false teeth are killing me.”
“Hmmm. If you let me have a good look I may be able to help you.”
“Oh please do...”
“Give me a da...
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If r/Jokes posts were like YouTube videos

Joke title: IS THIS THE WORLD'S FUNNIEST JOKE?

Hello welcome to my joke, this joke is sponsored by BackdooredVPN, get the VPN service for just $29.95 a month. Also sponsored by Microtransaction Legends, download the app for free today.

Before we share the joke we want to remind you tha...

What do werewolves say at the end of their YouTube videos?

"Lycan subscribe!"
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Found this on YouTube a few years ago

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard.
A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried.
Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it.
The priest b...
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I replaced my friend's chapstick with a tube of glue.

So far, he hasn't said anything about it.
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Women really know how to hold a grudge over the smallest things. My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm, and by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue.

It's been a month now and she's still not speaking to me
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What's the best part of being a test tube baby?

You get a womb with a view
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Scientists have finally managed to grow human vocal cords in a test tube

The results speak for themselves
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What do you call five tubes of human toothpaste?

The winners of the 2023 Darwin Awards!
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What do you call a werewolf on YouTube?

A Lycansubscribe.
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After I broke up with my short girlfriend, she started a YouTube channel dedicated to trashing me.

I said "well that's a little ex stream"
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A farmer is trying to grow hydroponic potatoes, but he starts them in test tubes. This results in the potatoes being long with a round bulge at the top, so they look like male genitals.

The farmer tries to sell them to anyone and eventually even posts them online, where he surprisingly starts getting more orders than he can fill; and all from Russia. He’s surprised but grows another batch and they sell out again. He starts worrying there might be something illegal going on so he go...
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Is it okay to compare a man getting “the snip” with a woman getting her tubes tied?

After all, there isn’t a vas deferens between the two ovum
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Why was princess Zelda sad after watching a bunch of YouTube videos?

She couldn't find the link in the description.
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What do adult cam models and anti-vaxxers have in common?

Both always end up lying in bed deep-throating a plastic tube.
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Does anyone else remember seeing the Annoying Orange on YouTube?

I sure do.

He was in the white house for four years.
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A duck walks into a pharmacy, grabs a tube of Chapstick® and puts it on the counter.

Cashier says, "That'll be $2. Cash or card?"

The duck says, "Just put it on my bill."
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What Do You Call A YouTube Sensation With A Computer Virus?

A social influenza.
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One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...

It'll be called YouTwitFace.
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It's 2023, and I still tell my subscribers on YouTube to wear a mask.

Because who knows? My video could go viral.
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YouTube disabled the dislike counter.

I would say that everyone disliked that, but I honestly can't tell.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the difference between your mother, and your father's hamster tube?

One's a fat prostitute and the other's a fat prostate chute.

Four worms were placed in four separate test tubes

The first was filled with beer, the second with wine, the third with whiskey, and the last with water.

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

- Worm in beer: dead
- Worm in wine: dead
- Worm in whiskey: dead
- Worm in water: alive

The teacher asks, "Wh...
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My wife is into these pimple popping videos on YouTube.

She's completely abcessed.
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What do chemists like to watch on YouTube?

Reaction videos.
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What happened to Satan’s YouTube channel?

It got demon-itized
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This racist blonde with 3 kids got her tubes tied...

because she read that 1 child in 4 is black.
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What is the most popular tree on YouTube?

A face plant
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Now that there are YouTube shorts does that make all the other videos longs?

Or Pants?
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A werewolf stenographer starts a YouTube channel from his post on a U-boat:

Lychan Sub Scribe
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Dad, do you know how much toothpaste is in one tube?

"No I don't. How much?"

"from the couch to the TV stand and back."
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey guys, YouTube recommended me a video on "How to identify if a guy is gay".

Easiest would be to ask them, then again we wouldn't know if they're gonna give a straight answer.

What does YouTube and the US Police have in common?

They take people down before they're proven innocent.
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What Is The Difference Between A Tube And A Foolish Dutchman?

One is a hollow cylinder, and the other a silly Hollander.
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If you have a child, you can name them “one million subscribers on YouTube”

Then you can tell people you hit one million subscribers on YouTube
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I had an operation on my penis the other day, they shoved a tube down my shaft.

It was very eye opening.

You tube

Police say their investigation into the shooting at the YouTube headquarters has been hampered by having to sit through a 5 second advert before interviewing each witness
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“YouTube Red” is a mouthful of a name.

Why not just call it “RedTube”?
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I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of lube

It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.
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What is a pirates favorite YouTube genre?

ASM ARRR!!
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

YouTube rewind 2019

That's it, the whole fucking joke

A gem from the YouTube comment section

"This watch has tremendous sentimental value to me. My father sold it to me on his deathbed." -Woody Allen
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How did the man feel when he dropped his tube of toothpaste?

Crest-fallen
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Sometimes, when Mother’s Day comes around, I feel bad for all those test tube babies

…who didn’t have a mother.

But then I remember they got a womb with a view.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do YouTube and Small Penis fetishists have in common?

They both only fuck the little guy.

What is common between YouTube and our government?

Both break their own laws
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When two people kiss, they create a long tube....

...with a butt hole at each end.

I just started a YouTube channel about viruses.

I guess you could say I’m a real influenz-er
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My mom is like a YouTube apology video

She never admits she’s wrong
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2 test tubes

‘We have two test tubes here,’ said the professor of IVF studies from Monash University. ‘They contain two carefully synthesized ingredients that we can now use to create human life. Solution A is a genetically engineered copy of all the ingredients in the female ovum, while Solution B replicates th...
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How do you identify a Christian extremist YouTube video without watching it?

It has 665 likes.
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I keep seeing clips from “An Inconvenient Truth” on my YouTube homepage...

Must just be the Al Gore-ithim
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Most people hate clickbait YouTube titles and thumbnails.

But this clickbait Reddit post is way worse.
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A terrible YouTube joke

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"Demon."

"Demon who?"

**"DEMONETISATION!"**
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Why will the Moon replace YouTube

It has lots of big craters

This joke brought to you by my girlfriend, you wouldn't know her, she goes to a different school .
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YouTube reminds me of your mom

It went down on all of America last night.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Just saw a junkie at Wal-Mart put his whole dick in a tube of Planter's Cashews

Dude was fucking nuts.

A good looking woman walks into a bar wearing a tube top.

She raises her hand to signal the bartender for a beer, revealing that she does not shave her armpits.

Meanwhile, a sloppy drunk on the other side of the bar signals the bartender, "Buy that ballerina over there a drink on me."

The bartender replies, "What makes you think she's a balle...
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What do you call the YouTube channel of a werewolf who works on submarines to stay out of the way of full moons and copies all the documents for the captain?

Lycan sub scribe
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My dumbass brother made a YouTube video by firing dad's taser at the camera.

What happened next will shock you.
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So a horse is watching YouTube and...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the m...
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My YouTube video with no audio just got taken down.

John Cage gave me a copyright strike.
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You know what happens when you post a Legend of Zelda song on YouTube...

A copyright strike is imminintendo.
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I can only see Jane's Addiction videos on YouTube if I stare straight at them

I must've lost my PerryFerrell vision
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What is the wealthy dude who makes bread on YouTube called?

Mr Yeast
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I started reading YouTube comments recently

Because cutting myself just wasn't doing the trick anymore.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A tube of toothpaste is a real asshole design.

You can get the stuff out, but you can't get it back in.

YouTube is the nicest company ever...

They just want to even the playing field so their competitors have a chance to catch up to them.
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When the human body dies, what's the last part to die?

The pupils. They dilate.
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40 years ago today, Louise Brown became the first test tube baby...

She had a womb with a view.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Taking diet advice from people on YouTube...

Is like taking sex advice from me.

I wanted to make a joke criticising YouTube and how ridiculous it's gotten in there

But first, a word from our sponsor RAID: Shadow Legends!
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If life was a YouTube video...

Monday would be that annoying ad that doesn't have the "You can skip in 5 seconds" option.
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I had a dream (true story) that I was watching YouTube videos on how to turn large animals into cars.

Taxidermy.
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I randomly encountered a video on YouTube that’s says "How to stop procrasinating”

I thought it was beneficial to me since I am constantly procrastinating, so I saved it to watch later
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What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment?

[removed]
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I once met a girl who confused a tube of KY Jelly with super glue

I asked her how it happened, but sadly her lips were sealed.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My chemist wife sometimes uses a test tube as a dildo

She likes it but I think its fucking vial

Why did the test tube go to college?

To become a graduated cylinder.
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Hey girl, are you a tube of Pringles?

Because my whole fist is stuck inside of you
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call the world's sexiest test tube baby?

Danny DeVitro

The recent shooting at YouTube was pretty terrible.

I guess the shooter had one too many videos demonitized.
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What does 2020, YouTube’s algorithm, and Reddit’s karma calculator, have in common?

Nobody knows how it really works and is just hoping for the best.
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What is the difference between baseball players and London Tube drivers?

Baseball players are out after three strikes.
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As the YouTube makeup influencers feuded with each other i couldn't help but wonder...

Had their relationship been built using a bad *foundation?*
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I decided to watch some YouTube videos today

Should I sell my car or house first
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What does Jeffery Epstein and me being offered 30 days of YouTube premium have in common?

We both skip the trial.
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When YouTube keeps recommending Iron Man videos after you seen Endgame

“Everywhere I go, I see his face”
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I dropped the expired blood tubes as I was handing them to my coworker

Now there’s bad blood between us
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Local sausage restaurant starts a YouTube channel...

Links in the description.
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I like those comedy shorts you see on YouTube sometimes.

Or 'dwarves', if you want to be all politically correct about it.
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I'll never understand how Americans use cheese from tubes or slices as everyday food...

We should definitely make America grate again.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's the worst thing about being a test tube baby?

... knowing your dad's a wanker

At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: “Help, I’m starving.”

He can’t be that hungry, he hasn’t even finished his dog.
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YouTube, Reddit and Instagram walk into a bar...

All of them make fools of the themselves vying for the attention of everyone in the bar.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

YouTube Review 2018 actually does represent the year 2018 pretty well...

Shitty

Why should you turn off autoplay before showing your kid a YouTube video?

You never know what Elsa's coming on next.
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I want to work for YouTube.

It sounds so easy! All you have to do is remove a few lines of code everyday!
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What do Baptist churches and YouTube comment sections have in common?

They both claim that they're first.
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Why are test tube manufacturers always single?

People just seem to find them vial!
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Two blondes were tubing down a river...

Two blondes were tubing down a river when they got pulled into the rapids. Their tubes capsized and floated off without them and they ended up on opposite sides of the river.

One yells to the other, "How do I get to the other side?"

The other yells back, "You're on the other side!"
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Slipped on a tube of toothpaste this morning.

I was crestfallen.
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My wife said she would leave me if i suggested getting her tubes tied again...

But i think she's just ovaryacting.
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Two people walk onto a stage, both holding metal tubes. One sings and the other raps. How do you tell which is which before they start performing?

Easy: The singer’s got pipes, and the rapper’s got bars.
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This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was traveling on a 10 hour flight and thought I'd have a quick chat to make time go by faster

So I turn towards the young person beside me.

Me: Hello, would you like to have a quick chat to make time go by quicker?

She: Sure. What do you want to talk about?

Me: So why don't we talk about Iran's Nuclear Program?

Then she goes "All right then" and puts down her cra...

I went to make a joke on the Para-Olympic's YouTube channel

but the comments were disabled.
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In case of any apocalyptic scenarios, scientists want to store the DNA of millions of species of animals and plants in lava tubes of the moon

The DNA of any illicit substances will be kept in Uranus

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