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Solved Jokes

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were in a hotel for a convention.

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were in a hotel for a convention. Then, in the middle of the night for no apparent reason, a fire breaks out in the engineer's wastebasket. The engineer rushes over to the bathroom, empties out the ice bucket, fills it with water and pours it into the ...

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Why are no murders solved in West Virginia?

Everyone has the same DNA and no one has any teeth.

I don't mean to brag, but I solved a puzzle in 10 minutes...

Even though the box said 2-4 years.

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Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Passau by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

Sherlock Holmes was always reluctant to take credit for solving a mystery

Oh it was nothing, he would say. The police would have solved it in time.

Everyone knew he was just being modest. Be he ever so humble, there's no Police like Holmes.

The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him.

The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.

Do you know what grade sherlock Holmes was in when he solved his first case?

Elementary my dear!

Family xmas problem solved

An elderly man in Oklahoma calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day son, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting a divorce; 45 years of marriage... and that much misery is enough!" "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the sight of ea...

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Toilet paper hoarding mystery has been solved.

When one person sneezes nine shit themselves.

The mystery of how my luggage worked has been solved.

It was an opened and shut case.

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Solved Problem

An old farmer was having trouble getting his bull to breed with the
 cows and was lamenting the fact to a few of his friends down at the
 local beerhall.

 One of them said, "Ya know, Ben, I used to have the same trouble with 
 my bull, but I got it fixed really quickly."

 "How...

Why don't murders get solved in Alabama

Because there are no dental records, and everyone's DNA matches.

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I had a problem with my computer yesterday...

So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong ?
He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'
...

The chicken or the egg: I have solved the riddle

The rooster came first

I've solved every single mathematical problem!

I have nothing more to add

Old Russian joke. Russia has 2 major problems: roads and idiots. One of them can be solved by a road roller...

But it's impossible to figure out what to do with roads.

A detective has finally solved a high profile dog murder.

He successfully followed a lead.

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Our neighbour's dog crapped in our garden, so my wife asked me to get a shovel and throw it over the fence.

I don't know what that solved. We still have dog shit in our garden and the neighbours have our shovel.

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The homeless problem would be solved if. . .

. . the Big Issue had tits in it.

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General Motors finally solved their workplace diversity dilemma

There are equal numbers of black, white, brown, red, yellow, and orange robots. Half the robots have penises drawn on them.

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