Several churches started having problems with squirrels damaging their buildings.

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrel infestation. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded that the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they should not interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had ...

What do you call a vacuum that interferes with the legal system?

Obsuction of justice

After building the wall, Trump to build an electromagnetic barrier to prevent foreign bees from entering the U.S. by sending waves that interfere with their communication.

Trump is strictly against Global Swarming

I never interfere when two white people fight.

Because it’s already a fair fight.

What do you call a Bee that tries to interfere with an election?

A Cagey Bee.

American's won't stand for Russian interference..

"Only American billionaires are allowed to undermine our Democracy!"

There's two types of people, those who do 'See' Russian Interference and those who do "Not See"

I guess Trump is a Not See

A lot of Russian girls are trying to hook up with American guys online.

But it’s really just Putin trying to interfere with our erections.

A man was recruited for a space colony

He had been posted to a planet 14 lightyears from Sol. As his ship landed on the planet's glowing surface, he saw a car waiting for him.

"Welcome to Anti-Earth," The driver said, "don't worry we are going to change the name soon. I am here to take you to your quarters and show you the colony ...

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A guy was recruited for the first settlement on another planet....

The Settlement Chief met him on the landing site.

"This place is going to take some getting used to. It's like a mirror version of Earth. The elements which are rare on Earth are the most abundant here while the common elements are extremely rare."

"So why are we here then," the guy a...

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What do you call it when you get cock-blocked by Vladimir Putin?

Erection interference

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Franz was reading his book on death row...

It was the ‘storm of the century’. On death row, Franz was reading his religious texts, looking for God, even as the inmates of the neighbouring cells were having an explosive argument about who should get to shower first. ’14 days to execution’, Franz thought, as he physically and mentally trembled...

God, bored one day, decides to visit one of his most loyal followers and grant him one wsh.

Follower: Wow, anything I want!?!?

God: Yes, as long as it is in reason.

Follower: OK, can I get a highway from my house to Hawaii?

God: I'm sorry, that would interfere with other people and nature, so I'm afraid I cannot do that.

Follower: Alright, I wish to be able to u...

I was going to vote in the primary, but I got to the polling place late...

....and I just had to sit in my car until my favorite song, "Tom Sawyer," ended.

But by the time I exited the vehicle, it was too late for me to enter the polling place. I'm really frustrated because it's not the first time that has happened to me.

I'm so sick of Rush's interference i...

A woman placed some flowers on the grave of her dearly departed mother and started back toward her car when her attention was diverted to another woman kneeling at a grave.

The woman seemed to be crying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?"

The first woman approached her and said, "I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For who...

Irish Vs. English

An English naval vessel is called to attention by an Irish Guard.

Irish: Aye, approaching vessel, I advise ye turn 15 degrees south to avoid a collision.

The English Captain replies: "Negative, sir. We advise you redirect 15 degrees north to avoid said collision."

Irish: I repea...

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Tax inspector marries a woman who was already married 6 times. First wedding night...

"Dear, please be careful, I'm a virgin!"

- No way! There were six spouses now?

"I'll explain everything to you.

My first husband was a psychiatrist. He was just talking about sex. Theoretically. Never did it in practice.

My second husband was a gynaecologist. He was just...

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The Chinese have developed a new pill that increases the average penis size by 3 inches.

Reports say they will use it to interfere with the upcoming U.S. erections.

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After a plane crash, only one woman and two men survived and are lost on a virgin island...

...so they start organizing their new lives, because they have no hope of ever seeing help. While one of them is in charge of hunting and picking fruits, the others build a house, etc.

One day however, the woman decides to convoke both men and expose her frustration:

"It's been so long...

I'm like a single electron...

Sometimes, when no one is watching, I interfere with myself.

Maintenance issues

Husband: (Calling up the hotel reception) Please come to my room immediately. My wife and I are having an argument and she just threatened to jump out of the hotel window.

Receptionist: Sir, I apologize but since this is a personal issue, we cannot interfere.

Husband: You asshat! The...

Donald Trump was greeted with a naked picture of Kim Jong Un in today's meeting

Kim thought his advisors told him to interfere with US erections.

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A veteran is being interviewed for a job...

and it looks like hes going to get it. When the interviewer asks

I. Do you have any medical issues we should know about?

V. When I was in the war my testicles were blown off. I take pills for it so its not an issue though. Only problem is I cant drink coffee now. The caffeine will int...

Yo moma is so stupid....

she could observe the particles in the double slit experiment and still get an interference pattern

A priest lived behind his chapel

...and one morning, he heard a knock on his door. The priest opens the door and finds an armless man standing there.

"How can I help you, son?" Asks the priest.

"Well sir," said the fellow, "The name's Sam, and I'm down out of luck. It's hard to get by as an armless man, and I need to ...

The interwiewer asked. What's your biggest flaw?

I interfere in others conversations.

I was talking to him.

Sorry

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A man goes to the doctor

A man goes to the doctor because his voice is too deep. Uncomfortably deep. People have problems understanding him over the phone and it interferes with his social life.

He says to the doctor, "DOC, YOU GOTTA HELP ME. WHAT'S CAUSING MY VOICE TO BE LIKE THIS?"

After an examination, th...

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News report: Source of tainted Viagra found to be contaminated shipping containers still in use from Soviet-era East Germany.

Proving once and for all Russian interference in American erections.

Old couple goes to the doctor's about memory problems.

They say, "We always seem to forget even the most mundane things. It's really starting to interfere with our lives."
The Doctor says, "I know this sounds obvious, but why not try writing things down on a little piece of paper so you remember them?"

They try this for a week and it works per...

Top10 signs your son is too old for breast feeding

10. He can open your blouse by himself; with one hand.

9. While suckling at one breast, he caresses the other.

8. He has developed a bad habit of flicking his tongue.

7. He keeps slipping dollar bills in your belt.

6. He uses your milk as creamer for his coffee.
<...

The tale of Thanksgiving.

It's that time of year, so raise a cheer, here's to drinking beer and shooting deer. Here's to friends who are sincere and friends who will endear. When others appear we give them a leer, but not so severe that they leave out of fear. We send pioneers to explore the frontier, and they return bearing...

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A man goes on vacation.

A man decides to go on a vacation on a Pacific island. When he steps off the plane, it is amazing: Cool, light ocean breeze, palms gently swaying in the wind, white sandy beaches, drums off in the distance. He goes to his hotel, checks in, starts having the time of his life.

When he turns in ...

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Signs...

The following are all signs that you are a drunk. They include, but are not limited to...

- You lose arguments with inanimate objects.

- You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

- Your job interferes with your drinking.

- Your doctor finds traces...

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