My ex and I only stay together because of shared insurance.
We're friends with benefits.
My Asian girlfriend told me that if I wanted us to stay together I needed to get rid of my dog
It was a no Nguyen situation.
A couple goes to court to get a divorce
The judge is a big pro-family man and thinks it is a good idea for the couple to stay together for their 3 kids. Maybe they can see past their differences and reconcile. The judge says, "I can let you divorce, and split all your assets. But how can I split up the children? If I give 2 to one parent ...
The wish.
One day, a married couple walked into a temple. The preist said "today is a fortunate day for praying, you both pray to god and ask a wish each and it will be granted" The Wife prays "God, I hope me and my husband stay together for 7 lives" Husband after listening this, prays "God, may this be...
One Bill Gates' divorce
According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word. And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams. On the Sur...
Building in Antarctica is difficult!
No matter what I tried I couldn't get my house to stay together. I tried concrete, brick and mortar, even duct tape! I finally found something that worked though, it was quite simple, igloo'd it together.
The key to a long marriage (My 85 year old uncle, a retired investment stock broker, used to tell this to his clients. He told it to me and I thought I'd share it)
A pastor was addressing his congregation about marriage and staying together. He asked his flock:
"How many couples have been married for 1 year?"
a bunch of hands rose
"How many couples have been married 5 years?"
Still a lot of hands rose
"How many 10 year couple...
Saw a joke about an elderly couple who were getting a divorce, reminded me of this old gem.
The elder couple are in divorce court. Everything is basically going as per usual except both of the soon to be divorcees are well into their nineties. After seeing all the paperwork, the judge ask, "Now folks, help me understand this. You've been married for over 70 years! Why are you getting a div...
A couple are out having dinner
They are in the middle of their meal when a gorgeous young woman walks up to the table, kisses him on the cheek, and says, "See you later, sweetie."
The wife is furious. "Who was that?"
That was Giselle. She's my mistress."
"That's it. I've suspected for a long time, but to have...
A blonde a brunette and a redhead go on a hunting trip
They stay together in a cabin deep in the woods.
On the first day the brunette goes out hunting and returns back to the cabin with a buck.
The blonde and the brunette are shocked and ask, “How’d you kill a buck!??”
The brunette replied, “I saw the tracks. I followed the track...
A college stud could get with any women he wanted.
Luke was pretty much perfect: star on the football team, top of his class, president multiple clubs, and was hot af. I mean, this guy has slept with hundreds of different girls, even his teachers. However, near his college career, he wants to settle down. He asks one of his best friends, Tracy, i...
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