UPJOKE
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Work Out Jokes

I was dating a religious girl, but it didn't work out.

I saw on her phone that she was meeting some guy called John at 3:16, so I'm like, "No thanks, I'm out."

How do cars work out?

They pickup trucks

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My girlfriend was pissed when I told here we weren’t gonna work out

I tried to explain to her that the gym was closed that day.

Where does a genie go to work out?

A Djinn-nasium

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the Asexual orgy not work out?

No one came.

Why couldn’t Yoda work out that |7| = 7?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

"What's your plan B if art doesn't work out, sir?"

"Politics."

Where do monkeys go to work out?

The jungle gym.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

my first marriage didn't work out because my wife was too messy

Every time I went to piss in the sink she had dishes in it.

I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out.

She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.

How did the constipated Mathematician work out his problem?

With a pencil.

I once dated a tennis player, but it didn't work out...

...it turned out love meant nothing to her.

According to my research, only 12% of people at the gym actually go to work out

The other 88% are there to demand I stop my filming

A girl I’m dating works long hours at a bakery. I don’t think it’s going to work out.

She’s too kneady.

Why don't spies work out?

because they have an inside job.

What do you call someone who invites themselves over, unannounced, and wants to work out with you?

A Jehovah Fitness.

God's plan to use wasps to pollinate didn't work out.

So he had to resort to Plan Bee.

I once dated a waitress. It didn't work out..

All she wanted was the tip

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I always knew that things wouldn't work out between me and my ex girlfriend.

After all, I'm an Aquarius and she's a bitch.

What rapper doesn't work out enough?

Tupac.

Where do elements work out?

The oxygym

Why do relationships between string instruments never work out?

They always result in domestic violins.

A psychologist friend of mine just got a grant to work out how mice communicate

Not much money in it though. He can barely eke out a living.

What does Davy Jones like to work out the most on his body?

His dead man's chest.

I’m looking for jokes that you have to work out. My favourite is the one in the below, which was posted here by another user. Does anyone else have any similar ones that you have to think about before finding the funny?

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed on him.

To be fair, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

No matter how hard you work out, (nsfw)...

...your ballsack still looks like an old mans elbow.

I tried being an Eskimo but it didn't work out

I just wasn't Inuit

When I started dating my communist girlfriend I should have known things wouldn’t work out…

So many red flags

I was trying to work out how long it would take to watch an entire season of 24

But in the end I had to call it a day

I tried stand-up before, but it didn't work out. My first audience was a real tough crowd

I was performing in a haunted house and the only responses I got were "boooo".

Where do Star Trek fans work out?

At the He's Dead Gym.

Why does the bison work out by himself?

He likes to get buffalone

What really motivates people to work out in southeast asia?

Eye of the Thai girl.

How does Spiderman work out?

Peter Parkour

What kind of work out do lazy people do?

Diddly-squats

Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but...

He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra.

And she's a bitch.

Did you hear about the donkey that neglected its kids to go work out every day?

Such a jacked ass

In used to work out a lot in the gym

But I got sick of the long weights

What do you call a dinosaur that likes to work out?

Tricepsaresore

If my current career doesn’t work out I’m going try my hand as a honey farmer.

It’s my plan bee.

Blacksmith: "I'm almost done with this sword, I just need to work out the kinks."

Sword: "Hit me more!"

I told my online friend that I'm a body builder and he asked what my pre-work out was.

Apparently lots of mcdonald's along with everything else I eat wasn't what he would've assumed.

What does Bruce Lee drink after a hard work out?

Wa-TAH!!

They finally did it, Reddit has made impossible for blind people to moderate their sub with the api changes. This is their last statement from r/blind

"H dhei osndhsjbw siso is koqp odjd jsoa JD djs sis ikksbs"

(I am sorry for this horrible joke and I really hope things may work out for you)

I helped an old lady at the bank work out her balance

She's still on the floor

I used to date an opera singer, but it didn't work out.

She was all mi, mi, mi.

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